housework

[Iheartu]

I'll probably get everyone shouting at me, but why is it not obvious that men don't do half of housework?

If women are only working 70% (or whatever) as much as men, then it wouldn't be equality if it was all shared in the house. More men work longer hours so less men do housework. When as many women are in fulltime employment then as many men will do the chores? It seems pretty obvious.

that won't happen though. Not till men have babies LOL

I don't think the pay gap is because men are working longer hours than women .. and if it was, then one way to reduce it would be to equalise the working, so men worked less, women worked more.

I'm glad that works for you, I've spent time at home with my children too, and now I'm going back to work, because that's what's right for me and my family.

My partner doesn't need me to do everything for him, he's a grown man who is capable of running the washing machine or filling the dishwasher or changing a nappy, and if he wasn't, then he wouldn't be the right man for me. If you're happy with your DP going out to work and you doing everything around the house then that's great, but understand that it's not what everyone else wants.

" As her earnings increase in comparison to his, so does the amount of housework done by her, compared to him."
I suspect hers drops to closer to his level, as they hire a cleaner.

Ah, it must be nice to live in a little 1950s world.

You know, where the woman either doesn't work or only works part-time, where the man earns 70% of the income, and where only mums who stay at home can raise their children properly.

I'll stick with my 2015 world, thank you. But please, keep enlightening us, I'm fascinated.

The pay gap is real and it takes into account hours worked.

Nobody is saying your partner should do all the work at home. Do you both get the same amount of leisure time?

And I'd say he was lucky to have you enabling him working and looking after the house and children. Because it would cost him a fortune in time, money and effort to replace you and he would certainly understand what working hard was all about. He also wouldn't be able to his work as he does now.

exactly Scallops - in fact we just went and got life assurance for us both, having worked out what it costs to replace one of us, and realising that if something happened to one of us then the other would be in severe difficulties!

Makes no sense? All those fancy words and you cant do the math? LOL

I could do the maths if there were any to do. I'm very happy for you, that you can afford to stay at home, many women and men don't have that luxury.

As long as you have equal leisure time and equal disposable income then there is no problem, the problems arise for women in your position who find themselves either without that leisure time and money, or left by their partner in 10 years when they've no employment record nor up to date qualifications. However, I'm sure that won't be you.

or left by their partner in 10 years when they've no employment record nor up to date qualifications. However, I'm sure that won't be you.

Yeh sounds about right. What did I say about ppl looking down there noses?

People don't look down their noses at SAHMs

They do however look down their noses at stupid people who post stupid things purely to get a rise

Oh and puffins is completely right about some women being left in the lurch

Ok.

first of all define work?
More men work longer hours - says who?
Its fewer men do housework - not less. How do you know? Evidence please.
Many women are in ft employment and many men do the chores.
Pretty obvious.
Do you have a point to your bullshit post.

FWIW my dh does approx 70% of domestic chores and I am a sahm.
He does this because occasionally he works away and I do the lot. I am also pretty shit at it
There are many ways couples organise their domestic responsibilities, looks like you haven't cottoned on to this yet.

People don't look down their noses at SAHMs

So your experience is better than mine is it?

Im not after getting a rise, im making a point that you dont like. Cos as Thunderpants say you give 0 fucks about opinions that dont match yours. Well 0 fucks except youll keep posting insults of course.

Theres a thing where women stay at home and do housework cos they have babies. Its always been a thing even if its less of a thing now. All well and good, but because you have a lot moaning about how everythings unfair you now have as much pressure on people being equal and liberated as you used to have on them being unequal. Thats just swopping one lots of expectations for another lots. Its stil pressure on women and now its you thats doing it. Feminsists. Thats funny isnt it?

It hasn't always been a thing actually, especially not amongst working class women. But don't let facts get in the way of a good rant.

OP, if you were a bit nicer you may find that some people could agree with one of your points.
I have experienced women (only a minority though) who think that women who are sahm are letting the side down and should be working in the name of feminism and equality.
They really are a minority and not worth bothering with, and on here i have come across no more than 3. In rl I have met one who pushed it that much she ended up with a black eye, but she provoked over a period of about 6 weeks and had bloody serious problems.

iheartu

I have never experienced anyone looking down on me

No idea what your experiences are...but if people are looking down on you it's probably not because you are a stay at home mum...that's what I meant by my comment

And if you weren't trying to get a rise then my "stupid people" comment doesn't apply to you then does it

iheart

But you are right ...I don't agree with your point, or I might not have understood it

My DH brings in 100% of the money! by your logic I should get up off the sofa where I am watching back to back CSI and do 100% of the housework...that won't be happening

Yes, puffin is completely right some sahms are left high and dry, of course they are. I'm not sure of the stats but there are so many marriages that end in divorce just by sheer averages it is going to affect sahms.

That isn't looking down on you, but stating a fact. It can happen to a working parent too, of course it can.

And how many tails have we heard of poor elderly men who live on beans on toast because they never learned to cook for themselves? Or women who always let their husband do the driving and now find themselves stranded with no way to get anywhere

I've spoken to more than one older chap who's admitted that it was a steep learning curve when their wife passed away.

It's best all round that we all pitch in with everything in my opinion. If it works for you in some other way, then go for it, you too are allowed an opinion, but the only looking down the nose I see is coming from your direction, not mine.

tails! Tales obviously..

The reason that it isn't obvious why men don't do 50% of housework is because your opinion isn't actually taking account of anything but your own experience.

Your situation works for you...but, you are not all women.

It does not work for you because you gave birth, it works for you because it works for you as an individual and a family unit.

When I gave birth, I got a baby, there was no message with the baby from the supreme power of the universe that it also imbued me with sole responsibility for housework.

So if you're happy with your set up, why do you care if other people want a different one?

Your situation works for you...but, you are not all women.

And yet feminism wants to speak for all women. Hmm.

I say this again. Men used to put pressure on women to stay at home have babies and do all the housework. Now feminists put pressure on women to have a career, give their children to nurserys - oh, other women btw! - and refuse to do wifework.

just seems your swapping one lot of ppl interfereing with another lot.

Feminism doesn't put pressure on women, it support's the right of all people to do what they want, to have equality in all things. There is no pressure if you're free. Current society exerts the pressure.

*supports, sorry.