Well I've given all of this a great deal of thought over the time I have been engaging with feminism, that's no guarantee I have anything valuable to say but here goes anyway.
Initially I struggled acutely with this notion of patriarchy, not so much with wether it existed or not, but specifically with how it applied to me personally. I am undoubtedly privileged, and not only because I am a man, and I am no stranger to self examination. Yet something jarred in the back of my mind.
Ultimately it boils down to this simple fact: I am a man, but I am not a patriarch. Now I am not saying this to absolve myself of the social conditioning that I still possess, but I feel it's an important distinction.
I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiments expressed above that in terms of feminism I don't have the lived experiences that women have, how can I after all? However the reverse must also be true, that no woman has my male lived experiences either. It then also becomes difficult experientially at least to accurately define who has it worse. I would say objectively it's women, just by looking at the domestic violence, sexual violence, pay disparity, underrepresentation etc.
Enter now the MRA's who I would like to define, tentatively at least as men who have also suffered under patriarchy. Something trully sinister has then occured in that somehow we arrived at an illusionary adversarial relationship between feminists and MRAs. Patriarchy has pulled off a classic divide and conquer tactic, and are simply allowing it to fester and do all the hard work for them.
Feminists (or women in general) can't by definition be the root of all their ills, because as a class women are not represented adequatedly in the corridors of power, the boards of large companies and so on and so forth. As a short term measure it might be wise to become allied with feminism to dismantly patriarchy, because as a movement it has much more momentum and analysis behind it, as evidenced by this post I have had to fall back on personal thoughts and experiences and use I way more than usual.
I think men as a class (those who do not identify as patriarchs at least), need to start having a serious think about how the status quo has affected us, in the same way feminism has for generations. We kind of need our own lightbulb moments.