Female body hair / husband- help?

[wishfulthinking1]

Since the birth of my son I've considered feminist issues much more deeply- particularly inspired by 'hair:not the musical', I've begun considering hair removal as a choice- and have chosen not to at the the moment.

My lovely husband (and he really is lovely) is struggling with this- says he doesn't find it attractive / is embarrassed when we go swimming etc- he doesn't mean to be ignorant, but he's really struggling with it.

I'm trying to find something for him to read that could help him get his head around it. Most internet searches come up with articles along the lines of 'eww, gross, if your partner loved you, she'd shave blah blah'.

Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks

I guess I just don't understand this tendency on here to pretend that it doesn't matter how your partner looks and whether you find them attractive. To most couples in the real world I really think it does matter tbh.

It's an interesting thread to be resurrected imho.

I've always thought i shaved (legs and under arms) for me, but I'm not that sure when I think about it .

That said I hate it when DH doesn't shave his face to the extent I won't kiss him with 2 day stubble (I have eczema and it irritates my skin like mad - it's not an aesthetic issue so much, though I do prefer him clean shaven if I'm honest, but rather I don't want a week of having a face looking like my cleansing routine includes a Brillo pad).

I could stop shaving and tbh I'm pretty sure my DH wouldn't care too much - that said I'm fair skinned/hair and not overly hirsute anyway.

I'm not convinced it's making a "stand" not to shave, but I do think it should be a choice about what/when/how much hair removal you choose to do and I don't think being considerate of your partner is an irrelevance.

Its not really a feminists issue , although some feminists think its your husband perpetuating his control over you

Jo and I are feminists, I have never had any body hair (and was teased at school ) Jo has got quite a bit, I am cool if she shaves it or doesn't but we are lesbians ,and both versatile

remember burning your Bra , that was about men controlling women, , same with makeup , most feminists think women shouldn't wear makeup during the day at work , I don', t and have encouraged the girls at work not to wear makeup too ,

we have the most relaxed chambers in town ,

tell your husband he had better get used to it,

your husband is in the wrong , its clear control , start putting your foot down , its your body not his !

It's entirely your choice whether you shave but it's entirely your husband's choice whether he wants to stay with someone who he doesn't feel attracted to.

Ignoring for a moment the whole "women shave because we're programmed to build nests out of our own hair because birds do it with feathers, and also more women shave now than 50 years ago because empowerment" thing, because that was just silly and I'm embarrassed for the person who said it, on the idea that men walk around in the middle of summer in heavy trousers, leather shoes, and ties...I honestly can't remember the last time DH wore a tie, I think it was for a job interview. The actual job did not expect him to wear a tie because other than a few industries (law, finance, maybe a couple of others) that's not expected in many workplaces nowadays.

All the men I saw today were in shorts and sandals, because it's hot as balls. One bloke was in full length trousers, DH commented that he'd probably had to go in to work. No tie though because seriously, there are jobs other than lawyer and banker and maybe professional salesperson that men are allowed to hold.

Looking back through my posts, I've admittedly been a bit aggressive about this subject, so apologies. But I do genuinely find it a bit odd that so many people focus on the body hair aspect when almost everything we do is influenced by social conditioning.

I wouldn't be very happy if my partner decided to walk around in public with his shirt off, breaking wind and belching unashamedly, but it's only social conditioning that stops this behaviour.

I wouldn't be very happy if my partner decided to walk around in public with his shirt off, breaking wind and belching unashamedly, but it's only social conditioning that stops this behaviour.

Do you think it's not worth questioning rules that are specifically gendered, cause a lot of pain, hassle and waste of money to one sex specifically? The whole point of social conditioning is that you can alter it. Your daughter doesn't have to be ashamed to have hairy legs.

Your son doesn't have to want to puke because his girlfriend has pubes.

Also, burping, farting are considered anti social because they stink. They're not gendered. Your dh could walk around without a shirt and hardly anyone would bat an eye though.

I think social norms are very difficult to rebuff, and in many respects I CBA to be uncomfortable to wear special feminist badges. Sometimes I think it makes a mockery of feminism and reduces it to a mob/club where everyone has to think the same.

Shirtless men anywhere but the beach are, for want of a better word, icky.