Female body hair / husband- help?

[wishfulthinking1]

Since the birth of my son I've considered feminist issues much more deeply- particularly inspired by 'hair:not the musical', I've begun considering hair removal as a choice- and have chosen not to at the the moment.

My lovely husband (and he really is lovely) is struggling with this- says he doesn't find it attractive / is embarrassed when we go swimming etc- he doesn't mean to be ignorant, but he's really struggling with it.

I'm trying to find something for him to read that could help him get his head around it. Most internet searches come up with articles along the lines of 'eww, gross, if your partner loved you, she'd shave blah blah'.

Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks

Oh my god, Oh my god. My pelvic floor can't take it. That's BRILLIANT.

STOP TRYING TO MAKE VULVA HAPPEN

That actually made me chuckle. Especially "stop trying to make vulva happen"

i liked very much

"I’m old as dirt, and I can tell you: time will resolve this whole issue for you, sooner than you think. I have about four hairs left down there, and I’ve given them names."

Yes, I may try to make the link happen just as that Mitchell and Webb sketch always gets posted on threads about makeup and things.

And they say feminists have no sense of humour.

I don't like you attacking other women for their beliefs though

Yes I completely agree. So maybe all the "feminists" on here should stop being so aggressive in their tone when someone disagrees with them. Tbh, I never realised this thread was in the feminism section at first. I never venture in here for a reason. Never again.

Anyone who thinks they aren't affected by society when they choose to shave just watch the shower scene in the original Carrie, filled in 1976. Google the early pics of Madonna nude from the early 1980s, then wonder how we got to this stage only 30 years later.

That's too bad FB, you could use this section.

Bye

And stop using "feminists" in quotation marks. It makes you look ridiculous.

Fab, terraria

I rarely say this but on the Toast, I would recommend reading the comments. They can be just as or even more witty than the articles esp on this subject.

FuckOffFerret

Do stop snarling, dear, and grow up. You can always come back when you have.

Yes, dear?

Liara, so men are required and conditioned to remove facial hair but women are totally free to do as they please? Conditioning only works on men?

Sorry, went off yesterday and didn't see your post, Callindana.

No, of course not. Everyone is conditioned by society's habit of jumping to conclusions about people based on minor aspects of their appearance/what they choose to do with their body.

I was just suggesting to the OP that she can discuss with her husband conditioning on a wider basis, in both men and women, with hair removal but an instantiation of it, to help get around the gut reaction he is getting.

Is all.

You're really not doing any favours to "feminists" with your condescending attitude ladies. Stop being so angry and aggressive. Cliched as it sounds, women really are their own worst enemy aren't they? When you can't even hold a civilised discussion without the bitchy and patronising remarks when someone disagrees with you.

If you really want other people to agree or see things your way, perhaps learn how to talk to people in a non derogatory manner.

Says the poster whose first post called the OP's thoughts "utterly and completely daft". And obviously calling us all 'ladies' isn't meant to be at all derogatory .

Disagreeing with you is derogatory, condescending, angry and aggressive is it now? Seems someone has issues with being challenged.

You've deffo risen above it all by calling everyone who disagreed with you "bitchy" fakebook

You see FB we aren't a homogeneous mass. Are you really put off feminism (the movement by which you now have the vote and a whole host of other rights) all because you think a few feminists are being mean to you on the internet?

And no, women saying that your thought process might be wrong (because, science) is not "being woman's own worst enemy". If you knew anything about feminism you'd know how wrong you are.

Also please explain your use of quotes around feminism. Do you understand the word?

Fakebook I'm curious do you not ass yourself to have any feminist views at all?

"with your condescending attitude ladies. "

Oh bollocks, ANOTHER irony-meter bites the dust!

No idea why my phone posted "ass" yourself, as amusing as that sounds. It was supposed to say do you not consider yourself to have any feminist views.

As a man I think he should shave himself if he wants and respect what you want to do with your own body.

Oh my word!

The only person who has spoken to anyone on this thread in a violent, aggressive, snarly, derogatory manner is you, FB. You have done it from your first post.

We're not being nasty to you sweets, we're laughing at you. Shaking our heads with wry grins on our faces at your inability to see what you're doing, your utter lack of insight.

Sucks to be you.

This smoothness business. I like the smoothness too. But this 'shaving purely because it's nice to be smooth and no, it is NOTHING TO DO WITH FEMINISM' just seems odd, in that OF COURSE there might be benefits or enjoyable things about a process that is fundamentally a bit dodgy. I mean, there are many things in the world that are dodgy and also pleasant. The one doesn't negate the other.

OF COURSE it is possible for a woman to remove hair because she enjoys it. It is entirely possible for that woman to be a feminist and it is entirely possible for that woman to even be totally immune to the whole hairlessness pressure thing and really truly shave solely because she likes the feeling of smooth skin.

But that DOESNT MEAN THE HAIRLESSNESS THING DOESN'T EXIST. It does. It ruddy does. We all know it and frankly it just seems utterly, utterly mad to pretend it doesn't. And I DO admire women who push back against that, because I doubt very much that a woman with exposed hairy pits isn't going to have at least one and likely more than one person comment negatively on it, with that negative comment not being based on a genderless idea of cleanliness or tidiness, but with the idea that FOR A WOMAN it's not ok to have hairy pits. And for me that's enough to make it worth questioning, and worth pushing against.

OP, I don't know what to tell your husband. Also: I shave. So I have no solution. But this debate about whether or not it's A Thing is just bats.

Terra - that link is brilliant.

This thread has a certain 'bingo' element to it, unsurprisingly.

I shave the minimum I can get away with, and am aware that when I do it is entirely to 'fit in', and because of the expectations of society.

And I hate that I do.