How women act differently in the presence of men

[msrisotto]

This was discussed briefly on a trans thread. I read it a couple of weeks ago and it has played on my mind since.

I'd like it if people could share their experiences of this. Before reading it, I didn't think being in the presence of men changed anything about me and other females but thinking about it more....it does. Examples:

When I have 'the girls' over for dinner or something, I hint heavily that DH goes to the cinema or out to see friends too. He does. Why do I do this? Him being in the house changes the topics we talk about, how raucous we become etc etc

When I spend time with my sister, I try to make it an activity that excludes her husband (and mine tbf). Things are different when he's there, she's different and I assume I am too.

In a work context - I work in a female dominated field. When meetings are female only they are completely different to when there are any men in them. I watch my colleagues (women) look to the men to respond to questions and topics that they are more than qualified to take the lead on themselves. And I always see the men talking over the women.

Have you noticed this?

I am mostly in very female dominated environments because I am a SAHM.

I don't think I feel any different with the dads at school than with the mums. I have the same types of conversations with both genders, ie mostly about our kids, also about spouses and work/family balance etc.

I find both genders equally friendly and unthreatening. I don't feel I need to censor my conversations around the men. If they're not interested in hair or body weight etc they'll walk away!

But in my 20s I worked in a very male-dominated environment and suffered lots of sexual harassment. The young women were very much objectified ..,

Dunno what my point is, maybe men act differently where there are lots of other men around. Maybe women act differently. Maybe the work environment is still seen as a more male place.

My dc are still young (8 or under) but I do feel depressed that there still seem to be so many gender differences focused on in school and by parents. I also feel depressed at things I read on MN about secondary school and attitudes of teens.

Still I do my best not to push gender differences on my 2 boys and girl and dh and I try to model an equal relationship .

I worked with a woman who would openly talk about her sexlife in front of other women and 'fawn' whenever a man came into a room 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Zombie thread - it's over ten years old! Where did you dig it up from?

Spooky!

.

Exactly, co-ed is thought to socialise boys better, even though girls suffer academically. That's one of the rationals of co-education.
Have just realised one of my favourite childhood books actually states the absence of women means the young men are not civilized properly - as if women are sort of teacher-props to young men rather than people in their own right! (It's Majorie Phillips 'Two of Red and Two of Blue'.)

I've taught in co-ed schools and in a girls single sex school. Overwhelmingly the girls behave very differently in a single sex school. They are much more comfortable, not particularly concerned about their appearance and more outspoken.

I had high school in a single sex school and I loved it. The freedom in the absence of boys to learn and question was valuable.

I do find in women only spaces as I get much older the topics we discuss relating to our biology are not topics we generally are comfortable discussing when men are present. I am much more relaxed in female only company. But this has come for me only as I get into middle age, when I was in my 20s and into my 30s I didn't recognise the differences and didn't seek out women only spaces and groups so much. I think with age and healing from trauma I recognise the value in them more.

I can't wait until the women only app, Giggle for Girls (unfortunate name though) is available. Then I can go to an online space that really is women only and get the friendship and support I want.

https://magazine.punch.co.uk/image/I0000BaPhg4sVCD4

maybe someone has already posted this, but just in case...