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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

5 questions for people who advocate legal prostitution

288 replies

AskBasil · 25/08/2014 10:23

genderdetective.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/five-questions-for-people-who-advocate-legalizing-prostitution/

Made me fink

OP posts:
migsymoo · 02/09/2014 23:34

Just managed to pop on quickly. No I don't give him 40% but since I'm the only one working I pay the bills and do the food shop and stuff. As for him being a gay prostitute, that's a bit much since he's not gay. He stays in the flat partly because he doesn't work and can't hang round his mates all day, and also because I told him I'm not happy working alone, so it made sense for him to stay at home.

FloraFox · 02/09/2014 23:39

Do you fancy the men old enough to be your grandad? Do you want to have anal sex with them? Isn't that a bit much? It makes sense for him to be fully supported by you and to suck up the cash you could be saving to do your course. Did this all come about after your previous posts where you were thinking about leaving him and going to stay with a friend? Now here he is living with you and you're still supporting him. migsy you could do a lot better than this creep.

scallopsrgreat · 03/09/2014 00:10

migsy, seriously, think about why he is watching over you. Is it really for your safety? Because if it was there are plenty of other things he could do to ensure your safety. Like get a job so you didn't have to put yourself at risk.

And now, instead of having access to 40% of your income he has access to 100% of it. And still doesn't have to work.

You are taking all the risks here. Why would someone who cares about you want that to be the case?

JustTheRightBullets · 03/09/2014 06:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 03/09/2014 07:47

It would be a "bit much"? What to expect him to do what you do? Genuinely how many of the men that pay to fuck you would you want to have sex with if they weren't paying? Whats tthe difference? No one expects a man to have sex with someone they don't want to. If you're attempting in anyway to prove prostitution isn't a horrible situation to find your self in, you're failing miserably and I hope you see that soon

AskBasil · 03/09/2014 08:13

Why would it be a bit much for him but it's not a bit much for you?

If prostitution is so equal and empowerfulising, he could stipulate what he was prepared to do sexually so that he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want and of course his punters would respect the boundaries he laid down, wouldn't they.

OP posts:
WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 03/09/2014 08:52

Why can't he do webcam work, he wouldn't have to touch any men then? Just expose his body for other people's entertainment

migsymoo · 03/09/2014 09:22

I see what your saying about men having sex with other men for cash, i know for a fact he wouldn't do it. But when I am with a client it's not a million miles away from 'normal' heterosexual sex soil find it hard to compare it. No I don't want to have sex with my clients but I do have sex with them because they pay me to. We got together a few months back and things have been ok between us and I'm feeling better in myself. I know I need to stop doing this, it's just that I need to find the right time without taking on more debt.

FloraFox · 03/09/2014 09:36

migsy you said before that you had debt to pay to this man. Is that still the case? Did he say you could forget about that now that you are together and you are completely supporting him?

BriarRainbowshimmer · 03/09/2014 13:34

Welcome back migsy. I remember you and have been wondering how you were doing. It worries me that your "friend" has even more control over your situation now.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 03/09/2014 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

migsymoo · 03/09/2014 14:07

He said that we'll sort the debt together. He is looking for work though but like other people are finding it, it's really tough. It's a grim situation round here when it comes to jobs.

CaptChaos · 03/09/2014 14:14

I'll bet it is.

I'm really sorry you're in this position. I'm sorry it hasn't changed for the better.

migsymoo · 03/09/2014 14:46

Hi briar, and buffy I don't know what clients would do, i suppose they'd have affairs or if they're single try and get sex in the conventional was like going on the pull. Clients see paying for sex as a convenience and I don't know what they'd do with their need to have it randomly during the day. It's a good question that's really hard to answer.

grimbletart · 03/09/2014 14:55

I don't know what they'd do with their need to have it randomly during the day.

Don't get the "need" and the "randomly" bit Migsy. Do they explode if they don't get it and implode if it isn't random or what?

And I still don't get why it is OK for you to have sex when you don't want it, but apparently unthinkable for him. Not being gay is not an excuse. After all, there are lesbian prostitutes who have sex with men, so what is the difference?

You sound far too intelligent Migsy to be taken for the fool that this guy is obviously taking you for.

migsymoo · 03/09/2014 15:11

Often they will talk to me about why they're here, it's almost like they need to explain themselves, and I here alot about their need to have sex or they get horny during the day and their partner isn't interested anymore in that department so they have to pay for it. And I really don't feel intelligent right now. I've known him for so long now, I know that once the stuff in our lives gets sorted we can look forward to a better future. He's also the dad to my baby so I'm glad my child will grow up with two parents who are together now and not just friends who occasionally slept together.

grimbletart · 03/09/2014 15:18

Migsy Smile. Take care.

Sounds like a lot of your clients are trying to rationalise their behaviour. Not surprising. If they had even half a conscience they should be feeling guilt, shame and embarrassment at having sex with a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you.

BrewsterToo · 03/09/2014 16:23

I think that someone who demands/expects that you accept having unpleasant and invasive things done to you that he would never even contemplate doing himself, shows how he doesn't see you as an equal partner in the relationship. He is too good for prostitution but you are not.

You feel better because he's listened to your concerns about working alone, and you feel better because your child has a father figure, and you may even feel "needed" because you're now providing not just for you and your child, but also for him which is a nice feeling, but you are still being used Migsy. Perhaps even to a greater extent than before, because you're now not just financially tied to him, but also emotionally.

I am glad you feel slightly better about the situation, but you can do much better than this, and him!

BrewsterToo · 03/09/2014 16:25

"doing himself" should be "having done to himself" of course

FloraFox · 03/09/2014 18:04

migsy do you want your son to grow up and find a woman (or women) who he can pimp out to other men while he lives off her and doesn't work? Why do you think it is a good thing for your child to grow up with your relationship as his model?

migsymoo · 04/09/2014 13:10

No I wouldn't be happy if he was like or a punter but I hope to have stopped before he is old enough to know what's going on.

FloraFox · 04/09/2014 17:14

Thanks and Brew migsy

wazedak · 10/09/2014 02:49

Don't you just love it how feminists act like they know more about sexwork than actual sexworkers with experience?

LurcioAgain · 10/09/2014 08:00

Don't you love it when punters come on here and tell us how to do feminism?

FloraFox · 10/09/2014 12:56

Or tell us how much we know or don't know about prostitution?