Lapdancing and telling off dh's mate.

[Manchesterhistorygirl]

I blame you lot. Thanks.

Last night dh's friend was telling him all about his recent visit to a lap dancing bar. I told him he and his mates were a bunch of twats and I was disgusted at them all, especially since they all have partners.

I also told dh if I ever found out he'd done the same it'd be the absolute last thing he ever did.

So my nest of vipers, thank you for giving me the confidence to handle a situation I've always found disgusting, but wouldn't have ever spoken out about until I joined here.

Beach - you don't have to report me to me.

And he still won't put a sock in it.

Disclaimer - the above is a figure of speech. I am not threatening any posters with actually tracking them down and attempting to silence them with socks.

"I don't know her and it sound manipulative to me and possibly abusive." The fact that you keep saying this, repeatedly, in so many posts is unnecessary. Not sure why you keep saying it. Everyone knows how you feel. They just don't agree with you.

Sorry scallop. I was asked to explain by Buffy. I won't say it again

You'd laugh if it wasn't so sad.

Pore old YoGurtBale.

Buffy - I have all the respect for everyone on here. I am not arguing with your opinions or trying to pick at them. I'm very pleased to hear other views.

I understand that my opinion may not be good for the OP to hear and I admit maybe some of my language may have not been spot on. But if you post on a public forum then expect many different views.
If you openly talk about going to strip bars, being racist, talking about a relationship on a forum then expect views. And other posters expect different views too.

I agree that bale has personally attacked the op, beach.

But you aren't talking about the what the thread was supposed to be about. You are continually calling the OP abusive and manipulative.

If you don't think your opinion is god for the OP to hear, why are you giving it

Scallop - it is what it's about. The long and short of was I told the mate, then I told my husband.

Buffy - that's fine. I get your opinion. Post about whatever you want to.

No it wasn't yougotbale. It was about the OP having found the confidence to stand up for herself and set boundaries, because of FWR. Not to insult and gaslight her.

Scallop - so the confidence bit was telling the mate, the boundary setting was telling the husband??

Work it out for yourself.

Manchesterhistorygirl. Thank you for this thread.

I think what happens on here is brilliant. Lots of us have gained confidence from MN in general (not just FWR) to speak out about things. When women come together and share experiences and stand up for each other and our common values and experiences, it really creates something strong.

And we won't be quiet and be intimidated and be gaslighted and silenced. Strength in numbers.

Scallop - sorry I meant that's basically what I said ????

No, baley - that isn't what you said. You called her abusive and controlling - that's what we're all arguing against.

Sab - not that. I'm talking about my description of the original post.
I'm so glad bale is injured

Stop trying to gaslight, baley. It won't work.

I'm not gaslighting.

£85 mill. We won again in Europe. No bale but a stronger squad

Well, no, you're not succeeding to gaslight us- because we're not having any of it and can see right through you. (disclaimer - not literally - I can't see you, and even if I could, I'm sure you're not actually transparent).

I wonder if MN would do a gaslighting emoticon

There are two derailments on this thread.

I agree that the OPs phrasing was a figure of speech, and if it wasn't, I'll eat my hat. (I won't really, this is a figure of speech too)

Anyone saying otherwise is either a bit silly to take things litterally or is being naughty.

However, people telling OP that she should have acted with a bit more tact, are not saying women should STFU. It is not a sexism issue. The same advice would/should be given to a man who embarrasses himself and his partner by ranting on an issue, thereby silencing debate and creating a mood.

There was a post above about someone using prostitutes. That's different to lap dancing in my opinion in terms of legality. It's up to you where you draw the line of course, but sometimes its better to not say anything, ESP if no one has broken the law.

Sab - you are not gaslighting now are you? Or is it a form of goading. Maybe a combo.