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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Join me, if you will, in envisaging the feminist pub

307 replies

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 17/09/2013 14:35

Inspired by the obvious thread, I feel we need a fictional pub that's as the same sort of mecca for feminists. The antidote to the classic sexist bloke pub, where the floor is sticky and you can't get to the bar without pushing past three Important Regulars peering at your boobs and making blonde jokes, while the barman asks 'are you sure' when you order real ale and the beer for ladies comes in comedy funny-shaped pint glasses for our wee delicate hands.

In the feminist pub, I want to outlaw stupid jokes, obviously. But I also think the bar needs to be at a height that doesn't put my boobs on pint-level for every bloke there. And I would like it if there were etiquette that, when you've got your pint, you don't sit chatting to the barman and taking up space, you move away (I have never seen a woman sit on the edge of a bar, alone).

And I fancy copies of classics like 'Letters from a fainthearted feminist' standing about dog-earned on the bookcases, in place of old back issues of Spectator or random leather-bound books by dead white men.

Shall I apply for a pub lease then? And what else do we want in the feminist pub?

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Sheshelob · 20/09/2013 22:39

Lynette

I think the point at which you are taking offence at people dissing the endemic piss-soaked pub toilet is when you need to hang up your hat.

garlicbaguette · 20/09/2013 22:40

I deploy my "expressive face" towards anti-woman wafflers and men making cracks about the wife :) I am proud of my expressive face.

I made several strong complaints about the naked-woman-reveal nut displays. Have they stopped them yet?

kim147 · 20/09/2013 22:42

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Sheshelob · 20/09/2013 22:44

Innit.

Can we have an extra tall one, as I am both extremely tall and quite often in need of a conversational hat hanging?

garlicbaguette · 20/09/2013 22:45

Grin and wheelchair/double buggy access!

kim147 · 20/09/2013 22:47

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Sheshelob · 20/09/2013 22:54

Can I also suggest a Bloom jar, where people caught telling crap/racist/sexist/homophobic jokes have to put a fiver per "hilarious" outburst?

kim147 · 20/09/2013 22:54

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LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 20/09/2013 23:09

yego - well done to your DD.

She will remember you saying that later on. At least you're saying it and she will know later on you were right behind her.

Definitely think a wheelchair-accessible bar is important. In fact, low enough for that would be sensible - someone said earlier on the reason it is high is to stop people jumping over it (?!). If so, then in the feminist pub it can be much lower. And tall folks can lean on a taller counter where the beer is poured, but the drinks can be put out at table height.

lyn - we had a special area for chatting up. It was going to be better than death stares. Perhaps with telepathy to tell you whether or not the person you fancied liked you without all the awkward preliminaries. See, how awesome would that be?

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ModeratelyObvious · 20/09/2013 23:13

Can we put a soap dispenser by each basin and not just one at the side?

(Happy for this to apply in all sets of toilets)

garlicbaguette · 20/09/2013 23:15

I'm being really slow tonight - I've only just summarised Lynette's contribution. It went "I'm not a feminist, but I don't want to go to the Feminist Pub." Erm, well no, you wouldn't, would you?

That's like me saying a pub that specialises in huge-screen live feeds of rugby matches is anti-women. It may well not be, but I'm not a rugby fan so I'm in the wrong pub!

I must learn to stop replying to straw men/women ... !

Ooh, can we have one of those in reception?

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 20/09/2013 23:49

I think a straw man in reception would be perfect. Grin

mod - oh, god yes. And they need to be magic soap dispensers that never run out, or, at least, the kind that you can see when they run out so the management can see to replace them quickly.

Also, plenty of loo roll. God knows what happens to loo roll in a busy pub, but I do know I get a wonderful sense of security in the kind of posh pub that has spares on the ledge behind the loo.

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OpheliaMonarch · 21/09/2013 00:27

We definitely need hard chairs of misandry.

manboobz.com/2012/03/16/tom-martins-anti-male-discrimination-case-against-the-london-school-of-economics-dismissed-he-responds-by-calling-his-critics-whores/comment-page-4/

That way all the smelly men would have to leave when their balls started aching.

I think I speak for the homogenous whole that is feminism when I say all men smell whiffy poo!

(I definitely link too much to Manboobz, but it's just so fabulous, and I spend a lot of time lurking over there.)

Back to feminist pub:

As all feminists are withered old hags, we clearly need moisturiser next to the herbal hand soap, especially the kind made from male baby foreskins.

mr-cappadocia.tumblr.com/post/55311635256/now-we-know-why-feminists-are-so-pro-circumcision

That's right ladies* the feminist gynocracy has finally won, we control the face cream and chair market, next step, every pub in Britain

Oo, oo, one more thing, feminist pub must have kitties, purring fluffy love :)

  • N.B. There is no such thing as a male feminist, they're just mangina white knights angling to get laid.
garlicbaguette · 21/09/2013 01:06

WTF was that idiot doing studying for a master’s degree in gender, media and culture? Did he actually expect it to be about one gender only (his) or was he pursuing MRA fame from the beginning? Weird. Takes all sorts, hmm?

I'm sitting on a hard chair right now. It's made my fanjo go numb. Does this mean my fanjo is a man?

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 23/09/2013 20:49

Well, I believe kim and I have discovered the (temporarily) feminist pub, and very nice it was too! Grin

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kim147 · 23/09/2013 20:54

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LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 23/09/2013 20:56

It's true. We really let the side down, there was no hating of men at all, and we were not bitter.

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yegodsandlittlefishes · 23/09/2013 21:21

Did you drink bitter?

AmandaPandtheNightmareMonsters · 23/09/2013 21:32

In Real Life?

kim147 · 23/09/2013 21:35

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LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 23/09/2013 21:42

We did not drink bitter. Sad

We fail as feminists.

We did drink lots of coffee, though, and it was good coffee. So there is that. Smile

We think perhaps the feminist pub needs to be in a city with a cathedral and city walls, though. For the aesthetics. And near a river.

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yegodsandlittlefishes · 23/09/2013 22:56

Grin an actual pub with actual good coffee? Where would I find such a utopia?

Oh, cathedral? City walls? Are we talking up north?

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 23/09/2013 23:08

Not really, no. We're lying (or rather, I'm lying).

It's a rather nice bar, but not really a pub.

And we just fancied city walls and cathedrals.

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kim147 · 23/09/2013 23:10

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garlicbaguette · 24/09/2013 01:42

Awww :) Two scary feministy MN vipers met up for coffee on a sunny day. The End.

I want to be disappointed about your utter failure to do Man-Hating but I can't, I'm feeling too soppy.

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