Fucking hell, Nigella picture, WTF? [includes links to upsetting images]

[BoffinMum]

twitter.com/suttonnick/status/346017840106704898/photo/1

Tomorrow's Sunday People cover. Where do we even start with this?

interesting, lesser. certainly i heard rumours (before he achieved sanctity) that it was not a straightforward relationship. hey ho.

Nigella, if you are reading this (and you might well be)

Leave him, he is an abuser and whatever he says you did to cause him to attack you is bollocks

just go, and never go back

I really hope she can get out. I'm horrified by those photos but not hugely surprised - I have read similar things to lots of you about CS refusing to eat her cooking and 'ordering' her to cover her cleavage on nights out. What a total pig. I am a DV survivor myself and I recognise the terror and horror in her face. Sending her love and strength tonight.

Oh god Anyfucker I hope she is reading this. And I hope other women who recognise this shitty scenario are too.

My ex used to love the public/restaurant humiliation. It was horrendous to be treated like this in public. it was surreal. I'd get home and think did that even happen, because he'd just switch back to normal chat and I'd not even know what I'd done wrong.

I'm glad she's got these pictures. There's no pretending. Nigella!! LTB!

What worries me as others have said, is that those paps couldn't wait to get those pictures onto a front page. No consideration for the victim, the public humiliation, who knows what he did / does to her behind closed doors.

Scotts smoking area is right on a busy street with loads of thoroughfare and pedestrians. I am shocked he did that in front of the obviously watching public.

What's even more sad is that she tried to kiss, calm and appease him. This is clearly not the first time. Poor lady.

Oh and by the way - those of you tying yourselves in knots trying to make excuses along the lines of swollen glands etc really need to take a big breath and step back. Do you have any idea just how common DV is? A violent deliberate assault is by far the most likely explanation. Just look at those photos. Look at her face and try to put yourself in her shoes.

I suppose when someone cares very much what people think of him, and has to prove his own tastes to be above critique, he will find having a partner a bit of a threat, because he thinks he owns her like a piece of coveted artwork, and perhaps she might show him up' or 'let him down' by behaving like a normal, lovely human being.

And he thinks he can do what he likes to her, on that basis too.

Just speculation. But that isn't love.

According to daily mail , which I can't link, she's left him.

rooney when he brought out his book he was quoted as having said 'what's the point of having a wife that others don't covet?' or words to that effect. he's ALL about ownership, i think.

It says they have both left the house, that is all.

She had a suitcase. Am I being too hopeful?

She may just have gone away for a bit. Hideous situation - abused by your husband and your whole family, kids, friends and the rest of the newspaper reading world know. But that's his fault not hers.

Maybe everyone knowing about it is a blessing in disguise? Nothing for the bastard to hide behind now, and plenty of support from friends and family for her (I'm guessing they might have had their suspicions before now)

That's what I'd hope but it's still horrible. We look at the pictures and see abuse, see her fear and it's very simple to us isn't it? But for her - ten years of marriage, lots of good times I'm sure - she's looking at pictures of the man she loves or loves abusing her. That's truly terrible.

:(

is a very good TED talk about domestic violence and the difficulty of leaving.

Just watched newspaper review on Sky. Lots of blank spaces next to text about Nigella. Why?

Oh Lord Maybe Saatchi has his lawyers on the case?

Wow. I had this for years, years. My ex was a very respectable lawyer/author, on the outside. At home he was like that, and an alcoholic, insanely possessive controlling madman. In fact, yes, even in public he hit me. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, leaving, but the best thing too. He justified everything, still does, he seems to believe it himself. I left my good job am now a poverty stricken full time student, with a 3 year old DS, my ex doesn't know where we live and doesn't ever see our son. But I am no longer treading on eggshells or scared, no longer hiding my injuries from colleagues, no longer permanently defending my actions. Reasoning with my ex was like trying to teach latin to a guinea pig. It wasn't possible to reason as in his mind it was all fine. I really hope the media are respectful to Nigella and she takes this as a wake up call and her window to get out. We all love Nigella, nobody should ever be treated like that. No matter how things are or what caused it. Never ever ever ok.

According to the Daily Mirror those pictures were taken June 9th, she hasn't made a complaint to the police, she didn't leave after it happened. It seems like that's just normal behaviour for him, which makes it a hundred times worse.

I think there are two lots of pictures - the ones showing him with his hand over her mouth, which certainly were taken earlier in the year, and then the more recently published ones where he has his hands around her throat.

When they say June 9th, they mean the more recent ones, with his hand round her throat. I think the others are from Nov/Dec last year.

I wonder why they waited a week to publish them?

This is a very good piece in the Telegraph.

Well done for getting out Calfecito

Lots of people have mentioned why people do not intervene.

Here is a story about intervention into public domestic violence -

1. My sister was at university and got engaged to her boyfriend who she loved without a doubt.

However, at a pub one evening her boyfriend hit her out of the blue. Thank god another person intervened. It was another guy from university that she only knew from the gym.

This guy - drove her to my sisters and told her on the way about how his mum and him were a victim of domestic violence and she had to get out of this relationship - even if it was the first time her boyfriend had been nasty. She was dropped off at my sisters, my brother who then lived 3 hours away drove up and collected all her belongings and moved her stuff out of the flat she shared with her boyfriend.
Then the flowers and gifts would be sent by her ex to my sisters house - and my sister was on to this and just collected them without my sister knowing.

I often wonder if people had not sprung to action to make it clear that his behaviour was completely wrong whether she would still be with him.

That piece is great; thanks for posting the link MadBusLady. It's by Anna Maxted who I've always liked.

Hopefully it will do some good for others to see that DV isn't their fault because they're not pretty/organised/sexy/superwife, because if it happens to Nigella it can happen to anyone.