Isn't the name of Mumsnet itself sexist?

[MissPeach]

The Mumsnet slogan is 'By parents for parents', suggesting that it is of course, for mothers and fathers. Yet the name Mumsnet would suggest otherwise. It suggests that the forum is only for women, which in turn conveys the idea that women do more parenting than men.

To be honest, it doesn't irk me that much, but it was just a thought I randomly had, and was wondering other opinions on it.

Here's the bit of Mumsnet specifically for Dads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/dadsnet

Maybe that will help?

Wouldn’t. Parent net be more inclusive? Someone was talking about how women have things so hard and men are privileged. I commented highlighting that there is 1 male every 2 hours in the U.K. killing themselves, highlighting that men have never been privileged.

So if I have a group called “mansnet” or “dadsnet” would that make you feel more included and likely to join or less? I think we all no that the name “mumsnet” is not inclusive.

Sounds like a great idea.

Why don't you start up ParentsNet? Nobody is stopping you.

I am sure there's a tech savvy man out there somewhere who could create a parenting site that's more aimed at men than this one.

Or do you think they need women to set it up for them?

I'm sure Parentsnet will be a great hit. Best of luck Papple.

@Pappleapple

So if I have a group called “mansnet” or “dadsnet” would that make you feel more included and likely to join or less? I think we all no that the name “mumsnet” is not inclusive.

We're allowed spaces to ourselves, there's plenty of spaces that have been, and continue to be male spaces. Whether overtly or not. I take it you've approached some male only places to ask for more inclusivity too...

If you really do want to talk about reducing male suicide then charities like CALM do great work, and they have loads of ways you can help here - www.thecalmzone.net/get-involved/take-action/

Yes, I have actually. A lot of men and male groups are disappearing because a lot of men want true equality. However we area now seeing a lot of women seeing this as a threat as they know that true equality means that women will loose some of their hidden privileges that they have had for some time. I don’t agree with divisional gender groups regardless of gender. We are people and should work together.

I think we all no that the name “mumsnet” is not inclusive

Why does it have to be inclusive? Is netmums an inclusive name? Do fora that deal with specific issues around race, religion, disability, sexuality have to name themselves to be inclusive of people who don't fit into the demographic they are serving?

Or, as I suspect, is it only this forum you are intent on berating regarding their name and their supposed lack of inclusivity? The agenda you and other posters who have posted on this thread bewailing the lack of inclusion by the mean feminists, women and mums on Mumsnet can be seen for what it is from outer space.

Men do not need to be and should not be included in absolutely everything, women are entitled to their own thoughts and spaces to discuss them without centring or having to listen to the views of owners of the mighty penis.

It’s the internet, call whatever site you want, whatever you want to call it. If it finds its niche it will do well.

There isn’t really a way to win on this point. Either you have the name Mumsnet, and you open up the possibility that it’s reinforcing gender stereotypes through sexism. Conversely you name it Parentsnet and you erase the much larger contributions women are still making in the sphere of parenting, also sexism.

You can’t have it both ways, so I’d be inclined to give them a little good faith on this point. I’m a Dad and been posting here for many years, and for what it’s worth haven’t found it an especially unwelcoming place for Dads.

@Pappleapple

Yes, I have actually. A lot of men and male groups are disappearing because a lot of men want true equality. However we area now seeing a lot of women seeing this as a threat as they know that true equality means that women will loose some of their hidden privileges that they have had for some time. I don’t agree with divisional gender groups regardless of gender. We are people and should work together.

What an utter load of tosh.

@Pappleapple If we want to reduce the suicide rate we have to tackle the known risk factors, and among the top 3 are depression, being a victim of violence, and being a victim of child sexual abuse.

Women attempt suicide at the same rate of men but tend to be less successful as we use less violent methods.
Many women attempt suicide within 24 hours of being the victims of domestic violence.

www.bbc.com/future/article/20190313-why-more-men-kill-themselves-than-women

I'd love to hear more about my hidden priveledges ... what exactly are they ?

@Pappleapple

Yes, I have actually. A lot of men and male groups are disappearing because a lot of men want true equality. However we area now seeing a lot of women seeing this as a threat as they know that true equality means that women will loose some of their hidden privileges that they have had for some time. I don’t agree with divisional gender groups regardless of gender. We are people and should work together.

"Should work together", and you are doing this by, checks notes, complaining that a site primarily used by mums uses the word mum in the title?

I'd love to hear more about my hidden priveledges ... what exactly are they? Me too, midgebabe, they must be extremely well hidden because I'm really struggling to find them.

@Pappleapple Sat 05-Dec-20 11:54:23
Yes, I have actually. A lot of men and male groups are disappearing because a lot of men want true equality.

Can you name 3?

We are working together. Men, dads, all sorts of males post here. Even on feminism chat. It's just the site title isn't the Male default. You know how most things are male default, football and women's football, bikes and women's bikes ...

Maybe hidden privilege is code for vagina.

Thing is Pappleapple I don't know if you have noticed during your exploration of inequalities on social media forums in general, but there are not many sites that women (and men) but primarily women can share experience, advice and information or just generally chat without men derailed, minimising or down right abusing us.
The internet can be a horrible place for women but Mumsnet is one place where women are in the majority and I think that's really important for us.

Yes, exactly the same as women continuously complaint about men groups and I agree with them. See, there’s those that want change and equality and those angry creed that want to keep things as they are because they know they are benefiting. I don’t need to try and argue. The more and more time goes on the more obvious it is for all people that some people don’t want to change. But it will.

Pappleapple may I ask you why you resurrected this thread from 7 years ago?

(How did you even find it!)

Ok I’ll rephrase it. I don’t have the time to look am right now. Men are not starting their own groups based on gender only however women are. There are women only gyms, women only swimming pools, women only charities, 90% of teachers are women, CAFASS is mostly women, Child services is nearly 100% women, recruiters are nearly 100% women. So you see, all of the underpinning parts of society with the most influence on society is all women. Cancer research U.K. has only just bowed to Leah all pressure as they wouldn’t allow men to run with women and there are more and more women only charities. There are just as many men that suffer with abuse but don’t report it as we have a very bias system. So anyway, I have a question. Why have “mumsnet” and not just a “parentnet” that includes everyone? One question, that’s all I’m asking. Thanks

Why have “mumsnet” and not just a “parentnet” that includes everyone?

Because this is a business. Not a public, taxpayer funded resource. A business, with a Unique Selling Point (USP) that it was a forum aimed at British mothers.

The rest of the internet is very male dominated, to the extent that I use unisex usernames on all orher social media, to avoid getting sent sexual messages. I love mumsnet because I can use a female nickname and not have that happen.

The name mumsnet brings me and other women here, and then advertisers pay the founders money to reach my demographic as an audience.

If you think parentsnet would be a successful business, you need to approach your bank for a small business loan and set it up.

I do find the fact that there is feminist section on here does make it a site that men do not find inviting.

The feminists section even existing is a problem for (some) men?!

I don't really get this. Why not just..stay out of that section if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I don't use loads of areas on here, easy enough done really.

I see also the 'man hating feminists' trope a little further dwn. Same shit different day.

I don't see a issue with the name. It started by mums, for mums I think, and evolved to be for parents instead of just mums. I know a few men on here and none of them mind it being called mumsnet, and they also have no issue with it being a primarily female space. That part of it is why I love it so much actually, so rare..ad very very different to male dominated spaces.