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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Isn't the name of Mumsnet itself sexist?

313 replies

MissPeach · 09/05/2013 16:17

The Mumsnet slogan is 'By parents for parents', suggesting that it is of course, for mothers and fathers. Yet the name Mumsnet would suggest otherwise. It suggests that the forum is only for women, which in turn conveys the idea that women do more parenting than men.

To be honest, it doesn't irk me that much, but it was just a thought I randomly had, and was wondering other opinions on it.

OP posts:
PotholeParadies · 05/12/2020 14:44

We've got a 'multicultural families' section and a 'black mumsnetters' section for specialised discussion, too.

Shall we get rid of those because their presence makes racists too uncomfortable to join the website?

ErrolTheDragon · 05/12/2020 14:47
  • Because this is a business. Not a public, taxpayer funded resource. A business, with a Unique Selling Point (USP) that it was a forum aimed at British mothers.

The fact that MN outgrew its origins and now is (a) a website for all parents (b) also a website for people with no children, with boards covering many issues - parenting, women's issues, education but also many other topics - clearly demonstrates that it is 'inclusive' to anyone with enough sense not to be put off by a label.

If the name acts as a bit of a filter so that the men who post here tend to be sensible, non-misogynistic blokes (dervel upthread is one of many examples) then given the vast preponderance of male dominated, sexist websites available on the internet then frankly I can only see that as a good thing.

Stay or go, your choice.

VulvaPerson · 05/12/2020 14:50

And yes intelligent people can choose to swear, they just chose not to!

Just got to this gem. Grin Of course those who are intelligent chose not to swear. Its only the lowest of the low who swear right?!?!?!

ErrolTheDragon · 05/12/2020 14:51

Men are not starting their own groups based on gender only however women are.

Because they don't need to, they're the default human.Hmm

CatsCantCatchCriminals2 · 05/12/2020 14:54

It's Saturday, campers, yay!

VulvaPerson · 05/12/2020 14:57

Men are not starting their own groups based on gender only however women are.

I would say we should maybe wonder why this is, rather than writing off the group that wants time and space away from the opposite sex in certain situations as sexist or whatever.

Also a bump of a 7 year ld thread..longest zombie I have seen yet I think.

CatsCantCatchCriminals2 · 05/12/2020 14:58

If you think parentsnet would be a successful business, you need to approach your bank for a small business loan and set it up.

Sorted!

(I like it here. So won't be joining that parent one, thanks.)

DrDavidBanner · 05/12/2020 15:17

Its only the lowest of the low who swear right?!?!?!

Wadda load of fucking bollocks Grin

Yeah, how do you revive a 7yo thread? I'm kind of impressed.

This thread is reminding me of victimfocusblog.com/2018/01/03/stop-asking-me-what-about-men/ like night follows day

Deltoids1 · 05/12/2020 15:22

There are women only gyms, women only swimming pools, women only charities, 90% of teachers are women, CAFASS is mostly women, Child services is nearly 100% women, recruiters are nearly 100% women. So you see, all of the underpinning parts of society with the most influence on society is all women.

Mega Lolz at this. What about government, the FTSE100, the Judiciary, Universities, science?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 05/12/2020 15:23

Of course those who are intelligent chose not to swear

I’m fucking intelligent! 😒

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 05/12/2020 15:23

Why, for the love of god, dont mumsnet lock these threads

InterfectoremVulpes · 05/12/2020 18:41

Of course those who are intelligent chose not to swear

Fucking A!

RedDogsBeg · 05/12/2020 18:50

@Pappleapple

Ok I’ll rephrase it. I don’t have the time to look am right now. Men are not starting their own groups based on gender only however women are. There are women only gyms, women only swimming pools, women only charities, 90% of teachers are women, CAFASS is mostly women, Child services is nearly 100% women, recruiters are nearly 100% women. So you see, all of the underpinning parts of society with the most influence on society is all women. Cancer research U.K. has only just bowed to Leah all pressure as they wouldn’t allow men to run with women and there are more and more women only charities. There are just as many men that suffer with abuse but don’t report it as we have a very bias system. So anyway, I have a question. Why have “mumsnet” and not just a “parentnet” that includes everyone? One question, that’s all I’m asking. Thanks
I know I shouldn't bite but I will, I've got a few minutes to fill. @Pappleapple

Men are not starting their own groups based on gender only however women are.

Men don't need to and they are actively trying to, and succeeding in some instances, take over and destroy women only groups, spaces and services.

There are women only gyms, women only swimming pools

Are there? Good. I've only ever heard of woman only sessions at swimming pools and gyms and I am sure if you think really, really, hard you'll work out why women, especially of a particular demographic, not only want but actually need these services.

There was a women only swimming pond on Hampstead Heath, but men campaigned to have it changed to include males and they succeeded so now there is a Male only swimming pond, and two mixed swimming ponds, most notably the males point blank refused to allow women into their pond. Now women of a particular demographic which regularly used the women only pond can't use it and don't use it - yay progress.

90% of teachers are women, CAFASS is mostly women, Child services is nearly 100% women, recruiters are nearly 100% women. So you see, all of the underpinning parts of society with the most influence on society is all women.

Once again, think really, really hard why that would be, here's a clue men on the whole consider those careers beneath them, those careers are not valued, or in a lot of cases paid well. In the case of child services being female dominated do you really not understand why that would be?

Cancer research U.K. has only just bowed to Leah all pressure as they wouldn’t allow men to run with women and there are more and more women only charities.

I don't know what you mean by to Leah all pressure can't even guess at it, but why should men be allowed to run with women? Why can't men organise their own run? As to why there are more women only charities, again have a long hard think why that would be.

There are just as many men that suffer with abuse but don’t report it as we have a very bias system.

Why are women expected to solve this and every other problem men have for men? Why don't men speak out about abuse, support those who are being abused, campaign for, set up and fund domestic violence shelters, services and helplines for men? You know like women had to and still have to regarding domestic violence against women. Why should women give up what they have fought tooth and nail for against all the odds because men can't be bothered to do the same for themselves they would just rather take what women have got and push women out in the process.

Why have “mumsnet” and not just a “parentnet” that includes everyone? One question, that’s all I’m asking. Thanks

Why not? Who is not included? I asked you earlier and you failed to respond so I'll ask again:

Do you think every organisation and space set aside for people with particular needs based on race, disability, sexuality needs to include absolutely everyone in the whole wide world even if they are not in the demographic the organisation is for? Thanks.

Passmeabottlemrjones · 05/12/2020 18:59

@Pappleapple

Ok I’ll rephrase it. I don’t have the time to look am right now. Men are not starting their own groups based on gender only however women are. There are women only gyms, women only swimming pools, women only charities, 90% of teachers are women, CAFASS is mostly women, Child services is nearly 100% women, recruiters are nearly 100% women. So you see, all of the underpinning parts of society with the most influence on society is all women. Cancer research U.K. has only just bowed to Leah all pressure as they wouldn’t allow men to run with women and there are more and more women only charities. There are just as many men that suffer with abuse but don’t report it as we have a very bias system. So anyway, I have a question. Why have “mumsnet” and not just a “parentnet” that includes everyone? One question, that’s all I’m asking. Thanks
🤣🤣🤣
youkiddingme · 05/12/2020 19:52

If anyone wants to set up a dadsnet / blokesnet / chapsnet ... I say let them crack on. If it was called parentsnet but only mums were allowed that would be sexist. But a place for mums where other visitors are accepted I see no problem with, any more than I would have a problem with a forum set up for a specific group of men - where being a man is intrinsic to the purpose of the group.

dyslek · 05/12/2020 19:59

I always thought the name Mumsnet was the perfect cover. It keeps matcho types away and leaves the only internet chat room where women can talk freely without having to defend having a voice before every post.

Pappleapple · 05/12/2020 20:06

I don’t need to respond to this. There is no need for gender only groups in anything. End of conversation. All of what you think you know has been tilde to you by the media. I’m basing my responses on actual facts.

MichelleofzeResistance · 05/12/2020 20:10

If anyone wants to set up a dadsnet / blokesnet / chapsnet ... I say let them crack on.

Been here years.

Has been regular occasions of someone popping up to whinge why hasn't MN provided and sorted out all provision for men before daring to do anything that's mostly by women for women? The answer is there is a dadsnet section here, and it's barely used.

Some men post here, but there's not been an influx of dads going thank GOD, finally I have a place and a voice and it hasn't gone 50/50. That's been the choice of dads not to use this space, not because women haven't bent over backwards and enabled them enough: women have got on with it here. Women womening. Everywhere. It's great.

Pistonheads on the other hand is a busy and very much male dominated site, where a lot of men (presumably many are dads) are apparently having a great time. Men menning. Also great. Maybe that's a set up that works better for them, since it was set up by men, predominantly for men. They certainly seemed to manage to set that up and run it and enjoy it without needing women to set it up and organise it for them.

I don't think they fret a lot either that they aren't welcoming enough or doing enough to encourage more women posting. Probably on the assumption that if women wanted to, they would.

MichelleofzeResistance · 05/12/2020 20:11

Urgh it's a zombie Confused

midgebabe · 05/12/2020 20:12

Ok, I'll also say there is no need for gender only groups. That's fine. And irrelevant to mumsnet which is totally gender neutral and isn't even sex only.

There are times when sex only does matter though. But when men can live alongside women without belittling them and mistreating them, I will also say that we can give up any sex based restrictions.

EarthSight · 05/12/2020 20:13

which in turn conveys the idea that women do more parenting than men

Well.....that's because they do do more parenting than men, so you could argue that this needs to be acknowledged. They also do far more caring and unpaid labour generally, often at great cost to their own finances and independence. What are we supposed to do? Brush it under the cqrpet like it doesn't exist?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 05/12/2020 20:14

End of conversation

End of conversation 😀😀😀😀

Thats not how it works mate

midgebabe · 05/12/2020 20:17

I think it's more like " lecture over, sorry no questions "

MedusasBadHairDay · 05/12/2020 20:22

I'm disappointed, pretty certain we used to get a better standard of MRA back in the day, this one is a bit of a let down.

dyslek · 05/12/2020 20:24

@MedusasBadHairDay

I'm disappointed, pretty certain we used to get a better standard of MRA back in the day, this one is a bit of a let down.
All the most vitrolic MRAs are pushing the TRA angle nowadays.
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