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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

maninism/mens rights!!

310 replies

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 00:12

why are good loving fathers not given equal rights, why are we forced to spend thousands and go through lengthy court battles for the right to be a father to our own children all because the mother is so selfish and self centered that she can decide to do this with no regard for her childs happiness and future well-being just because she can out of spite and nastiness towards her ex partner. Many thousands of men have not been allowed to see or speak to their children for weeks or years and many simply cannot afford to continue their legal pursuit and are forced to give up for this exact reason. And yet these women have the audacity to call them themselves mothers, its laughable they are barely human beings.
Fathers are EQUALY important as mothers yet the law and some women's attitudes do not seem to reflect this. I know of a man who did everything he could to be part of his childs life, paid 36,000 in csa payments and was forced to have little contact with that child,then 10 years after she was born, rumours came out that that child wasnt his, a dna test confirmed this! Her motive? GREED, it is an all to common story, so many "mums" do not even consider how keeping their childs father out of their lives affects them in the the short and long term without even mentioning its moraly wrong. Any mum who takes there children away from there dad. doesn't deserve the bloody title! OUR children is the only way you can hurt us, which is why you use them as weapons and pawns in your sick twisted games, so how about you grow up realise life is too short, and that your children's happiness is actually MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN! you may have your children now when they are young but i promise you you'll lose them when they learn the truth they will NEVER forgive you for destroying their special relationship with their dad and ensuring they had a s**t childhood, and let that be on your conscience,not that you have one or a soul or a heart or brain.
So stop punishing your children let their dads have access to them as much as you do, that is called EQUALITY.
this rant is aimed at all the dead beat"mums", i realise and recognise that the majority of mums are amazing and do the right thing by their kids by letting their father play a prominent role in their lives, as it should be. And obviously not all dads are worthy of that title either but i'm not talking about them i have as much respect for them as i do for these women that my comments are directed at.
Il be here waiting for your comments i felt it necessary to voice these facts in the lion's den so to speak, we need to be heard, fathers NEED equal rights.

OP posts:
jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:08

xenia you certainly know your stuff thankyou again this is what iv been trying to achieve and yes i did use shock tactics in op to make a hot topic and get as many of you involved as possible so thankyou for you attention. and xenia your last post he so true iv done alot of research read alot of case files and what you say is completely correct.

OP posts:
seeker · 21/10/2012 16:10

What do you want people to say?

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:10

it was meant to be meddle that person has asked me that like 10 times when i have already explained several it gets very boring repeating myself

OP posts:
jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:11

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DuelingFanjo · 21/10/2012 16:11

why do you repeatedly ignore te questions about what you have done to get access and what reasons have been given by your ex to withold it?

BigBroomstickBIWI · 21/10/2012 16:12

'Shock tactics'? I think you'll find that on Mumsnet we mostly prefer reasoned debate. Especially when someone purports to be asking for help.

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:13

because as i have also said several times i didnt come to talk about myself i came here to talk about the issues xenia has raised, you have already asked me this question at least twice

OP posts:
BigBroomstickBIWI · 21/10/2012 16:15

Why do you do it with such bile and hatred for the very people you want to discuss the issues with?

AbigailAdams · 21/10/2012 16:15

But you aren't answering people's questions! You aren't explaining properly what happened, you aren't explaining what you have done so far, you aren't engaging.

Oh and you don't need "shock tactics". This is a huge forum. You would have received many replies without resorting to calling people cunts.

Strawhatpirate · 21/10/2012 16:15

:D exactly happyhalloweenmotherfucker talking in the manner of american teenagers is unacceptable apparently. Swearing and namecalling is fine however. Are you trying to say people don't talk to you like shit in real life because they're scared of you OP?

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:15

ive not once asked for help i do not need help our children need help and protection from parental alienation syndrome

OP posts:
seeker · 21/10/2012 16:16

Ok. I've read the thread and I don't understand what you want. And when I ask you what you want you tell me to shut up. Very rational and reasonable. And what on earth do you mean by "shock tactics"? I suspect many of us have been shocked by better men than you!

IWipeArses · 21/10/2012 16:17

Ok, I think that a minority of women who prevent or limit access are in the wrong, most of the time when a man isn't involved in their children's lives it's for the better.

Yes, parenting should be more equal. The reason it isn't is because an awful lot of men are abusive controlling dickheads.

What were the other incidences in which she put his health in danger?

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:18

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IWipeArses · 21/10/2012 16:20

Stop trying to shut people up.

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:23

yes iwipearses i agree with you but again you cant say most men, ido not say most women are crap mum who alienate their kids from their fathers because that is a blatent lie! i think personal feelings and mis conceptions need to be put aside when discussing this issue to be able to see the bigger picture

OP posts:
Xenia · 21/10/2012 16:24

There certainly is a major issue for men and women that the resident parent can stop all contact and then in a sense be rewarded for that as the new status quo is not parents half the time which may have been the case before divorce but 100% with one. The courts then may order some minial pathetic contact like once a fortnight and the residen tparent then totally ignores that and it is hard to get anything done.

What non resident parents of either gender can do is (a ) have good lawyers (b) take all opportunities for contact - go to every single sports match the children are in, every school play, sports day, all parents' eveniings and (c) ensure you live very near the children. Try to keep in touch by email, skype and text and blackberry messenger. Also remember children are very bribable - mine come on holiday because it's luxury skiing holidays. If I offered a wet weekend in a tent the older ones would never come. Also remember children of 13+ can choose with which parent to live so bide your time.

Most of all ensure you never have sexism in the marriage whilst you are married. Do as much housework as your wife and childcare and encourage her to pursue a carer and work full time even if it means you wash your own shirts. Such gender equality in marriage then tends to be reproduced after divorce.

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 16:25

no not when they make ridiculous comments

OP posts:
IWipeArses · 21/10/2012 16:26

Actually I think a lot of men behave very badly, I'd say that more men behave badly than women.
I don't think that most men are crap, but most men who think they're treated unfairly probably aren't.

solidgoldbrass · 21/10/2012 16:26

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Strawhatpirate · 21/10/2012 16:27

O really? Not just an internet tough guy then? Maybe that's why you're having problems with your ex if she shits herself when you walk in the room as you so eloquently put it. everyone being scared of you is nothing to be proud of really is it.

IWipeArses · 21/10/2012 16:29

Well, you're being abusive and controlling to us. I can't see any reason why you wouldn't be that way with a woman in your life.

AbigailAdams · 21/10/2012 16:29

Considering this is supposed to be about your child this thread seems to have focused an awful lot on your feelings jive and how hard done by you are.

avaboosmummy · 21/10/2012 16:42

@Xenia,
so you think women that choose to give up careers are 'stupid'?
I think plenty would disagree with you on this.
I choose to give up my career to go down the self employed route, many people dream of quiting the rat race both male and female, so would it be fair to assume that they are all stupid?
My household income went from good middle to 'scrounging off the taxpayer', until you find yourself in such a situation perhaps it's best you don't tar everyone with the same brush.
I said in a previous post that seperation should be dealt with on an individual basis. Once something is set in stone it becomes harder to change it, so if you push for 50/50 split on everything child related is this not doing harm to those women who chose to be SAHM, as their then ex partners can then use this to their own benefit rather than that of the child's?
I'm always suspect of people who constantly go on about their 'high incomes' and 'social status', if you have it why the need to constantly flaunt it?
I wouldn't feel the need to do this if I felt secure about my life and I would show a degree of modesty as you simply cannot know everyone else's personal situations.
If we all pursue high power high earning jobs, then who will serve you in a supermarket, stack the shelves, clean etc?
I think perhaps your attitude certainly comes across as quite elitist, as it implies that you can only have worth if you have wealth.
50/50 would be great but I wouldn't want my children to feel they were being shipped off here there and everywhere.
I wonder if it's a bit 'chicken and egg' regarding why women end up with the kids.
When my dd was born I had a massive surge of overwhelming love and responsibilty for the baby I'd carried, like nothing I ever felt before, whether her father felt the same I rather doubt, simply because he doesn't have the surging hormones nor the physical act of giving birth.
I'd love to know if other new mum's felt this and if they did, could we conclude that this does set us up as primary caregiver as we feel more the need to protect our offspring?
Sorry going off topic here!
To the OP, I have come to conclude that it's better to keep your own counsel,
by all means seek out the oppinions of others, but don't do it in a way that will aggravate them!
Search the net, read, ask people and then draw your own conclusions as ultimately only you can do what is right for you.

seeker · 21/10/2012 16:44

In an ideal world, bot parents should have equal input into the upbringing of their child.

There.

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