maninism/mens rights!!

[jiveturkey]

why are good loving fathers not given equal rights, why are we forced to spend thousands and go through lengthy court battles for the right to be a father to our own children all because the mother is so selfish and self centered that she can decide to do this with no regard for her childs happiness and future well-being just because she can out of spite and nastiness towards her ex partner. Many thousands of men have not been allowed to see or speak to their children for weeks or years and many simply cannot afford to continue their legal pursuit and are forced to give up for this exact reason. And yet these women have the audacity to call them themselves mothers, its laughable they are barely human beings.
Fathers are EQUALY important as mothers yet the law and some women's attitudes do not seem to reflect this. I know of a man who did everything he could to be part of his childs life, paid 36,000 in csa payments and was forced to have little contact with that child,then 10 years after she was born, rumours came out that that child wasnt his, a dna test confirmed this! Her motive? GREED, it is an all to common story, so many "mums" do not even consider how keeping their childs father out of their lives affects them in the the short and long term without even mentioning its moraly wrong. Any mum who takes there children away from there dad. doesn't deserve the bloody title! OUR children is the only way you can hurt us, which is why you use them as weapons and pawns in your sick twisted games, so how about you grow up realise life is too short, and that your children's happiness is actually MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN! you may have your children now when they are young but i promise you you'll lose them when they learn the truth they will NEVER forgive you for destroying their special relationship with their dad and ensuring they had a s**t childhood, and let that be on your conscience,not that you have one or a soul or a heart or brain.
So stop punishing your children let their dads have access to them as much as you do, that is called EQUALITY.
this rant is aimed at all the dead beat"mums", i realise and recognise that the majority of mums are amazing and do the right thing by their kids by letting their father play a prominent role in their lives, as it should be. And obviously not all dads are worthy of that title either but i'm not talking about them i have as much respect for them as i do for these women that my comments are directed at.
Il be here waiting for your comments i felt it necessary to voice these facts in the lion's den so to speak, we need to be heard, fathers NEED equal rights.

thanks seeker it good to hear your actual opinion i appreciate it

again iwipearses i appreciate it is your opinion abeit a very sexist one, but that is based on your feelings not fact

God, I'd be gutted to have brought up children who would only come on holiday with me if I promised them 'luxury skiing'. How sad.

and avaboo dont aggravate me and i wont aggravate you i wont stand for bullying!! i give respect where it is due otherwise i wont stand for any un called for s*it thrown at me!

no mother would suggest" only come on holiday with me if I promised them 'luxury skiing'. How sad." what stupid thing to say! grow up raising children isnt about how much money you can throw at them! but lucky you if you can do that for your kids, i wish i could.

I was giving practical advice. My advice to women is never put your career on the back burner. It never pays off.

After divorce most people onaverage earnings find life very difficult whatever their gender as two homes are to be kept rather than one. If they had both kept up full time careers there would be less change the become a burden on hard working tax payers through the benefits system. yes, it may be hard both to work full time and manage childcare and life but it is better in the long run.

My advice to keep in touch via school events is good and people have to think laterally if they are denied contact and think of ways to stay in touch.

There are some people male and female who want all or nothing - contact on their terms or none. Some get very obssessed by it too. That tends to make things harder for them.

One way for men to improve their rights after divorce is have a fair equal marriage before where they and their wife do as much childcare and cleaning as each otehr and earn about the same and both work full time. For the second marriage try to target women committed to work rather than wasghing your socks, pick one who has not leeched off a man for money, pick a feminist, pick one who is not itching to be a housewife however convenient you might prefer that, avoid the low paid and your second marriage may be better than the first. Ensure teh second wife does not become ahousewife as you'll have a second divoerce with a similar outcome - not enough money to go around.

I've not aggravated anyone.
However when you use shouty capitals in your OP, ie 'and that your children's happiness is actually MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN!'.
Perhaps you should have used 'their' rather than 'your', as it implies you are shouting a mums/women in general.
Writing this in second person pov, implies you are addressing the reader.

Why do your think your are searching of respect when you come on here do the verbal equivalent of stamping your feet like an angry toddler?

And how far do your think this petulant and aggressive "I demand respect" behaviour will get you with court officers, cafcass, judges etc?

Apologies for the mistype -I meant deserving, not searching.

@Xenia,
how do you work out that that two parents working full time will be better off?
Surely that comes down to the ages of the children?
For many couples it simply does not add up for both to work full time once you take into account childcare.
Those hard working tax payers you talk about, I was once one of them, do I not have a right to use the benefit system if I need?
Next you will be saying 'only have kids if you can afford it'
Can I borrow your crystal ball sometime?

avaboo did you read my closing statement on my original post maybe i should of put that bit at the beginning, i admit im know expert letter writter i was crap at writing storys in school, please read the bit im refering to ava im sure you are one of the amazing mums i was trying to exclude from my op

What I said wasn't sexist.

Can I borrow your crystal ball sometime?
adult discussion please xenia has made the most valid points out of all of you but it is her opinion so respect it like she respects yours

you generalised men how isnt it sexist!
if i started generalising women i would sexist and get shot down in flames

I said a lot of men behave badly. That isn't generalising about all men.

and fillipinida the judge and officials are respectable, fair open minded individuals who aren't one sided against men so with our discussions we'll get on just fine

OP,
yes I did read your full post, but when you start a rant that at first appears to encompass all, and then at the end say 'but I didn't mean you', then you have already got people's back's up.
I don't think it's a currently fair system, I would not want to argue for the equality of just one group as inevitably this means that another group loses ground.
I'd like things to be fair for all concerned, man, woman, child however I don't feel blanket legislation allows any space for individual circumstance.
I think sometimes the worst thing in these situations is to involve a whole raft of other people, ie, solicitors, csa etc, as it just aggravates an already difficult situation. I like the idea of mediation, which perhaps should be compulsory before any further steps are taken.l

nope go back and have another look! you said MOST men = generalisation

None of us has children we cannot affford.

There is an issue for men in this. Countles ones do not pay support their first familyl, would not have afford or had more children with the first wife because of lack of money but they abandon that first lot and pay nothing and have a second family they cannot afford to support with the first family too.

ava I do niot agree over ages. 28 years agowe both worked fuill time. The cost of child care was more than one of our salaries. nearly 30 years on I make well quite a lot and it was because of that early sacrifice and investment into career. Other women should do the same. You might well start small on a low salary as a man or woman but you work your way up and what starts as low pay and perhaps even working at aloss means in due course you may rise to run your department whether that be Tesco or at the call centre or being senior female surgeon at your hospital. It is a route many more girls shoudl be encouraged to follow.

Lack of money and sexism are problems on divorce. If women are desperate for childcare from men afte divorce because they work full time they are much more likely to share care 50./50 with a man. If they sit around at home all day being kept they are much more likel to use denial of contact as a weapon. Thus ensuring men and women both work and have equal roles in a relationship and do as much childcare as each other protects both men and women after divore.

"thanks seeker it good to hear your actual opinion i appreciate it"

I was only saying what everyone thinks. Can we stop the thread now, or do you have an actual point?

Xenia is agreeing with your viewpoint, that's why you say hers are valid, you've completely ignored my previous post. It's true I would be sad if my children only wanted to spend time with me on holiday if we were going somewhere luxurious as Xenia suggests is the only way. Luckily my children enjoying being anywhere with me and dh as although we are both professional there isn't that kind of money around.

Children do work things out for themselves eventually following relationship breakdowns and its often people outside the relationship who have to clear up the mess. The only reason that I see now as valid to stop contact with either parent is abuse, be that to the child or the resident parent. As for maintenance as is said often people should support their child whether they see them or not

thanks avaboo for your comment but it isnt about men or women gaining ground its about our childrens happiness, and having a balanced equal relationship with both parents.

lol yes seeker we're nearly finished

@JT
The issue I make with Xenia's post's is the assumption that once you have wealth everything is then okay.
Many people have seen their incomes wiped out by the current economic climate.
Wealth doesn't always last, as Kirsty Mccoll sang, 'From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement, it's not that far'.

Actually, I was being specific there - most men who think they're being treated unfairly probably aren't. Based on experience and observation.
You've not addressed my point that you are being controlling to us posting here.