Vile vile Ann Summers product

[Dillytante]

Apologies if there has already been a thread on this.

Bj strap

I actually don't know what to say about this.

---

This thread is years old and inactive. If you've found this page in search of Ann Summers products that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best Ann Summers sex toys useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ 💐

I was not trying to be offensive - I myself am gay. I was using it as an example as I am aware that many primary school aged children spout out homophobia. It isn't the best example, I admit, but it was definitely not intended to compare fetishes to homosexuality or be offensive.

It isn't abuse if both parties are enjoying it. Of course, there is abuse and that should be not be accepted. But between consensual adults who are enjoying it, what is the problem? Why should a certain sexual preference be stigmatised by people just because they don't enjoy it?

My post might be confusing! I'm not saying that putting an object in somebody's mouth is a misuse of an object! I mean constraining somebody's head with the oven glove object is a misuse of it.

It seems odd to despair of one restrictive toy, the mask, but justify another as in the handcuffs

Really both are equally as bad and open to abuse

AKAW, I think the general point is that there is no reason for violent sex and things related to it to be part of mainstream society, because mainstream society involves young people. There is no reason for young people of any age not to be aware of homosexuality.

Starwisher, one involves a choking risk, even when used with consent, and the other doesn't.

I know LineRunner, it's hideous.

Ladies are happy to gag on penises just as long as their hair doesn't get mussed up. WTAF?

In terms of how patriarchal that is it is actually quite impressive - femininity nonsense marketing and abusive sex rolled into one. I think this item and the way it is presented should be nominated for some sort of prize.

"And the winner in the subliminal laydeez know your place category, goes to the BJ Strap - how to be groomed and femininely lacy whilst gagging on cock". FFS.

Starwisher, several posters have shared their experiences of being dominated and not enjoying it, myself included. It was where you told us that we should just be a bit 'stronger'.

It could involve a choking risk. Someone could still hold your head and force themselves on to you if your handcuffed

They can prose a whole range of risks apart from that

What is running through men's heads when their partner wears this? How is he thinking of her?

What rubbish alice

I was talking about teenage girls, saying they are not passive

Nothing to do with you. Not my problem if you insist on reading meaning that is fa to do with you

Starwisher I don't think handcuffs are that great either - I do think they are a bit different to this though.

He is thinking, 'I'm really a nice bloke for not messing up her hair,' apparently.

Indeed SinicalSal. I thought that too.

Why do people actually object to this? Is it the safety aspect or the potential for abuse?

I suppose the difference is the strap thing is single purpose, whereas the handcuffs may be used in an buse scenario may also be used to tickle you with feathers or some other softy softy candlelit luuurve making

And I was talking about my experience as a teenage girl. That is not 'rubbish'.

Are they so different? It all depends on the user of the product at the end of the day

Alice I know nothing about you, it was not aimed at you or designed to get at you, it was not meant in any malce or bad I intention

It was generic and was not made with you in mind

Im not sure what else I can say

Can we try to clear one thing up.

Sex that involves pain, violence and abuse - is painful, violent and abusive.

Whether the participants freely consent to and enjoy the experience does not suddenly change the above.

I think it is dangerous and deluded to argue otherwise.

But why is enjoying a certain type of sex - as long as both parties enjoy it - bad? And is it abusive if it is truly consensual?

AsCorrupt- it's for many reasons, all outlined in the thread you've been reading.

Getting off on loss of control is one thing.
But you have to learn how to wield control and be comfortable with the control of your own sex life before you even think of playing at giving it up.
The mainstreaming of this type of fetish gear sidesteps real sexual empowerment, esp for young girls who are receiving message after message tht female sexuality = submission.

I object to the product I suppose because

1. The advertising is disingenuous - all that nice hair crap - and
2. The product turns the woman into part of the sex toy.

I still find it hard to work out whether safety is your main concern, or whether it is the potentially abusive aspect.

Pain can be stimulating. Loss of control can be stimulating. If you are doing these things with someone that you trust, how is that harmful? I have consented to this, does that mean that I had been brainwashed by Ann Summers?

I don't think that this is empowering, although it is nice that women can buy these freely for themselves. What type of sex is empowering for women in that case?