I was very impressionable as a teenager and went along with all manner of sexual stuff because it seemed like the norm to me at the time in the relationship I was in. Now that lots of stuff is being reinforced as normal in wider society, I dread to think what more extreme stuff I would have agreed to on the basis that it didn't seem far beyond the norm. It was only getting away from more extreme stuff in later relationships that gave me the space to work out what my sexuality was.
I don't really think the arguments about parents bringing girls up to have self confidence and so on really hold much weight in an argument about sex. If you compare it to food, as a parent I can model healthy attitudes in what I eat and what I cook, in what I arrange for them to eat and cook. I can't do that with sex. There are very major limitations on how much of my children's entire knowledge of some comes from me. The attitude wider society now has to shared, public sexual expression is irresponsible. I cannot combat that as a parent because it would be unethical for me to tell my kids sex is not about ABC that you see on tv/in magazines/on the high street, it should be XYZ instead. Because nobody should be telling my kids that sex is ABC or XYZ. Sex isn't food, or clothes or music. Young people should be deciding what sex is for themselves, from their own experiences as they get older. Adults, whether that is me or big corporations, shouldn't be pushing various types of sexual expression on to young people.
The responsibility of adults, beyond some issues like safe sex, consent and emotions in relationships, isn't to tell young people about sexual expression. The responsibility of adults is to not sexually express themselves to young people, and that includes adults who make money out of sexual expression by promoting the sex industry. And it is really a bit sad to think that people can't work out how to sexually express themselves and will be somehow lacking in opportunities to do that unless somebody sells them a product. Are we really that enamoured with consumerism?
This is a bit rambly (sorry); I think perhaps it comes back to the poster who was talking about having a thread on what women's sexuality is really about. I suspect the reason why such a big deal has to be made about all kinds of role play and fantasy that becomes fetishised in sexual behaviour is because play, creativity and imagination are curtailed in adult life. Then play in sex becomes drenched in domination, because we cut off play in sex from the rest of who we are, and never have to examine that domination or why it has become such a big part of people's sex lives.
I don't believe play in sex is separate from who we are. If people were more imaginative and creative outside of sex, there would be no need for them to be sold stuff or have to be instructed by the sex industry on how to hold somebody's head in position with a glorified pair of oven gloves, because their creativity in sex would be a natural extension of their creativity and shared imagination in their relationships anyway.