Vile vile Ann Summers product

[Dillytante]

Apologies if there has already been a thread on this.

Bj strap

I actually don't know what to say about this.

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I would like at least a recognition I am not some f4j activist

I don't think you could insult me anymore than calling me that

The other thing that I meant to say is that if these things are normalised then they become something that is done in more casual encounters/relationships, when IMO and IME things which are a bit off the beaten track as it were are best experimented with/done with people who you know well/trust etc.

The idea of girls feeling that they need to be doing stuff like this on a one night stand is bleurgh (unless of course she has worked out that's what she really likes and is genuinely in control of the situation).

I can't really think of an equivalent of any of these things that are becoming more prevalent for heterosexual males to "do" - anyone know anything about that?

perhaps you might want to pm me starwisher, whom I've never seen on these boards before and who has insulted two posters hence my reply to you. I know no one who has been though dv who would say such things. I'm sorry. It doesn't compute.

I clicked on this because it was in Active Convos, and it was a subject that drew my attention.
It reminds me again, to never go into feminism threads.
I'll just repeat my POV again for what it's worth.
I think Anne Summers should stay on the 'softer' side of selling sex. they are after all a High Street Store.
I thought the image on the OP was more suited to an S&M site.
And as a mum of a ds16, who might just see this, what do I tell him?
This is what women like?
Or let him learn in his own way that it's up to the couple involved?
Anne Summers might teach him and his peers that this is perfectly normal and it's just wrong. wrong, wrong.

Btw star I cared not for you 'activism' against F4J. Did you not read the post properly?

You want me to pm on you to prove myself to you that I have been in abusive relationships?

What the actual fuck?

I'm not allowed to contribute to a board because you were here first?

I'm not sure who I have insulted, and I apologise to anyone who feels insulted by me, but no one is being more insulting, rude or plain ABUSIVE as you

You have taken the biscuit.

I don't think that anybody is advocating using this thing as a feminist act, LadyBeagleEyes; I'm confused why this thread on particular makes you wary of the Feminism section?

Evening all

Just for the record I got the link from my twitter feed from someone equally disgusted.

I don't know how many times people can make the points before it sinks in but:

Yes, some women might like it, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't send an awful message out

And no, just because someone isn't being frogmarched in to buy it doesn't mean they aren't been coerced in other ways, by societal pressures.

Obviously this device is going to take women out of their comfort zone in a BJ otherwise it wouldn't be 'needed' in the first place.

at comparing homosexuality to fetishism.

Mega and a bit of .

Um, this is a feminist thread is it not? We try not to be bigoted and blinkered by patriarchy. I know it isn't easy but it isn't that difficult surely?

Does the situation change, though, if it isn't between a man and a woman? In a lesbian relationship, there is no risk of a patriarchal dominance, so does that make this fine?

The "strong woman" argument is valid, but, as with anything that is normalised over time, it will become a part of society that only the few will argue against. However, if sex toys were only sold over the internet or purely in designated sex shops, the people who are into this would be severely disadvantaged and find it difficult to indulge. We shouldn't label these people "depraved" or "violent", just as we shouldn't normalise it.

IAOS: yes that's what I meant. Thanks.

Starwisher- I have disagreed with you on this particular issue. I don't doubt that you find abuse abhorrent though.

I still find it surprising though that posters who say they enjoy being dominated sexually want to claim that this is liberating per se for all women, and don't see the damage that mainstreaming niche sexual practices does to the emerging sexuality of young women (and men), and that it puts more pressure on women generally, especially those with unpleasantly coercive male partners. It's not really "out there" as a supposition, is it?

Dworkin - I've got plenty of homosexual friends who don't despise BDSM. So?

And the thing is, homosexuality nowadays thankfully is pretty much accepted in society, but it's not been such a long time since it was thought of as a fetish and perverse.

People should be free to explore their sexuality and reject anything that doesn't turn them on. Without making one thing more acceptable or less acceptable than the other. The only thing that counts is what you feel comfortable with yourself

Also a bit foxed by ladybeagle's post!

I don;t understand the F4J stuff either, BTW. Maybe there has been a misunderstanding?

Lebof

I do agree, but fundamentally I believe if I can be exposed to certain acts and toys and still not feel like I have to partake then so can others

I believe women are not passive.

But please dont take this that I am insulating women who did experiment or we're forced are somehow weaker at all.

There is a massive difference with a product available for consumption and being forced into something by an abusive person if that makes sense

Okay ascorrupt: why would anyone be severely disadvantaged? Are you saying that we are born to think in a certain way? It's in human genes to want to put a strap around your partner's neck in order to control your thrusts into the mouth? I include strap ons btw. I can't imagine women want to do this to other women. I just can't and if you are lesbian then please elucidate and educate me. I'm on the cusp.

Anyway I digress: and I repeat once more femininity is a learned behaviour, as is masculinity.

I don't understand what you are saying, WW.

I don;t think that gay couples should zoom straight to more extreme practices, without doing a fair bit of snogging and fondling (love that word ) and basic sort of sex stuff first.

Same as anyone else.

Sardine thank you I looked and looked over what I read but couldn't see any mention.

I feel embrassed now for rising to the bait.

As a woman I am not passive.

As a 16 year old girl I was, somewhat. Because I was still learning, I didn't know what was what, it was all new.

Plus lots of teen girls go out with blokes who are a fair bit older (not me but it happens a lot).

Often there is a power dynamic thingy going on, and it's not usually in favour of the female.

'Lesbians do it too' is not a political argument.

Lesbian sexuality is not uninfluenced by patriarchal values. (cos they don't live in a vacuum either.)

Widow: but I know lots of gays who despise BDSM. so we are equal. non? You totally misrepresent homosexuality as being, in historical terms, a fetish and perverse. NOT SO. It was always accepted until Victorian times. And quite frankly I'm upset that you present this as so.

Really my concerns are around

Normalisation
Teens and young people

If experienced adults want to frot themselves off with jelly with inflatable rubber masks on then that is fine by me. But I think this stuff should be something that you seek out, somehow.