Vile vile Ann Summers product

[Dillytante]

Apologies if there has already been a thread on this.

Bj strap

I actually don't know what to say about this.

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Yes. And - as I imagine this must have been raised at some point in 17 pages - I shall say, once again, that THE 'RAPE' FANTASY IS NOT A FANTASY OF ACTUAL RAPE. Rape is a man forcing his dick or other object into you against your will, not 'unexpectedly' or in a yielding James Bond change-of-mind scenario. A harsh, violent assault. An invasion, without your wanting it or agreeing to it or able to stop it.

What Beach said above about survivors having mixed-up thoughts and responses, is also true but unrelated to the ordinary 'rape' fantasy, which is about having a surprise good time without responsibility.

Ladybeagleeyes my point exactly.... thank god we seem to be getting this discussion back to it's subject.

All this talk of Sade is fair enough, but I haven't seen a Sade shop on Oxford Street or in Westfields yet.....'-)

Garlic - im pleased to hear that you are not linda lovelace but i don't give my DP BJ's for direct sexual pleasure. To be fair most of the time it will be reciprocated, either at that time or directly afterwards or may lead to other things but sometimes i will just give DP a BJ, not as a favour but because i like to see him really aroused, even if i dont actually want sex at the time. I would never do it as a favour though, i don't think, i mean, i do do favours for DP, but just not BJs AS favours :) (did give him one in return for a big mac once but thats another story!)

not read the comments about rape fantasy, but i suppose its a complicated one. I like rough sex, and by rough i mean really rough, but i do not in any way have rape fantasies, i find that abhorrant.

I don't understand how this equates to domestic violence. Some couples like rough sex, and this would be something they are interested in. my mom was a victim of dv until she left my father when I was six.
Ann Summers appeals to loads of different tastes. Ive never used a cock ring or nipple clamps during sex, doesn't mean that because I've seen it in AS that I think I should. My little sister is 16 and has been in AS with me, not the restricted parts before I get flamed. She's seen raunchy underwear, doesn't mean she thinks its a normal thing to wear. She knows she doesn't have to do anything she isn't comfortable with during sex. People aren't giving the younger ones enough credit imo

This whole thing about "specialist interests" should be kept from becoming mainstream for the sake of the poor youths which shouldn't be corrupted into liking BDSM - I guess it's kind of the same argument as keeping, say, homosexual relations hidden away, lest the innocent get ideas.

So all in all it promotes taboo, and the message that if you get turned on by certain things which aren't approved of by some kind of rad fem sexual ethics board, you're wrong and should be ashamed of yourself.

You don't protect people from abuse by driving things underground. It also reinforces the message that women by default are victims and I don't like that.

I agree widow and monkey

Surely everyone on here has been exposed to non-vanilla items but still managed to assert their own sexual confidence and preferences as strong women. All of you have seen this item yet not felt a great pressure to run off and buy it. Do we think other women are not as strong?

Sexuality is a journey.

Along the way some might have felt less shame about things they liked, some might have found new enjoyable acts and see have just defined what they definitely don't like.

Well said star

How on earth have you landed at that conclusion?

I agree with any other soil. I've been exposed to these things, used them cos my ex dripped dripped dripped it was 'normal' and then recreated abuse in my loving sex life for years So can you guess what I would like you to do with your 'strong women don't do this' shite. Think about what you are saying and who you might be saying it to.

Alice if you like you can search my posts in fathers rights and see why I had to fight to stop my abusive ex from seeing my daughter

If your going to tell me to be careful, then don't be a hypocrite.

Thanks for attacking me

Widowwadman: You make such a lazy argument that I'm shocked. I would have expected better from you. Basically your argument shouts PRUDES. To equate BDSM with homosexuality misses the point on a massive scale.

Do you know anyone who wants to be with the same sex, because I know a lot. They despise BDSM as much as anyone else.

It's about getting teenagers on board with their sexuality, without influence from porn. Porn today insists that it's okay to jizz on the face and to have anal. I'm not happy that my son is exposed to this nor do I expect my daughters to be happy with this either.

Sex should be exploring your feelings of attraction to whatever sex you want and to explore this without influence from the media. And to enjoy it as I did when I was a teenager.

I'm sorry to hear you've had an abusive ex star. Don't see how what I'm saying is in any way hypocritical.

Your telling me to be careful as you have been abused, yet are assuming I have no idea about abuse myself

It's quite hurtful

I'm not assuming you have no idea about abuse star. You are making assumptions about women on relation to bdsm and I'm telling you my perspective,

Sexuality is a journey. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Society is such that young people are skipping straight to the end of the journey. That is not right.

The homosexuality point is ridiculous. Homosexual people, like heterosexual people, ideally start out their journey with a kiss and take it from there.

What the normalisation of these more extreme practices do is skip the beginning and middle and go straight to the end.

How much more fun to find out through experience that you like to have your head controlled when giving oral sex. And take it a bit further and a bit further until you end up with a shirt being used and then maybe one of these things.

Whereas the early exposure to these things puts the idea in people's heads that this is something to try, something to do, and bypasses the discovering whether you actually like it.

I feel that I am not explaining what I mean very well on this thread.

Star any feminist on this board would not have responded as you did to Alice and Anyother.

I care not for your 'activism' on F4J and why would you bring this up on this thread anyway?

WHY?

I'm not talking about bdsm solely, frankly it's not something that vaguely interests me

I'm talking about a wide range of any sexual toy or aid over a journey of time.

Sardine - I understand what you are saying and I agree.

Dworkin I think you have missed my point. I'm actually stunned.

I am saying I have to protect my little girl from her abusive father who abused me sexually, physically and mentally in her prescence

How is this being an activist for fathers for justice? Fathers for justice was never mentioned.

Please clarify you understand this?

Sardine yes good post

But going straight to the end of the journey means that sex is boring and that we need as humans even more stimulation throughout our lives to get excited about sex. And at what age does this stop?

For women: would you be happy to have anal sex at 80, given that a lot of high profile octogenarian men in their 80s have much younger females: paywall on the Times. I'm not linking. As it would be deleted.

PIV is boring. Can we not just think this and then move on?

Not only at what age do we stop, at what 'sex torture' (whatever that is - could someone explain?) do we stop also.

We have snuff videos on which men get off. Snuff videos of young children. Where do we draw the line?