Vile vile Ann Summers product

[Dillytante]

Apologies if there has already been a thread on this.

Bj strap

I actually don't know what to say about this.

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This thread is years old and inactive. If you've found this page in search of Ann Summers products that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best Ann Summers sex toys useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ 💐

There are plenty of women on MN who say they would not consider anal sex in a million years. That is their right. Why are they wrong to say that?

That makes more sense, Abigail. Apologies for reading it wrong! It's very late here and I really should be asleep, not working (and MNing).

I think no thanks to engaging in anything sexual that I don't want to do, MrsMicawber. I recommend the same stance to all.

MrsM
There is a bit of a difference between fluffy handcuffs and this - is what I am saying.

Bondage equipment, the more serious stuff, used to be confined to specialist stores. Now with companies like AS and Lovehoney, it is creeping into "mainstream" stores.

And, yes, SardineQueen. Anal sex is so normal now that you read young girls on FB talking about it. At 18 or 19yo, I was not experienced enough to have been able to say no to something that made me uncomfortable and was lucky that I never needed to make that call.

There are some sexual practices that require a good bit of trust between partners, and this is not really very clear now.

can you imagine how much they laughed coming up with that one?

ok this may help put the argument into context - at baby group this morning I took my laptop (as was going to library later) and asked 5 of the women there who are friends what they thought about this - 2 of them are young 19 and 21. these two younger women said and I quote 19 yrold"If that's what my P liked I would try it for them" and 21 yrold "I don't get what's wrong with it if Ann Summers are selling it" - doesn't that say it all? The other women were equally as outraged and disgusted as I was upthread.

No worries Hestor. I am using my phone which seems to be encouraging brevity rather than clarity .

Actually amongst many young people, anal sex is seen as ordinary sexual behaviour. Not saying they all do it, but certainly I think porn has seriously pushed the boundaries of what is normal practice.

So that makes you right then Covert because you were outraged ??

No it proves that selling this in AS normalises in some women's eyes BDSM practices that are not part of normal sexual behaviour.

This product is vile just like jacky gold.

Well it maybe is more than you like to think lesley.

CovertTwinkle - "[the] 21 yrold "I don't get what's wrong with it if Ann Summers are selling it" - that is SO sad and depressing and hints that she values her sexual self-worth on the actions of a shop whose primary function is to make money!

imnotmymum - What evidence do you have for thinking that?

My evidence is that practices like anal sex have moved into mainstream for young people because of my previous work asa youth worker and advice in the media e.g. magazines aimed at young people. I don't see this with forcing a bj on a partner.

god that's terrible. Surely if he wants to be incontrol of his own pleasure he can use his hand fgs

Imnotmymum where did I say I was right? I don't believe I did. I merely was showing that younger people (which includes me at 21 btw) tend to think that this kind of thing is acceptable and putting it in a highstreet store will only reinforce that belief. All my friends are about the same age as me, students in their final year living away from home. When I tried to tell some of them about the abuse Id suffered many of them didn't understand what made it abuse because they'd seen similar things on TV, in porn or been asked to do similar things by men they'd met or been involved with. Parents are often not clued up on these things. we were all talking recently about how our sex talks with our parents were only about the dangers of pregnancy and STIs. None of us had been talked to about the kind of sex that is ok and the kind that was more specialised and that we could say no to. You learn what to do from experience and unfortunately the internet. this kind of problem means that several of my friends have got into a mindset where they will do anything to prevent themselves being labelled as "frigid".

On the flipside my family didn't believe Id suffered sexual abuse because "normal people don't do things like that". there is a generation gap when it comes to sex and its an issue I think desperately needs addressing.

"No it proves that selling this in AS normalises in some women's eyes BDSM practices that are not part of normal sexual behaviou" just saying perhaps now they are- due to the woman not a man making her do anything. I think your work ould indicate that you have seen some terrible things however in "normal" relationships perhaps it is more the norm ??

No this is not in my work with challenging families. This is in previous job as youth worker working with very ordinary young people.

WTF???

The message this sends out is just so dangerous I feel sickened.

The description reminds me of John Prescott's explanation for famously having
2 x jags "because Pauline doesn't like her hair being blown about" - Equally revolting MN's??

Referring to previous posters, I'd like to add that this product yes is hugely damaging to feminism, but much more destructive in terms of women having self-respect!!!

Finally, for those raising the issue of this being acceptable for those who enjoy submisssive play, I think the point is being missed. This is a very established, high-street chain whose market largely focuses on lingerie sales. For this reason many young and inexperienced young girls shop there.

This product shrieks of abuse,disrespect and DV to me, it being peddled in a high-street store is to me ill-advised in that it being sold there somehow encourages shoppers to view it as "the norm" and not for those who have sought out niche sex toys following years of exploration.

I am deeply uncomfortable at the demographic Ann Summers will be pushing this towards and saddened to think some young girl shopping on a Saturday is going to see this and consider it okay practice.

What a poor show Jacqueline Gold- you should be ashamed.

Normal is in the eye of the beholder, especially where sex is concerned. I don't like anal sex. I don't like receiving oral sex. I do like giving oral sex. The point I'm trying to make is I'm 34 and I've had the sexual experiences to make these decisions. A 14/15/16 year old should not be making these decisions. They should be dancing to Justin Beiber (or whoever is in the charts these days) and worrying about acne and their homework.

Ann Summers shops sell products that are for adults primarily above the age of consent. With that license to sell dildos, vibrators, fluffy handcuffs and love dust also comes the responsibility that they don't sell products that are unsuitable for the market in which they're sold. Shops that sell hardcore bondage gear are generally on industrial estates that are only accessible by car, and they have a strict policy of no under-18s allowed in the proper adult section. If Ann Summers is now selling this kind of hardcore gear then maybe that high-street license should be taken away.

A while ago I remember a campaign to stop the sexualisation of children by clothes makers marketing inappropriate underwear for little girls, i.e. a thong little more than a piece of string but with a label for ages 8-9, that kind of thing. Maybe something similar should be done with this??

Couldn't agree more MrsArchie

imnotmymum it's all about context. You are not looking at the bigger picture - that of the society in which we live.

Women's boundaries and bodies are being pushed by all this normalising of pornified sex. Not men's.

Which is no surprise really because, patriarchy.

Is there research to show the bigger society is abused and women are unable to say no or is that a minority ??

It's the same old same old

'Everyone else is doing it...you would if you loved me.'

That shit was old when Adam and Eve were kids. It's been co-opted by industry now (and we all admire business acumen and making a killing) and 'moved on' from a feel of a boob to dabbling in pretty hardcore and potentially emotionally and physically dangerous practices.

That's progress for you.

A woman's place is no longer the kitchen - we've moved on!

I don't understand your question. Are you asking me if there is research that shows that society is male dominated and that female sexuality and bodies are fetishized within that society? Are you asking me if male dominated society objectifies women and sexualizes our identity? Are you asking me if female sexuality has been co-opted by masculinity and reflects the wider values of submission and dominance upon which patriarchal society is founded?

Yes, there had been plenty of observation, research and writing on the above. Most people are able to see it with their own eyes though. (By switching on a television or flicking through a magazine for example.)