controlling women during pregnancy

[Rollon2012]

I've heard a few comments over the years about the hole teetotal during pregnancy thing is not about healthy babies but used to control women.

I wondered straight away , do feminists share this view?
im on the fence generally , although I went cold turkey smoking wise (threw my fags in the bin on the way out of the surgery after getting results) never smoked since and didn't drink at all.

Or is it an excuse the pg women who dont have the willpower to abstain for drinking for 9 months to make themselves feel better??

just wondering what your views on this, (I appreciate it may be a sensitive subject)

wow Rollon

what would you do if someone was a bit..you know...fat. Would you take the risk (on her behalf)? Could you LIVE with yourself? thanks for the coffee though, phew!

well I would only do it if I was positive like if I knew the person we've all had the 'are they arent they moments' people are smart enogh to let it pass I couldn't live with myself if I didnt tbh.

One glass of wine whilst pregnant whilst preg I dont condone but would judge IYSWIM but 'having a binge' on a regular basis is a completely diff kettle of fish FAS is a big risk,
However smoking is a complete no-no it depreives a baby of of oxygen

it's SOOO not your place to make that decision for anyone else.

"I wouldn't serve a woman fags or booze tbh" Why on earth not? So you are not in fact "on the fence" at all.....hmm

do I have to explain :S

Because I dont condone giving an unborn baby FAS and suffocating it due to someones selfish decisions , like I said one glass of wine and hammering it are 2 different things.

it's SOOO not your place to make that decision for anyone else.

If I worked in a shop/bar im legally entitled to

would you serve a preg woman who already appeared, would anyone here serve a preg woman FAGS!!?? really

One glass of wine whilst pregnant I dont condone but wouldn't judge IYSWIM but 'having a binge' on a regular basis is a completely diff kettle of fish FAS is a big risk,
However smoking is a complete no-no it depreives a baby of of oxygen
Add message | Report | Message poster
GrumpyInRepose Mon 17-Oct-11 19:50

fixed

again it's not your place ffs.

giving a baby FAS, smoking is a no no. well don't do it during your own pregnancies then. stay out of mine. Anyway, they're for a friend, they're not minew, honest

What WAS the point of your OP exactly? You talked of "control" but you seem to willingly take on that role for yourself? Now you are serving up some kind of uneducated, unbacked up opinion. I'd rather you served the wine....

I had both wine AND fags when I was PG. Not lots, but not totally eliminated either. I gave birth to a healthy 8lb girl who is now top of the class. You can choose what to do with your own pg. I would never think to judge any woman for the odd indulgence, and if it was MORE than that I would be urging her to seek help rather than waving my judgey pants at her.

I didnt smoke or drink during mine tbh I do have a very if I can do so can you approach, drinking is one thing like I've sai quite a few times

Smoking ? surely no one codones that

I was simnply asking a question in the OP i'm entitled to my own views
I do agree someone telling you off for caffiene is insane, but alchohol

Uneducated, unbacked up,? are u drunk? all those scientists who research FAS maybe there just drunk who knows?

I'm sorry I cant understand why anyone would smoke during pregnancy, you can feel the feotus grasping for air up thats how I knew.

You are Not legally entitled to refuse to sell alcohol or cigarettes to a pregnant women just because you are an ignorant smug misogynist. It is absolutely none of your business, or anyone else's, if a pregnant woman decides to drink, smoke or shoot up heroin - or have an abortion at any stage in her pregnancy.

How would you know that if you threw your fags away the minute you found out? So you are not interested at all in a feminist perspective of the "control of women's bodies" at all. You are trolling imho. Night.

feel the foetus grasping for air?

inane

why am I trolling because I have a differing opinion?

Oh dear god for a second there I thought I was on the internet where freedom of speech was allowed.

I didn't realise valuing the health of unborn babies was smug and misogynisitc, dear I ought to tell all those MW,HV and CWP straight away.

And yes you can SGB i once worked in a bar where you could use your own discretion.

How would you know that if you threw your fags away the minute you found out? hmm So you are not interested at all in a feminist perspective of the "control of women's bodies" at all. You are trolling imho. Night.

well I could feel it when I smoked so I went to the doctors to see If my suspicions were right,

I'm leaving this thread clearly wasting my time with SOME highly ignorant posters who can listen to another viewpoint without becoming a frothing beserker.

I've listened to views on here that I personally dont agree with put I wouldnt pick apart person from person thats just wrong, clearly the the people who felt the need to do that to me dont know the difference between right or wrong.

anyway night all

Um - no - you are trolling because you came asking for a "feminist perspective" but in fact aren't interested in anyone's views but your own - which are quite mysognistic. I think that you would find that most people on the Feminist threads are not so ignorant and misinformed. And where is the "frothing"?

Well im not trolling

and maybe you should try actually reading my posts I dont pick apart others views personally on their personal views but I won't be bullied into not saying mine

I believe thats call silencing tactics, for a board that prizes itself on tolerance, allowing people to speak their opinion i'm not seeing alot of it here.

Again not agreeing with an unborn feotus being barricaded with alchohol on a regular basis and being barricade with poisonous toxins makes ma mysoginist? ok fine proud of it.

its probably you who needs to educate yourself on this word you keep throwing around with no real understanding of it.

I'm always completely bemused by this argument. Scientists have established that the greatest risk of birth defects caused by alcohol/smoking etc comes in the first trimester. Yet this is exactly the same period that many, many women have no idea whatsoever that they are pregnant. More than 40% of pregnancies in the UK are unplanned, and of those that are planned, women may not know straight away. I was actively TTC and still didn't find out until 6 weeks - halfway through that 'critical' period.

We are lecturing women on how to behave at a point when it's probably not going to make a huge amount of difference.

There is also a growing body of research showing how we've vastly underestimated the importance of things like both parents health before TTC. The quality of sperm can make a significant difference, yet there is no where near even a fraction of the drive to control the male parent's behaviour.

If we're really concerned about foetal health, shouldn't we trying to change society so that there is a much greater emphasis on family planning and effective contraception? Except that would involve far more men being prepared to either abstain or start taking responsibility for their own contraception, wouldn't it...

And sorry for the double post, but I just want to add something about smoking.

I used to be a smoker. I quit when I started TTC. Good for me. My friend didn't, but I don't judge her for it. I didn't need to - society and her own conscience are doing that well enough. She felt like a failure as a mother before she'd even given birth. How was that going to help either her or the baby?

Where does this idea that women who smoke during pregnancy are wilfully doing it to harm their babies? It's not about selfishness, either. Everyone knows smoking kills/massively increases risks of ill-health, etc. If you can't quit for your own health, why would you be any more likely to do it for anyone else? Especially someone that as yet has no name, no face and no character. That makes no sense as a logical argument.

Even though people may make very convincing arguments that they enjoy smoking and don't want to give it up, and IMO it is their right to control their own bodies, really it's more a case of being unable give up the things that smoking offers them (relaxation, stress-reliever, social network, physical pleasure). That's not something to be sneered at. It's the same principle as being unable to give up certain foods or certain ways of behaving that achieve a short-term advantage but at a greater long-term cost. It's something all human beings do, it just differs in mode and level of destructiveness, but it's rarely a true choice. There's a reason nicotine is considered one of the most difficult drugs in the world to quit.

Most women have tried and failed to quit and feel horribly guilty about every puff they take. It's not that easy, and the ease/difficulty with which every smoker stops is entirely dependent on the individual. Just because one found it easy doesn't mean it's easy for everyone else.

the question isn't even really that..it is about 'is it ok to exert influence over pregnant women over and above informing them of best practice' i would say not, myself.

a pregnant woman is an adult who is probably the most concerned person when it comes to the health of her unborn.

OP: BUt you did smoke when you were pregnant. You smoked for at least a third of the first trimester. Don't you think that was incredibly selfish of you, not to give up before you started TTC? Indeed, you are a wicked out-of-control woman to have smoked at all while of childbearing age.

Well i wasn't TTC i was a teenager (waiting for a flaming) I told appropriate action when I got symptoms not ignore it or simply refuse to stop

some people arent tho EAP some people don't care when there inside or outside them.

The reason I stopped straight away was if my dc had been born with difficulties knowing I had probably caused that I couldnt forgive myself.

Yes, indeed sgb. Any smoking woman of childbearing age who is in anyway sexually active is (according to the OP) behaving in an morally corrupt manner and are reprehensible. After all there is a small risk that they may become pregnant no matter how careful they are to prevent it.

In fact we should probably chain up all girls at puberty and force feed them a balanced, organic diet. Prevent them from learning anything (as good god, they may actually start thinking for themselves and desiring freedom), blindfold them and tape their mouths shut.