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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Facebook supports rape?

908 replies

MotherPanda · 04/10/2011 13:53

Have we a thread on this yet?

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/oct/04/facebook-hate-speech-women-rape?newsfeed=true

I am really shocked.

OP posts:
wamster · 06/10/2011 14:22

I think that the pre-disposition to rape is a like a virus that some men are infected with- I think this infection owes to men not being conditioned/taught that other people are separate human beings with rights of their own. The family unit in which they were brought up plays a major part.

With the cold virus, the person has to be infected with the virus in order to catch a cold. This is made more likely by going outside with wet hair, not wearing a coat, poor diet etc.

If, however, the person has not got the virus they can go outside with wet hair, not wear a coat and neglect their diet. It won't matter-they won't get a cold because the virus is not in their system!

Likewise, a man infected with the rape virus (pre-disposition to rape) when put in situations that present an opportunity to rape (AND get away with it owing to society's beliefs that a woman in bed with a man is 'asking for it'- NOT my view) will do so. Just like a cold presents itself when the body's immune system is compromised.

If, however, he is conditioned to treat women with respect, you can put him in bed with the most attractive drunk woman in the world and he won't rape. Why? Because just like you can only get a cold by being infected with the cold virus, men only rape when they have the mindset that their desires come before the rights of other people.

A man who is conditioned to respect women will not suddenly rape because of a facebook page, but a man who disrespects women will see it as justifying his already latent pre-disposition to rape.

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/10/2011 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Uppity · 06/10/2011 14:32

Alice, is this the research to which you're referring?

MotherPanda · 06/10/2011 14:32

Wamster, thanks for your input but it really isn't like that.

OP posts:
Uppity · 06/10/2011 14:33

That's interesting Wamster, what research can you refer to to back that up?

TheRhubarb · 06/10/2011 14:34

JV - he is a rapist when he assumes that he has a right to sex, which can even be before he commits any crime.

Every man is capable physically of rape - they all have a penis after all. But there are many men who would not even dream of having sex without consent, who do, believe it or not, have full respect for women and treat them as equals. The problem with this thread is that I don't think this is believed.

TheRhubarb · 06/10/2011 14:36

Ah thanks Wamster - you've just taken the onus off me and invited a whole load of trouble for yourself. Run!

(BTW, that was twaddle you know?)

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 06/10/2011 14:37

Grin Thank you, LeBOF!

TheRhubarb · 06/10/2011 14:37

LOL! Yeah ok, but that is not criminal profiling, that's a very unfortunate photofit. Poor guy.

starrywillow · 06/10/2011 14:38

Would everyone assume it wrong if in a situation like Uppity's, a man had awoken to find a woman with her hands on his penis as she masturbated him? Or would it be assumed that his consent wasn't needed in this situation? Because I can see that happening again and again in the same way as I can see the sad case of what happened to Uppity happening again and again. Would the woman be guilty of sexual assault?

Uppity · 06/10/2011 14:40

Of course it's believed Rhubarb.

But I totally disagree wtih you when you say that a man becomes a rapist when he believes he is entitled to sex with a woman. A man becomes a rapist when he rapes a woman.

Otherwise, you are in danger of sounding like a crazy extremist femniist finding men guilty of thought crime.

The sense of entitlement is the danger though, I agree with you there. But lots of men feel entitled but either have no opportunity or for some reason don't act on their feeling of entitlement. They're not rapists, even though they may think like rapists.

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/10/2011 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeremyVile · 06/10/2011 14:41

But he's not a rapist til he rapes. whatever thoughts he might have.

To be honest I just dont see what ou are arguing against. NOBODY is saying all men are rapists, not one person.

And actually one of the few places where "all men are X, Y or " is not tolerated is on the feminist board. Never seems to stop the accusations though.

AmorYCohetes · 06/10/2011 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Uppity · 06/10/2011 14:44

sw yes, that's sexual assault.

I recently woke up with a new lover whom I hadn't woken up with before and was tempted, but reminded myself that it is technically assault and I didn't know him well enough to know if he would welcome this or not. So guess what, I waited till he woke up.

Afterwards I mentioned it and he said he'd have been delighted, so next time go straight ahead. But you see, I got his consent first, because I don't assume I have the right to sexually stimulate someone I don't know that well, without consent. It's not difficult, it's easy.

TheRhubarb · 06/10/2011 14:44

Good point Willow.

Fair enough Uppity - I don't think I've ever been accused of sounding like a radical feminist before Grin Funny how threads go, you can be accused of being a rape apologist one minute and a radical feminist the next Grin

But yes, I see your point. However that sense of entitlement is dangerous as you have said. As well as raising awareness of what is rape, we also need to focus on providing education from school age, about equality and respect.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 06/10/2011 14:45
LeBOF · 06/10/2011 14:45

Well, I think we can certainly agree on that much.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 06/10/2011 14:47

School age? I'd say start from a lot earlier than that...

And no. You don't sound like a radical feminist. Extremist feminism =/= radical feminism. Stop trying to discredit radical feminists.

TheRhubarb · 06/10/2011 14:47

Actually if you believe that nothing is different between a rapist and the average man then how is that not even the tiniest bit anti-men?

And how is accusing me of not believing in rape victims or blaming them for their own rapes not accusing me of being a rape apologist. If anything it is slightly worse.

I have not dismissed anyone's experience any more that willow has.

LeninGrad · 06/10/2011 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRhubarb · 06/10/2011 14:49

OMG Dont you are a piece of cake - it was a JOKE to Uppity who said that FFS.

But because I took on the joke I am now discrediting radical feminists! Seriously?

I suppose you are going to take umbrage over my name now offending rhubarb lovers?

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 06/10/2011 14:51

No, uppity said "crazy, extremist feminist". Funnily enough, I can read.

You're the one who equates that with "radical feminists"

starrywillow · 06/10/2011 14:51

That people agree that it would be sexual assault I think is suggestive to the point that it's very easily done if you don't think it through, which is an uncomfortable realisation. You stopped yourself, Uppity, but other people wouldn't and this is what we need to somehow change. How ordinary people become rapists and people guilty of sexual assault without being monsters at all, is illustrated by both your experiences.