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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Deleted threads

438 replies

GloriaVanderbilt · 14/09/2011 16:53

Hello,

I just reported a thread started by 'Dittony' which had a title attacking another poster and provided a link to a blog post.

It looked like a few others had reported it too as they had posted on it.

However in A/C there is another thread with the same title, which when you click on it takes you to a page saying 'error: thread deleted at OP's request'.

The OP however would appear to be someone who posted on the first thread, but not the same person who started it.

So can anyone please clarify what happened here...assuming the second thread was not posted by the same person as the first, (which has now gone) under a namechange?

(really hope not!)

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 15/09/2011 14:15

Bob, I have explained my joke and my intentions, which I assure you were transparent. I really feel you are being unfair.

It was only a lighthearted comment. Obviously to you and to edd, there are some kind of conventions I do not know about, that I have transgressed. Obviously you do not want me to post in support of you. But I don't know how else to help you if you will not leave some of the extreme defensiveness behind and try to approach me in a reasonable, calm way.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 15/09/2011 14:16

I am sad to see you go, bob, and sad you misunderstood my friendliness.

I hope you will not mind me saying, I hope whatever the emotional issue behind this is, you can find support and help. I sincerely wish you well.

HereBeBolloX · 15/09/2011 14:17
TheCrackFox · 15/09/2011 14:18

Shame, Bob was one of my favourites.

Please tell me we can keep Ed?

Beachcomber · 15/09/2011 14:18

Oh here we fucking well go again.

I rest my case.

Shall I let you into the well known (by feminists) secret of how you can tell a good 'un from a wrong 'un in feminists circles?

The good 'uns don't get aggressive and personally attacking when feminists stand up to them. They STFU and try to make the massively hard leap in logic that feminist discussion is not about men, should not be taken over by men, does not need to be welcoming to men with nonfeminist opinions. IT ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU IN FEMINIST SPACES. YOU HAVE THE REST OF THE WORLD FOR THAT.

Easy peasy lemon fucking squeezy.

edd1337 · 15/09/2011 14:18

If it was a joke, fair enough. Forgiven :)

HereBeBolloX · 15/09/2011 14:19

LOL Crackfox are you going to kill Edd with kindness?

Do you have a capacious bosom you could smother him draw him affectionately to?

LRDTheFeministDragon · 15/09/2011 14:20

edd, that is very rude! I feel you should be apologizing to me for that very nasty and unprovoked attack!

It is very hurtful to act like this.

TheCrackFox · 15/09/2011 14:20

I have great tits and can whip up a lovely cake.

I am the perfect women.

ShirelyKnotSHIRE · 15/09/2011 14:20

I think this is about the 7th farewell post I've read of Bob's.

IT'S ALL VERY UPSETTING.

BecauseImWorthIt · 15/09/2011 14:21

Never mind, I'm sure there will be another one along soon.

BobBanana · 15/09/2011 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ShirelyKnotSHIRE · 15/09/2011 14:23

Thank you BIWI. You are very kind.

It's sad when someone feels they can't post what they want, where they want, when they want, why they want, how they want...sorry, what was it I was saying again?

ShirelyKnotSHIRE · 15/09/2011 14:24

THANK FUCK YOU'RE BACK BOB.

Please stop threatening to leave, it's so painful for me.

HereBeBolloX · 15/09/2011 14:25

Hey Bob you still here?

You haven't addressed the points that feminists have made about Pan,Adela etc. - all those men who aren't "lashed out at" because of their gender.

With reference to Beachcomber's post, would you like to think about that?

Thought not.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 15/09/2011 14:26

bob, that is a very aggressive post. I have told you how I meant my joke as a friendly gesture. I think you are having problems accepting that it is not always about the issues you are so hung up on. I had no idea you had been through such bad experiences, but I assure you, I had no intention to make you feel like a victim again. I abhor that idea and have myself often been in situations where I was hurt by other people's well-meaning comments, so I know exactly what it feels like. I feel I know enough about it to say, you must examine your own responses and reactions. This emotional upset and anger is ultimately only going to make you feel worse, and it detracts from what you want to say. There are people who can help.

TheCrackFox · 15/09/2011 14:27

Yay, Bob, you are back.

You need to stop playing with our emotions and make a proper commitment to us.

theothersparticus · 15/09/2011 14:27

I love this board, this is the only feminist board I post on because I have never been made to feel stupid for my views, yet this seems to be the only board where I have seen so much hate thrown at others. Stupid posts get out of hand and escalate into full-blown arguments.

I hate getting into the middle of things but Bob your ?No I assure you it's impossible, I'm a geek.? did come across as a bit entitled and sadly LRD?s comment offended you. Did those 2 posts really require 7 pages of hate?

Sadly Bob, your gender will always be an issue; you?re on a feminist board. Without patriarchy there would be no need for these boards and however enlightened you become, your opinions and experiences don?t come from the same place as the female members. I don?t mean that in a nasty way, it?s just a fact: You are a man; your experiences will be different.

I do wonder how long it will be before this thread gets deleted.

Beachcomber · 15/09/2011 14:27

I already told Bobbanana that gaslighting doesn't work on me.

Calling me a liar is a personal attack and something he has done numerous times here now.

Christ are we going to have to have stickys at the top of threads in the feminist section warning that they may be triggering due to the behaviour of some the male posters???!!! Angry

Oh the irony.

BobBanana · 15/09/2011 14:30

This reply has been deleted

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LRDTheFeministDragon · 15/09/2011 14:31

I do not want to condone any sort of criticism of bob. He is obviously very upset. It isn't easy to feel rational when you are struggling with emotional issues and I am very sorry my joke could not be taken in the spirit it was meant.

However, bob, I really feel that it's not a very rounded debate to want to restrict other posters from innocent comments and jokes. I am trying to understand and help but you are not making it easy for me - and I am on your side here.

HereBeBolloX · 15/09/2011 14:32

It wouldn't get you banned Bob.

Have you not noticed Edd?

He hasn't been banned and he's been, ooh, much worse than LRD.

Are you going to address the fact that Adela, Pan et al are not jeered at because they are men?

Do you think it may be something in your tone or content, that causes feminists to jeer at you? Not just because you are a man?

TheCrackFox · 15/09/2011 14:32

We love you really Bob.

Now why don't you stop taking this all so personally, turn off the computer and enjoy the beautiful sunshine? You can come back to Mumsnet this evening all refreshed and energised.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 15/09/2011 14:33

Bob, I think you are seeing things that are not really there in my posts. It was a perfectly acceptable comment many other posts would have found funny and friendly. I am sorry your situation is such that you cannot see this, but there is a limit to how much support I can give you if you insist on being so extreme about it.

BobBanana · 15/09/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn