How has radical feminist critique of vaginal intercourse influenced you?

[femtastic]

Has radical feminist critique of vaginal intercourse had any impact on you?

Have any of you been so swayed by it that you've given up penetrative sex as a consequence?

I wonder what happened to him to get him like that.

tee hee, it's a pity we can't send the MRAs over to the porn thread where the pornites are slagging off men (All Men Use Porn, All Men Are Liars etc). They are wasting their time on Feminism, really. I think next time we get MRAs on here we should point them to those posts.

Bah, I was hoping for an interesting discussion on the subject. Because it's an interesting subject (I'm with HerBeggs on this bascially - PIV is fine but not the only thing worth doing with a playmate).

Yes it is actually a genuinely interesting subject.

I was shocked to find recently that a friend of mine has practically never had what she calls "foreplay".

Her appalling husband perfunctorily kisses her, might kiss her nipples for 30 seconds or so, and immediately penetrates her.

And she is younger than me FGS.

It's like the sexual revolution never happened.

Sheesh HerBEggs :(

Yes it's a cruel trick that names all the other kinds of sex as "foreplay", as if they only count if PIV happens afterwards. This is why I never know how many people I've "had sex" with, exactly. I mean - what counts?

I never use the term "foreplay"

Penetration is not the be-all and end-all for us

In fact, I would say about half the term there is none when we have sex

good point.
foreplay is a silly word.

That's depressing about your friend HerBeggs.

Though some of the anti-PIV stuff you read just comes across as completely mental. For instance, there seems to be no awareness or acceptance that sometimes people have PIV because pregnancy is the desired outcome.
Or that plenty of men are not that fussed about PIV either.
PIV on its own is not much fun for either participant, PIV as part of the repertoire is enjoyable (for women) when you're in the mood for it.

I had heard that it was quite enjoyable for men too SGB

Although where I heard that i don't know, as a feminist I make a point of never talking to men, especially about seX.

cHILdren on keyboard hence random capitalisation

Or should I keep schtumand pretend seX is a brand new way of doing it that the MRAs haven't heard abou yet?

it's on radical feminist blogs

I absolutely LOVE penetrative sex! I'm not going to give it up just because some people don't like it. Then again, have always been bossy and forthright in my coital views, so I'm certainly not about to let someone bang away at the wrong angle, or finish then roll over and go to sleep.

Sex isn't (or shouldn't be) something that is done to you, it should be something that is done with you.

There have been lots of books on this going back to the 70's. "The Woman Question" Mary Evans Fontana (don't know date sorry) has a good selection of separatist, radical, socialist et al pieces including 'the myth of the myth of the vaginal orgasm' which is a reply to (I think) Gail Chester's 'The myth of the v.o.' Loads of research by mainstream sexologists eg
Masters & Johnson and feminist ones like Shere Hite have shown about 75% of women don't come from PIV sex. This work has had a great effect on my life and sexuality, all good in the long run.

It's not gail chester it's Anna Koedt. You may not get one but have fun trying!

Oh, but can we stick with PIV=sex for a minute longer, please? During my instructive marriages, I learned that my husbands only thought PIV was sex ... because this meant they didn't have to call what they did, with other women, "sex".

If I'd ever watched Jeremy Kyle, I would have noticed that his lie-detector operator has a defined list of "any sexual activity" for this very reason.

JK...the social barometer

LOL it's true isn't it - the PIV sex is the reason that Bill Clinton could say in all honesty about Monica Lewinsky "I did not have sex with that woman".

Because if you define sex so narrowly, you can get away with infidelity.

Interesting that Jeremy Kyle is more progressive in that sense, than Bill Clinton.

Interesting about PIV = sex and the reasons for it.

I have always felt that oral sex (either way) is more intimate than actual shagging. Yet it's not "sex". But then, it's not "foreplay" either. So WTF is it? Or does mainstream media prefer to look the other way

! JK for President?

Hmm just realised that my post is rubbish

Of course it can be "foreplay" - but if the man is on the receiving end and comes, then what is it? Not foreplay, and obviously not sex, as it's in the wrong place

Is sex always defined by the man having an orgasm? If she comes but he doesn't, does it count?

It's all a bit baffling isn't it

I vote for all-inclusive sex. (Not meaning that it comes with free food and drink)

I hate foreplay. It involves a closeness and intimacy that I can not feel comfortable with unless I have drunk copious amounts of port.