Please please talk to mw

[Terrifiedshakes]

Went for routine smear at drs this morning. It was horrible. Nurse said she saw a lump so brought in a gp to look. I very nearly passed out on the bed and went into a cold sweat, hyperventilating. Gp came in who said yes there is a lump. Obviously got referred. The nurse and GP was lovely. GP said she didn't know what it was but she's not a specialist and it could be so many things. Nurse was kind and apologising for the shock I was in

Background

I'm 33
Clear smear 3 years ago with no HVP present
No irregular bleeding

Fit and healthy female I can run 10ks with no issues.

Only issues I have is after sex and when I'm on period it can feel like my cervix wants to fall out. GP looked at cervix for this 12 months ago and said she couldn't see anything

I'm so worried. I've been goigling for three hours straight. Texting relatives. I've been sick and I keep violently shaking

I've two chikdren who I need to keep my head up for and my husband is being so kind and helpful and has come home from work but I can't stop shaking

I know no-one knows if I've got cancer but I've got 2 weeks to wait like this.

I got referred last Wednesday and had a call from the hospital Friday afternoon with an appt for the Monday morning. Obviously I panicked about how quick it was but I didn't even have to wait a week. Hopefully yours will be the same

Thanks Stade, thanks everyone. Thanks mum, thanks DH.

I appreciate you all and you all now know what I'm like when im worried. Im usually very cheery and witty but when health anxiety creeps in, the jokes go and I'm like this.

Dear OP - in the kindest possible way STOP GOOGLING. You're fixed on finding the worst stuff and the trouble is that people who post about health issues are generally worrying, newly diagnosed or having bad experiences. The vast majority for whom the scare turns out to be just that, or who are treated and recover, don't hang around. You're not seeing a representative sample and your brain is making you seek out the worst. I've been there myself and totally empathise - but for your own sanity get off the internet.

Hope so Violet. I've got a telephone appointment for this on Wednesday. No idea why! But if they want me to get out my cervix over zoom, I'll do it.

Has anyone had a telephone appointment before? Under Urgent gyno referral.

Why would I get a text link to book a telephone appointment in about this? The appointment is based at my local hospital over the phone!

Why can't they just read what the GPs's findings are and take it from there? All I'll be able to tell them is 'I think they said I have a lump on the top of my cervix'

I would think that the telephone appointment is just to communicate with you what the next steps are, to give you some information and possibly contacts for support and so on. Also to allow you to ask any questions that you may have.

Please do try to find something to distract yourself with, and leave the internet searching alone for a while.

I've had 2 two week wait referrals, one for bowel and one for skin cancer, I convinced myself I was going to die both times and both times it was nothing at all. The majority of two week wait referrals do not end in a cancer diagnosis. And also, without being insensitive, if it was cancer, you would deal with it. People get these diagnoses every day, and cope with it, you're catastrophising because of the unknown.

I had an urgent gynae call with a consultant. I'd been having unusual and heavy bleeding for a while and a scan had shown a thickened womb lining. The call was to discuss the next steps. In my case it was to discuss a hysteroscopy and to talk more about my symptoms.

A call will save you a trip to the hospital for a face to face.

Op are you sure the doctor almost cried?
They will see lumps and bumps every day. Cysts, fibroids and polyps are very common.
I mean this gently, but you may benefit from getting some help around your anxiety and catastrophising.

Ok, so i don't now know if i should be worried about this telephone appointment....

No she didn't cry. Just looked distressed and distorted her face when talking to me. Like very sympathetic. But she could see how scared I was and probably felt extream empathy. She was kind.

There's nothing worrying about the telephone appointment. It will be similar to what other people have described. Just talking you through the referral process, a chance to ask questions and so on.

Most likely a cervical polyp. They're very common.

The telephone appointment is to save you from going to a face to face appointment where they will get more medical history, tell you that they're booking you in for a colposcopy or hysteroscopy, explain the procedure and occasionally even give you a date.

I was referred for a lump on my cervix plus some ulceration, obviously I totally shit myself as I also struggle with cancer related health anxiety. The doctor I saw in the gynae clinic was lovely and said the ulceration was a harmless cervical ectropian and did a biopsy of the lump just to be on the safe side but it popped as it was just a nabothian cyst

As you and your husband are each other's only sexual partner it's highly unlikely to be cervical cancer as the vast majority is caused by HPV

Kindly OP, I suspect her reaction was almost certainly due to how distressed you were & how challenging that was to manage.

I think it's highly unlikely she was stopping herself crying, but you've interpreted it as such.

Of course you're worried & fear the worst. That's normal for many people in this situation. However, knowing this, you need to actively manage it - make plans, keep busy, get your DH to take your phone to stop googling. Perhaps allow yourself a small defined period to worry, then move on - clean the house, meet a friend, play with the kids.

The days will pass & you'll have a clearer picture soon. From everything you've said, it's very likely to be a reassuring outcome but we can't know for certain.

Take care of yourself.

It could be many things, if your smear 3 years ago showed HPV did you have a colposcopy back then? Cervical cancer typically takes quite a few years to develop, even if it's the worse case scenario (which is unlikely) then it'll be at an early stage. I actually know a.couple.of women who had cervical cancer and they're both fine. I know its easier said than done but please try to take it easy OP.

I also tested positive for HPV, 2 years ago. Unfortunately I had a small number of abnormal cells and had to have these removed via LLETZ, but when the bit they removed came back it turned out the cells weren't even very abnormal (only CIN 1 for which they don't usually advise treatment). So nowadays my worry is that this will weaken my cervix and possible cause complications in any pregnancies I have. I am like you, I catastriphize every time I have some health related going on but it honestly isn't worth it. You can make yourself ill just from stressing yourself out, I know too well. You're not alone.

Hi Lagoony,

My smear 3 years ago was negative for HPV and I have only had sexual intercourse with my husband, and he definitely has only had intercouse with me. We met when we was 15.

But I've now read stories of women with negative HPV smears 3 years ago who go on to develop cervical cancer 3 years later!

Yes it's a funny virus, it can sometimes clear , or I've heard it's suppressed by the immune system then can reactivate after some time, not sure about the medicine behind that but it's many people's experiences.
Most people contract it at some point but there are actually many different strains.
Remember the whole point in smears isn't to detect cancer it's to detect unusual changes that can sometimes later turn into cancer. Since you've been attending yours it's very unlikely you've developed cancer without it being detected at an earlier stage. In the very small chance that it is cancer it will most likely be early. But it might not even be that, there are many things that can happen to the cervix, please try not to worry too much. It's easier said than done though, I know because I'm similar to you in how I worry.

Well I slept last night, albeit vary late, I did sleep bit I've woken early and Reay am craving the reassurance from here so I'm re reading messages.

I know nobody here knows for sure what this lump is and I'm not sure why I'm here typing this. I'm going from terror to scared. I've got to get through the day, and the next and the next...

I can't Google anymore as I've googled everything!

I’m glad you slept well but it’s not ideal that you’ve come straight back to the thread for reassurance. When you have health anxiety, reassurance from others can actually feed the anxiety. None of us here can know what is going on with your health- you also don’t know until you’ve had your appointment.

Now what are your plans for the weekend? How are you going to keep busy and stop your mind from fixating on something you can do absolutely nothing about?

Did you have the HPV vaccine?

It’s unlikely to be anything sinister and if it is they have picked it up quickly and it is very treatable early on.

It is hard not to worry especially when you have little kids. I was always jumping to the worst case scenario when my kids were young.

You are getting treatment that’s the positive aspect you should try and focus on.

No I wasn't offered the vaccine

Thing is, I have no discharge at all this last few days, no smell. Infact discharge this month for maybe two or three days during ovulation. No bleeding. I'm bone dry down there atm..No pain. No bleeding after sex...

Just this random lump they found yesterday. I'm still in shock.