Please help. I am desperate.

[Rainbowl]

Been yoyo dieting for over ten years. Fatter than ever. BMI is 40. Size 20-22 and absolutely fucking miserable with it.

I hate myself. My self esteem is non existent. My marriage lacks intimacy because I can’t stand how I look and feel. I’m a terrible example to my kids. None of my clothes fit. The ones that do are cheap and nasty because I can’t afford to buy nice clothes that will probably be too small soon.

All I think about is my weight. Yet I cannot stop fucking eating. Chocolate mainly. All day. Every day. Constantly grazing on it. Binging too.

Oldest keeps asking if I have a baby in my tummy. I’m always the fattest person in the room. Fattest person in my extended family. I’ve even got a double chin now.

I have tried everything:
Slimming World
Weight Watchers
Slim Pod
Cambridge
Slim Fast
IF
Low carb
Calorie counting
Personal Trainer
Therapy
Not dieting
Brain over Binge
and various other things over the years I’ve probably forgotten about.

Had bloods taken to check for physiological reasons. Not on any medication. No answers there.

Nothing works. I can’t keep the weight off. I am an intelligent, successful woman in her mid-30s who loves cooking and healthy foods and yet cannot stop eating shit. I have a history of depression but other than being completely obsessed and miserable about my weight, my mood is fine.

I don’t know what to do any more. I can’t go on like this. I think I’m going to eat myself to death.

I did an e-consult this morning with the GP saying I was desperate for help. I hoped I’d get a same day appointment but it’s next week. What do I do? What do I say? I’m hoping they can give me injections or surgery because at this point, I’ve given up on being able to do it myself.

Has anyone been in a similar position and can advise please?

In the nicest way (because it’s not a nice thing to have in common at all really is it?!) I’m pleased we have each other as we do seem to be in exactly the same place, don’t we? Let’s keep in touch! Keen to hear how your appointment goes.

Thank you. I’m trying to think about it as one big number, instead of an amount per month, as you have here with the £600 figure.

I’m extremely fortunate to be able to afford it as I’ve decided to sell some shares that I’ve had for years now. They are now worth a lot more than I paid for them but I’ve decided my health is a much better investment!

Thank you so much, this is really appreciated. I’ll take a look at those threads.

MedExpress is £149 plus postage for starter doses. You can use code STARTNOW to get 25% off that. I've just moved myself over to them as they are cheaper long term. Actually, I've taken a screenshot from Reddit where someone has helpfully listed all the suppliers and their prices.

Voy is cheaper for first month then goes up to like £220 a month. So I don't think it's worth it personally.

Right so I’m having a wobble about Mounjaro. Where can I find some accurate info on the risks such as thyroid cancer? I don’t mind some side effects like nausea etc, but I’m not loving the idea of cancer as a potential risk (although fully appreciate obesity is linked to cancer). Are there any stats?

Evidence in rodents, none in humans.
I thought about it too, but semaglutide has been around for diabetics for 15 years. And I am 50+. And had I not lost the weight my older years would have been crap anyway, with higher risk of illness, pain and suffering, iyswim. A calculated risk, sure, because we don't know the long term effects yet. But that goes for a lot of (effective and life saving/improving) medications.

Hey! Just to echo the above poster - there have been no cases in humans. Just rats. This was a concern for me too as I've previously had cancer. However, being fat and all the inflammation that comes with that causes cancer. This is what I'm telling myself - when we are slimmer, we'll be healthier with reduced cancer/cardiovascular/etc risks.

After reading your post the other day I checked out second nature with mounjaro and they rejected me - no idea why. I tried another pharmacy for it and they accepted and I'm going to start Friday. I'm in the same position as you OP, except I'm about an inch shorter lol. I have spent the weekend reading the Mounjaro thread on here and looking for people on it on tiktok and elsewhere online (tiktok is actually a wealth of information for it!) and I'm now so excited to start. For the first time I actually feel like it's inevitable that I'll be slim fairly soon. I was scared to order it too, but once I did, I just became excited.

Good luck. Maybe we'll be Mounjaro buddies on the other thread ☺️

Rodent studies are useless because they get cancer from pretty much everything.

Being obese increases the risk of about 200 cancers. That's the way I've chosen to look at it.

@Rainbowl I do echo that you are at risk whilst overweight and having a lot of adipose tissue increases your risk factors for cardiac, cancer, strokes and that is well known, so anything you can do to reduce the risks is going to be good for you

Thank you all! I feel much better about it.

I’ve taken the plunge and have just ordered Mounjaro via MedExpress. With the upcoming bank holidays I’m not expecting it to arrive until next week, but if it does arrive sooner I’ll be pleased as I have a nervous excitement to get started.

That’s great @Rainbowl. I really hope it works for you with minimal side effects. Drink lots of water and eat more protein and fibre.

I’m sorry your GP appointment wasn’t more successful. I know just what you mean about trying to be honest with someone abut how you feel about your weight when they are as big as you. That happened to me once too with an NHS counsellor.

I may well be joining you on Mounjaro in a few weeks too. I’ve reduced my dose of Wegovy with a view to come off it and my cravings for carbs are back big time along with constant food chatter. I’m trying to up my protein and fibre to see if that helps. I would definitely like to lose at least one more stone.

That's great. It probably won't come until after the bank hol

Did the code work for 25% off?

Good luck with your journey. I'm sure pretty soon you will be wondering why you didn't start sooner! And any depression will be gone!

It did thanks! I paid £131.44 including postage so I’m pretty pleased with that.

I posted this somewhere yesterday I think ok but hear me out.

I had this epiphany when I heard this

The reason that we are more likely to quit things (like lifestyle changes) is that we spend so much time thinking forward and focused on the end goal that we lose all our motivation. Or looking back and being mad at ourselves.

The people who do stick with things longer term are ‘living in the moment’ and enjoying what they are doing or just taking one day at a time.

An example is just enjoying the elements of a work out/walk by saying things like ‘I feel strong, it’s a nice day today, my knees hurt less than they used to’, rather than ‘I need to do this every day for months, it’s so hard, wish I hadn’t let myself get this way’

The more you look forward ‘I have X stone to lose it’s going to take me x months it’s going to be really hard’ the harder it is to motivate yourself to keep going, and the more likely you will give up. You don’t get to see the benefit as it takes a long time.

If you do try to just focus on that day, that week, a small goal, you are more likely to see the benefit you were expecting to, so it motivates you to keep going.

I realise this is the first time I have ever managed to stick to something myself, and it’s because although I have an end goal I try not to make that my only focus.

Baby steps is an annoying term, don’t see it that way you aren’t a baby 😂. It’s like a jigsaw, you might need to take your time to organise all the pieces the right way round, in the right colours to get to the end result, but try to enjoy all the little things along the way. Practicing mindfulness is perfect for this. So practicing enjoying the moment you are in, and finding a positive from it even if it’s small. You don’t have to relate this to your weight. You can repeat positive things to yourself whenever you do anything, including eating at some point

So for you I would say:
you took a big step opening up to the GP
you also opened up to others here
you made a big step ordering the injection

Your small goal/affirmation now could be something like: today I am going to drink plenty of water and take some walks and enjoy the nice sunshine (if it is for you!) and enjoy family time at Easter.

I'm so sorry to hear the GP appointment didn't work out, you'd really imagine that they would prioritise access to effective weight loss medication rather than gatekeeping it. With the NHS it often seems the onus is on the patient to keep on and on about something until finally something "gives" and treatment is accessed. 🙄

Fingers crossed for the injections; I hope it will be the initial boost you wanted to get the ball rolling 🤞

Brill :) while you're waiting for it to arrive have a read of the Mounjaro threads to get as much info and advice. It is exciting to get started :) good luck again :)

Just had an email saying my order has been dispatched! I uploaded my photos this morning, I selected the slower delivery option (£3.95 I think?) and it said it would take 2-3 working days for someone to confirm eligibility and then it would be dispatched. So I’m feeling very lucky it’s already been approved.

It’s coming Royal Mail Tracked 24 so should be here tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

I’ll have to join one of the Mounjaro threads 🙂

This thread has been great to read today… think I’m going to start a Mounjaro journey too 🤞🏼

Microsoft found me this voucher code… on medexpress .co.uk

That's amazing! I'll try that next month!

Good luck with your journey

[Deleted]

Best of luck @Rainbowl - it's a process to commit to, with ups and downs, but my only regret over a year in and 5 stone down is not doing it sooner (but I just didn't really know about it.)
I'm not as clued up on munjaro as I am on Oz & W, but one thing I'd like to point out is that in order to set yourself up for success you can't/shouldn't eat 'as normal'. You most likely won't want to either (and high fat and high sugar foods can make side effects worse, ie nausea, diarrhea), but just try to lean into the appetite suppressing effect as much as you can. Make sure what you do eat has good nutritional value to sustain you through the deficit. My shopping list is totally different these days and I'm happy about that. But having said that, I've still treated myself and enjoyed meals out. But more like two cadburys mini eggs and not the whole bag ... the mind boggles, I know but I just don't "want" any more.

I never told anyone that I was on the jab, not even DH or my best friend. They noticed the changes in me and my diet obvs, but have always respected that I'm very private about my looks/body/shape and they 'let me do me'.
I just wasn't up for the questions, or potential judgement.
You should do what you want to do and what you feel will be best for you.

A note on exercise: I've been in pretty extreme deficit, around or less than 1000 kcal/day for 80% of the time for a year. I could have never done that with an active job, younger kids or if I was doing a lot of physical activity. There's just not enough fuel for it, and the extra stress on the body would not be good at all.

If you're on instagram, there's an American lady there with lots of experience, she talks a lot of sense, she is called: cgo of me (but underscores instead of spaces).

Three good hearty homemade meals a day

Nothing else

Has anyone had any experience after stopping the medication, I dont see much talk on it but ive heard you gain all the weight back after you stop, I get that its an investment in my health, and im really keen to try the medication as im struggling so much but I dont see the point if i gain it all back when i stop, then it does just seem like a waste of money?