Lazy pig seeks other lazy pigs to lose 1lb a week.

[Mañanarama]

Ok, this starts on Monday, as I have a steak pie and mash and yorkies to eat tomorrow. Will also heroically finish the Christmas chocolate so it’s out of the house. Once that’s all achieved, I’m good to go.

I need and must lose at least one pound a week until April. That’s about a stone.

Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Wrong. I’m basically fucking lazy, I hate exercise, hate going out in bad weather and am a total gluttonous food guzzling pig. And probably peri menopausal. And I sit at a desk all day. And a million other pathetic excuses why I’ve not shifted this weight in 2022 like I said I would.

I can’t be the only one who’s got sod all willpower, so who’s up to being fully accountable to this thread?

Lazy pigs like me especially welcome. Weigh in Monday morning.

Hello Oinksters! Well done to all and welcome new piggies, I'm loving the attitudes here and the cheese and day ham appreciation too. I've been having to cycle to work so sort of enforced upping of my activity levels which has helped (though if it gets colder I may lose limbs to frostbite on my way , does that count for weight loss?). Midweek weigh for me shows half a pound lost since Monday so I'll take that and be happy on target to lose my 1lb this week. I'd love it to be more but I've been so cold I need the calories to keep warm!

@BazingaBaby that reminds me of my aunt saying she needed to lose 4 stone for a wedding - she concluded that amputation was the only solution.

"Slowly slowly don't make yourself sad" 😂
I think you have just summed up my entire life philosophy

You’ll fit right in, then! I hoped the thread title would find me some likeminded pigs people 🐷

I've been Very Good today. I'm not hungry but holy fuck, the food cravings. I could eat a scabby monkey.

HOW can a piece of cheesecake have 500+ calories????? The packet's lying, surely? Its GOT to be a conspiracy.

@whatausername no word of lie, it got me a bollocking from the bishop once 😬 but most of the clergy I know swear (except DH, he’s far too Proper).

I fell off the wagon and had a fuckit moment and drank wine and ate chocolate cake with my mum when going to collect DD this afternoon. I am not in a mood to abstain today, I think probably PMS. Must get back onto it tomorrow though, which means I need to move the sleeping cat and husband off me and go and wash up my smug smoothie bottles and prepare my lunch for tomorrow…

Down a few pounds but realised I started weighing myself at the beginning of my period ...... BUT have have increased my walking and only had 3 chocolates. Its been a week, so could have easily(in my head) justified more, as a result I am patting myself on the back....

The cheesecake is drunk, don't listen to it.

I managed to start the day with a smug smoothie but unfortunately I forgot to bring anything healthy for snack time so I’m back on the biscuits 🤦‍♀️ I'm definitely premenstrual!

Also I want a cup of tea but left it too late and now Mass is about to take place in the room I need to go through to get to the kitchen. Boo hiss!!
(For clarity, not at home, at the church where I work!)

Pretty sure the answer is 90% per instructions on the packaging. Hope that helps!

This is such a clever way of understanding the 90% cocoa chocolate bars! Thank you @Mañanarama ☺️

It's my second day of Slowly Slowly Don't Make Yourself Sad and I'm a tiny bit sad from calorie counting but actually feeling quite proud of myself that I'm making an effort. Fortunately I'm such a whopper of a sow that I can still have quite a lot of calories each day, I just can't mainline Hobnobs.

Started that exercise malarky. It's alright.

Surely there's a bit in the Bible re. tea? Thou shalt not impede those in search of the soothing hotness?

This is an interesting development. What are you doing?

Yeah, what the hell are you doing? Eating biscuits on the sofa to recover, I hope.

Only kidding, well done! I haven’t left the house in days and totally forgot about my squats so zero exercise here. Had 1.3 bourbons earlier but otherwise only eaten egg and chicken today. Savoury rice for tea.

1.3 bourbons? My mind can't take that in. Which bit didn't you eat?

Pulling a hamstring I think :-/

Did some fast walking and weights. Taking it very easy as I'm starting from zero and had injuries many moons ago when i Took This Shit Seriously 🧐

One fell out of the packet and broke and a third of it fell on the floor, then somehow bounced back up into my mouth.

Well, that's just good housekeeping @Mañanarama , what were you supposed to do, just leave it there?

If you're going to pull a muscle on this thread the hamstring is the best choice, @whatausername . Keep it porky.

Exactamundo Hammy. Don’t want to facing a vestry mouse situation.

My garden has a mouse at the moment! It's adorable!

Veggie couscous and fish tonight in anticipation of tomorrow's post-exam drinkage.

What's everyone else having for dinner?

Pizza. But i have a plan! Instead of biscuits, I'm going to try and eat olives. Or lives, as autocorrect prefers. Anyway, this is my plan and it's going great since I remembered after eating some biscuits and then switched.