Lazy pig seeks other lazy pigs to lose 1lb a week.

[Mañanarama]

Ok, this starts on Monday, as I have a steak pie and mash and yorkies to eat tomorrow. Will also heroically finish the Christmas chocolate so it’s out of the house. Once that’s all achieved, I’m good to go.

I need and must lose at least one pound a week until April. That’s about a stone.

Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Wrong. I’m basically fucking lazy, I hate exercise, hate going out in bad weather and am a total gluttonous food guzzling pig. And probably peri menopausal. And I sit at a desk all day. And a million other pathetic excuses why I’ve not shifted this weight in 2022 like I said I would.

I can’t be the only one who’s got sod all willpower, so who’s up to being fully accountable to this thread?

Lazy pigs like me especially welcome. Weigh in Monday morning.

Is the first rule of PigClub that we don't talk about PigClub? 🥊

Absolutely!! We should probably have a secret handshake trotter shake.

How the heck* have you lost half a stone in a week - amazing!!

*Heck sausages is local ish to me and very tasty they are too.

Wow! Time for a username change I think 😂

Another piggie that needs to start over here. I had all the wine this weekend, a greasy spoon sandwich on Saturday & 2 Greggs pasties & a doughnut yesterday!! Blumming yummy they were too!

Thought I'd start with a weigh in to keep me accountable & I managed to lose 4 stone walking from one side of the bathroom to the other. I'd love to say that's my weight, but I'd better go with the higher figure.

My challenge this week is no weekday wine (that's like night cheese right?) & no unhealthy snacking. Also no being a big miserable piggie & then blaming that for eating all the bad stuff!

Well done everyone that's lost weight this week!

Morning Oinksters,

Being nosey, if you weigh each week, what's your usual day?

I've set Friday as my porker weigh in as I figure that I can then have a bit more of a relaxed Friday night ( but hopefully remain within calories) and then have the whole week to recover stay on track!

What works for others?

@whatausername was this you?

Brilliant 😂

She said the curry WAS worth it though!

@Inchstonesbeatmilestones

I’m weighing daily just to keep an eye on things. A few months ago I found out my 13 year old was weighing herself (and getting het up about it) so I took the scales out of the bathroom, which probably added to my downfall as I totally lost track of the pounds piling on.

Monday is my target day but I agree later in the week would probably be better!

I have now discovered that my excessively exercise this morning may well have been unnecessary - the battery was probably charged but the on/off switch was unaccountably balanced somewhere between on and off, which is why it didn’t switch on 🤦‍♀️

It's been that sort of morning 😆

I’m going to start measuring my waist to see whether I can make a difference that way even if the scales don’t move much…

Meanwhile the Revd has decided that the Vestry Mouse (I wish this were a parody but no, the vestry has mice) should become an honorary member of the Piggy Club - twice it has evaded the mouse trap but each time has scoffed an enormous fruit jelly topped with a bit of chocolate caramel! It must be enormous…

I lost 2lbs but then put it all back on over the weekend. The good news is there are no more Xmas Pringles left in the house.

Respect @vicaragechristmas For sacrificing your leftover Christmas goodies to the mousetrap rather than scoffing the lot to get it out of the way!

Something is all wrong. I am staying the same weight despite upping my exercise and cutting my snacking, alcohol and portion size. And I am not eating loads.

I am breathing heavy air, I am sure if it. Or my scales are wrong. (Cheap Salter, 2 or 3 years old).

P.S @vicaragechristmas That’s a lot for a mouse to tackle. Arrle you sure it is a mouse? And not something much bigger?

Like you, sleepwalking?

@poshme Whilst investigations are ongoing I can make no comment 😛

@vicaragechristmas try peanut butter (for the mouse)
They spend time licking it off which triggers the trap.

You obviously need a church cat.

If it were me sleepwalking, the (sleep)walk to church and back would work off the illicit calories 😆

@poshme I’ve made representation that we need church llamas before now (something to do with DH having grazing rights on the churchyard, under ecclesiastical law) but he might be slightly more amenable to a church cat!

I just took the shopping in and accidentally had two packs of hula hoops 🤦‍♀️ but I did cycle very hard this morning…

I do exactly the same for exactly the same reasons!

@vicaragechristmas

A church cat sounds fantastic as long as it doesn't turn out to be like mine, who I've dubbed pussy twat, because she's so stupid, she would just look at them!

@vicaragechristmas - LazyPigYoYo coming up....

@Mañanarama - I'm a nightmare for the all or nothing diet:

All the cake
All the red wine
All the biscuits
All the Pringles

Or?

Nothing

It is so flipping unhealthy.

@vicaragechristmas I used to love the Church Cat books. And the Vestry Mouse is truly my Spirit Animal!

I too identify strongly with the Vestry Mouse… 🐭

Well I fell off the wagon this evening by accidentally ordering a coconut milk hot chocolate whilst out for a cuppa with DH, so I shall try to be terribly abstemious this evening to make up for it…😇

Had a hot chocolate at between trains as the stations are outdoors and I was very very cold. Foolishly forgot to check the weather and was underdressed for the weather. One of my toes won't move. I figure the body's need for a hot drink trumps any calories.

1lb on for me. But i surrendered to the fuck it fairies all weekend as work is complete and utter shite at the moment.

New start today and instead of drinking all the wine, I had a bath. Would rather have had wine but I'm past the witching hour so not going to give in now.

It may be you’re gaining muscle. A good way to gauge is how your clothes are fitting.

Very normal to plateau as well at times.

Arghhhh so annoyed with myself. Today all I’ve eaten is:

Chicken
Ham
Boiled egg
A tiny bag of fish n chip crisps
A goats cheese and spinach omelette

Felt fine, not hungry. Well, my mouth was a bit hungry but my tummy wasn’t. And then I got annoyed about something and solaced myself (?) with the other half a box of rum truffles.

Why? Why do I do this? I was on target for a couple of chocolate santas later, but I’ve ruined my goodness, again. FFS.