Frugaleers - April 2022 onwards

[Not2bObvious]

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Maintaining is a real achievement happier I always think it’s actually harder than losing tbh.
life happy birthday to your ds! If MIL would just accept the situation, we’d be much less stressed but she is crying, hysterical, leaving DH abusive voicemails when he is working, 37 missed calls sort of business. I do feel so sorry for her but there’s nothing we can do, we can’t leave work to care for her. It’s a horrible situation.

we did cinema last night and dinner - lovely but calorific and groggy today.
Have a work event tomorrow and friends over for dinner on Thurs so many calories coming my way this week 😂

They’re is nothing you can do at all and she will have to accept it but it’s hideous while you are going through it

good food but too much today as interviews stress eating, going to Zumba in a bit

Mum has been transferred to the rehab ward near to Bob thankfully Gen ☺️
Sorry you are going through hell with your MIL 💐
Slo cooking is brilliant imho , l am going to be using it a lot more now because it's economic fuel wise to cook with, it's all in one pot and it's really tasty comfort food .
Life enjoy Zumba ☺️
Happier well done re your stable weight it's not easy!
Am not on it or off it really just muddling through but l did have a lovely bowl of home made soup for lunch which was so easy with my Asda soup maker. I bought it last Christmas and have only just started using it .
We are loving it, even my DH makes chunky soup in it ! ☺️

mrs I’m so pleased for you! We are waiting to hear tomorrow what the hospital want to do, they are assessing her again. It’s all very slow, she’s so miserable there and making everyone elsemiserable too. You can see the other ladies on the ward are annoyed with her, she’s so difficult!

I am absolutely flat out at work so no idea how I can get exercise in… answers on a post card anyone?! Will let you know how I get on with the SC this weekend mrs I’m planning a few recipes.

Gen there is nothing you can honestly do for your MIL , even when she was at home and well , she was miserable and crotchety and took it out on you and your poor Dh. She has to go in a home or have carers 24/7 living in.
Even l am going to step back from my Mums care when she goes home , there will be a package of care for her probably visits 4 x a day by 2 carers. I have to do this or else my own health is going to suffer even more than before.
I am so sorry sweetheart

What's your schedule like gen?

Started metformin again but debating ozempic if my gp will prescribe after seeing someone else lose 12.5kg in 3 months. My BMI is over 35 now

That must be frustrating happier

Your Gp sounds good imho Happier mine doesn't offer us a damn thing to help 🙄🙄🙄

happier I teach 9-11 and 4-5 every day then have some other classes slotted in as well most days. I always find I can get to gym if I have a couple of days where I don’t start until later than 9 but this sort of timetable means I leave the house at 715 and don’t get back til 630ish. I guess I’ll have to try and force myself to work out before work, which means getting up at 5am or working out in evening when I’m knackered.
lots of booze this week for various reasons so need to cut that back as it’s only making me feel worse.
mrs how is your mum?
life are you still managing the Zumba etc?

I’m doing average 4 classes a week, 2 aerobics one barre and one spin
2 barre if I can make it work
plus walking doggo and to the office once a week

not tracking food and no weight loss but thats ok for now. Last birthday today so can get less cake in my life from next week

life omg I’m exhausted just reading that. Well done you!! 😅

Ha none of it is arduous as still got hurt arm

Gen thank you for asking she is improving but not walking yet , we are going to get carers in for her when she comes home because she is going to need more care than we can give her . I don't know how long this will take though because there is a huge shortage of carers atm
How is your voice Gen l hope it's near back to normal sweetheart
Life hope your tennis elbow is getting better too
Food here is just static but given circumstances l am happy enough with that !

mrs we have the same thing basically with MIL, she wanted to go home but she’d need 24/7 carers and she lives quite rurally, so there were no live-in available at all which pushed the price up as it was all paid by hour so they quoted £3,500 a week! The home she is going to is £1000 a week which is still ruinously expensive, but she/we couldn’t have managed the carers bill at all.
she’s still in hospital- it all seems very slow, they keep saying she needs to be assessed etc, but it’s not clear who is assessing her or for what.

It’s a slow and expensive process in the care system.
I imagine either occupational therapy or adult social care will need to assess and then decide.

it’s tough for the families too so look after you

no weight today as a very carb day but back to it. My elbow comes and goes with hurt. It’s generally improving

Gen is there an option to exercise near school between 1 & 5?

My gp said ozempic will most likely be available through dps in early 2023 so I've to see how I get on with gynae & endocrinologist & if I can't wait until next year come back & she'll prescribe it.

Life I admire your zest for exercise

happier mostly just walking but I guess better than nothing? I could go for a walk without having to change and then shower and bring makeup etc in. I was thinking of signing up for class on Tues eve and then getting up at 5am on Thursdays for morning workout, then doing Sat and Sun, which would get me to 4 a week plus walks.

Good morning everyone ☺️
Gen given the circumstances of your Mother in law leaving everything to her grandchildren and owning a house to sell . I do hope you are not being pressured/guilt tripped into paying towards the 1k .
Please do not go down this route if you can possibly help it.
Life you sound quite knowledgeable about the system is there anything else you can guide us on please?
It's like a myre out here 💐

Gen l hope that was ok for me to post sweetheart. I am sorry if not pleas forgive me 💐.
l just care about you , however silly that sounds when we haven't even met. I just don't want you to be "forced" by a guilt trip into paying/contributing for the care home fee, when the local authority pay it until the person passes away if there isn't enough in their savings . I know about this because Bob's ndn had this happen recently . I realize it may differ in different areas though 💐

Sadly not mrs only from other experiences,
however if there is a house it will need to be sold but yy pay for nothing from your pocket and stand firm on not looking after her.
off everything is signed over to the grandchildren. It will very much depend when it’s done as they look back six or seven years, I think the called deprivation of liberty’s act.

Deprivation of assets, not liberties, got my act mixed up

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/

Thank you life that's brilliant information l had no idea about it .

That’s fine
lots of it is public info but only if you know where to look

there is a lot about capacity as well, if patients have capacity they get to choose,
if you can afford Heath, financial and lasting power of attorney (there are 2) before they lose capacity I would very much recommend it

social services in my experience will look to the family first to provide care so hold firm, a care assessment should be done

age uk are a good source of information

Thank you Life that is invaluable . It is also making me think of handing over our house to my daughters before we get to this stage tbh . They are not expecting us to look after Mum thankfully but she will have to pay for herself if she goes in a home , she already contributes £60 a week to pay for her care now. This is for 17.5 hours which is very good imho. My Mum needs more care than this now she will need several visits a day so it's more than we can do anymore . WE just can't cope with it anymore . l look at it this way, by looking after Mum l have saved Mum five and a half years of paying and now it's time for her to pay for herself unfortunately .