Husband gave me THE chat today

[Heartofstrings]

He did the whole "for your health" bmi needs to be lower speech. What a bugger. He came at me from a kind and supportive approach but was very categorical that I need to lose weight.

He is totally right. I've been trying to ignore and doing lots of comfort eating.

Now what the hell do I do

We are all very good at self-editing - which is why it's often an unexpected photo, or glimpse in a mirror, or a reflection in a shop window, that shocks us into realising how fat we really look/are.

@Umbivalent

We are all very good at self-editing - which is why it's often an unexpected photo, or glimpse in a mirror, or a reflection in a shop window, that shocks us into realising how fat we really look/are.

Omg yessss.

I looked down at my legs and that bastard brain did "Yeah, 12-14. Great". No, you grey dickhead.😂
I have mirror in a hallway now to stop this

@Umbivalent

We are all very good at self-editing - which is why it's often an unexpected photo, or glimpse in a mirror, or a reflection in a shop window, that shocks us into realising how fat we really look/are.

Yes! Zoom double chin spurred me into action.

A tight 12, yes. Maybe another 4lbs and I will no longer be a 12

Yeah... I mean I was expecting you to be obese not a size 12. The fact he sat you down for a chat about it over a bmi of 28 is laughable and I'd tell him to crack on with his PT and leave me and my doughnuts in peace.

@imalmostthere

Yeah... I mean I was expecting you to be obese not a size 12. The fact he sat you down for a chat about it over a bmi of 28 is laughable and I'd tell him to crack on with his PT and leave me and my doughnuts in peace.

Well it's clear that OP's weight was only going in one direction. Should her DH have waited until she was obese?

@imalmostthere

Yeah... I mean I was expecting you to be obese not a size 12. The fact he sat you down for a chat about it over a bmi of 28 is laughable and I'd tell him to crack on with his PT and leave me and my doughnuts in peace.

It's not if you read further and see op already has knee issues and more

Surely that's ops decision?

"Yes! Zoom double chin spurred me into action."

To be fair, Zoom gives you a double chin if you're looking down at the camera. If you lift your computer a bit it will be much better!

To be fair, Zoom gives you a double chin if you're looking down at the camera. If you lift your computer a bit it will be much better!

Yes...but I really had gained a lockdown extra chin!

@PurpleDaisies

To be fair, Zoom gives you a double chin if you're looking down at the camera. If you lift your computer a bit it will be much better!

Yes...but I really had gained a lockdown extra chin!

Well, I've got one too, but I think it's age and not just weight. I don't suppose there's anything I can do about it except invasive procedures.

@imalmostthere

Surely that's ops decision?

No one said it isn't. She can decide against weightloss. Even though she admits he is right. Sitting someone down and telling them they put on weight and it's not healthy for them doesn't take the choice away. Would be different if he locked kitchen

First thing I'd do is tell him to fuck off. I know when I need to lose weight and don't need him telling me. I'm only going to successfully lose weight if I want to, not if he wants me to.

If YOU want to OP then it's usually just a case of eating less and moving more, often dressed up in a diet plan. Personally I use My Fitness Pal app to track what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising. I find the daily target on there too low unless I burn a lot of calories through exercise though, so it encourage me to move a lot more.

For double chin I found regular massage works wonders😱 it's really good for the skin and with the amount I am losing I could be left looking like a turkey (nothing personal to anyone, I and my neck were just ultra fat) so I panicked and bought a face massager for few quid🙈 It seems to help!

Give up sugar altogether. Give up snacking. Main meal at lunchtime. No eating after 6:30pm. The 18 hour fast thing is useful too. All of these I had to do as I put on weight after menopause. Never had to think about diet before that!

Tell him to badger off! No one is perfect-I expect even he does things that are bad health choices. Your body not his,

Hi @Heartofstrings I'm part way through weight loss now, have been losing weight for the last 8 months and lost 57lbs so far, started at 233lb, currently 177lb and gone from size 22 - 14.

I'm 5ft 8 so need to get to 164lb to move into the healthy BMI range. I started at obese and nearly morbidly obese so getting to healthy will be one hell of a personal achievement.

What's worked for me is setting myself up a MyFitnessPal account and stringently logging everything I eat. That doesn't mean I'm successful at always hitting my calorie target, I go over fairly regularly but I log everything. It makes me think harder about whether eating something is worth it, or if I could switch to an alternative and still feel happy with what I've eaten.

I have reduced carbs because I have PCOS and because carbs tend to be high calorie and I can get more filling meals by switching out to veg instead.

I also do 3 x 30 minute workouts a week, sometimes to a brisk walk, sometimes a walk/jog, sometimes an OurParks Couch to Fitness video on YouTube, it depends how I feel.

At my current weight my calorie target is 1420 per day and I lose on that, it reduces as your weight reduces though, I started on 1690, so it's important to regularly update your goals in MyFitnessPal especially if weight loss slows.

We are all stuck at home during LD and many people have been eating more .The will to lose weight has to come from you .

Looking at the news today at a single mum of 5 children died at 42 from covid. She was morbidly obsese. The eldest child is now a surrogate mother to her siblings, its heartbreaking.

Being overweight is not healthy and OP knows that. Her DH is saying this for her own good, as OP admits. Hopefully he is as supportive as he is honest. Sometimes we do need someone who loves us to say what we don't want to hear

12stone at 5’4” is pretty hefty. It’s good that you’re tackling it. You’re going to feel AMAZING.

I was 13st 4 and 5’6” in Sept 2019, and joined WW. You do it all from the amazing app. It’s really fun, supportive and EASY. I lost 4 stone and my BMI is 20.8 now.

If I were you, I’d do WW, it’s so easy, then I’d get my soon-to-be-personal-trainer DH to sort my exercise.

@MacBookHo

12stone at 5’4” is pretty hefty. It’s good that you’re tackling it. You’re going to feel AMAZING.

I was 13st 4 and 5’6” in Sept 2019, and joined WW. You do it all from the amazing app. It’s really fun, supportive and EASY. I lost 4 stone and my BMI is 20.8 now.

If I were you, I’d do WW, it’s so easy, then I’d get my soon-to-be-personal-trainer DH to sort my exercise.

How long did it take you to lose 4 stone? That's an amazing achievement, well done.

@MacBookHo well done on ur loss! Agree WW is fab. I’ve lost over 2 stone with another 2 to go.
As a similar weight to OP I agree it’s quite hefty for our height. Those downplaying it, the OP is 2 stone overweight which is quite a lot when it’s already causing her issues re her knee etc. Sounds like the OP and DH are switched on, but some people here seem almost afraid to admit that this is a substantial weight issue. Some people seem scared/ in denial when admitting the truth about being overweight. For most shorter women, size 12-14 IS significantly overweight. You don’t have to be obese before excess weight causes problems. Good luck OP

I’d be pissed off if my DH sat me down for a chat about my weight when I was a size 12.

However if you want to loose weight then it really is just eat less, move more.

I’ve lost 50lbs over the last 8 months, very slow and steady. I use My Fitness Pal to track everything I eat and have a fitbit to track my steps. I’ve tried loosing weight many times before but have always quickly fallen off the wagon because I hadn’t committed to it fully. I had to get to the point where I really wanted to do it.

@Kattenzz

I'm 5ft4 and 170lbs. It's a bmi of approx 28.8

It's really interesting to me how different weights fit different clothes sizes.

I'm 5ft4, 138lbs and I'm also a size 12!

Agree! In 5'8, 170lbs and I'm a 14!

@GreyhoundG1rl - the first 2.5 stone came off quite quickly, in under 4 months, I think. The last 1.5stone took ages - almost a year? - but I was probably slacking off a bit by then. 😆 I didn’t mind that it took longer, as I just really enjoyed it. The recipes are lush and there’s a really lovely online community on the app who cheer you on every pound of the way.