Husband gave me THE chat today

[Heartofstrings]

He did the whole "for your health" bmi needs to be lower speech. What a bugger. He came at me from a kind and supportive approach but was very categorical that I need to lose weight.

He is totally right. I've been trying to ignore and doing lots of comfort eating.

Now what the hell do I do

Same weight doesn’t look the same on everyone. I have arthritis and osteo issue (guessing bone is a bit porous) and weigh quite little compared to how I look.

[quote MacBookHo]@GreyhoundG1rl - the first 2.5 stone came off quite quickly, in under 4 months, I think. The last 1.5stone took ages - almost a year? - but I was probably slacking off a bit by then. 😆 I didn’t mind that it took longer, as I just really enjoyed it. The recipes are lush and there’s a really lovely online community on the app who cheer you on every pound of the way.[/quote]
I'll give it a go

YES, this Talk, has to be done sometimes, it comes from a partner who is maybe worried about your health., If I had a partner, who ate too much, and had become fat, and blobby,, I would mention this big time.(I am not saying that You are blobby,) I just like the word blobby, !

@imalmostthere I went for my medical two years ago. am 5ft 6 and weighed 10 stone 8. I was told by the doctor your bmi puts you in the borderline obese category. I nearly fell of the chair I shock. I was a size 10 border on a size 12. you can be any size you want as long as you are healthy. for this op a size 12 is not. for me my size wasn't either. being in my late 30s was also testing as everything was starting to slow down. I thought I was grand but healthy wise I wasn't. it has taken me nearly two years to get down to 9 stone. now back in healthy bmi but overall so much healthier. I don't eat as much crap. sleeping better and mood is better. I also feel better in myself as my clothes are fitting better. not getting upset when jeans don't fit etc. then reach for my leggings and baggy tops.
everyone else here in Ireland we have a show on after Xmas called operation transformation. they pick 5 leaders each year and with a range if experts they allocate a meal plan exercise plan etc for them and their journey is followed for 8 weeks. it's huge here. they get great support. this year there was outrage as one leader who weighed 13stone for a man around 5ft 9. every other leader weighed more than 16stone. People were like he has nothing to loose he not overweight etc. but they picked him because he represented about 40 percent of the population. the ones that have about two stone to loose weight slowly creeping up life gets in way etc. he was barley able to do 10 press ups for the fitness test. and when they did his statics said if he kept going the way he was going he would wogh about 16 stone. it was very interesting following him making small changes bringing in exercise. he lost about 2 stone in the end bit it showed a good few people a shock of what people are denying themselves. yes I say what he said hurt however he sounds like he did it in the nicest possible way. as he is training use it to your personal advantage to kick start your weight loss. it's not a diet but a lifestyle change. Best of luck

@Wexone are your numbers correct there? Because the NHS BMI calculator puts your BMI at 23...

[quote sausagedogststandupandtakeover]@Wexone are your numbers correct there? Because the NHS BMI calculator puts your BMI at 23...[/quote]
I just wondered because i am just like 3 cm taller, maybe less and obese with me starts at 86kg.👀

my bmi was 24.3. I have the print out in my purse as a record from it to keep reminding me. combined with my diet and lifestyle at the time aswlel wasn't helping me

I don’t really understand why partners have that chat with their other half. Surely you know that you’ve put on weight and that your health is at more risk etc.

I should say I was borderline obese was what I was told. I was always a size 8 and never had a problem with my weight. could eat what I wanted in my twenties no exercise and never pit on weight

@Wexone that bmi is in the healthy weight range
Nhs says :

@toocold54

I don’t really understand why partners have that chat with their other half. Surely you know that you’ve put on weight and that your health is at more risk etc.

Surely they know they drink too much. Or smoke too much. Or anything else.

People should be able to talk about things that concern them with a person they regularly swap bodily fluids with🙈

@Wexone

my bmi was 24.3. I have the print out in my purse as a record from it to keep reminding me. combined with my diet and lifestyle at the time aswlel wasn't helping me

Did he mean borderline overweight?

I would be very concerned if my GP confused overweight and obese

You can see how messed up our view of what is a healthy weight and what is not is by some of the responses on this thread. Why is there an assumption that if someone is size 12 then they are fine? Being overweight therefore unhealthy happens at much lower numbers than people realise. I'm also 5'4", the heaviest I've ever been was 156lbs. I was a size 12-14 and I looked chubby. Even at 148lb and a a size 12 I look chubby AND my BMI is just into the overweight category.
OP I wish my DH had done what your's had when my weight crept up a few years ago. I actually had "the talk" with him quite recently as he's put weight on in lockdown purely because he's drinking more that he usually does. I'm worried about his health from a weight and alcohol POV, and am worried he'll go in the wrong direction if he doesn't get a handle on it now. It's done from a place of love. Good luck, OP

That bmi isn't even at overweight never mind obese

@Wexone

my bmi was 24.3. I have the print out in my purse as a record from it to keep reminding me. combined with my diet and lifestyle at the time aswlel wasn't helping me

Your doctor must have put your starts in wrong.

OK maybe she said it was borderline overweight. it was two years ago but whatever it gave me the kick in the ass to loose the weight. as I said never had a problem with my weight and it gave me some shock to be told I was heavy and going to damage to my health if I kept going the way I was going. now am alot fitter and healthier

If you are overweight it would be a good idea to make changes - but you need to be doing it for yourself, not your husband, so your heart is fully in it. From what you say you are not vastly overweight so some small changes should be enough to get you back into the healthy weight range. Best of luck.

To be obese at 5ft6 you’d need to be 13stone5.

I'm amused by the outrage at my husband. I have issues with my knee and husband treated a foot injury for me yesterday. Pretty much all coming from my weight. It doesn't sit well on my frame. He was frank but didn't go on at me. He just made his point.

Binging is my real problem. I know my eating is disordered. It's fine. I've just had a reality check. Is no one able to have difficult yet honest conversations with their spouses? Genuinely surprised

It’s not an easy chat but I hope my partner and I would have that chat with eathother if needed. Just as we might say to eachother: aren’t you drinking a bit much, or when have you last done some yoga/gone for a run? I love him and want him to be healthy and he feels the same about me!

It's easier to keep fit than get fit.

Unfortunately, I can confirm it🤦

I weigh 2 stone less than you and am size 12 tight.

I'm basically your twin, 5'4, 170lb, and can still squeeze into a size 12, although size 14 trousers are more comfortable on a long drive to work! My husband and I had a v similar conversation, and I took it similar to you. I'm not happy about my weight, was happy that my husband had noticed I wasn't happy and also happy that he was willing to help me out. No recriminations or burying him under the patio here, just a cut down of snacking in the evenings and fewer takeaways, as well as some gentle encouragement to ensure I use our gym and reach my 10k steps each day

He just loves you and he sounds like he's tried hard not to upset you.

Ok so look up an app like Noom and get doing it. Nothing to lose. He loves you and this is where this has come from.

I had the chat with DH. I couldn’t stand it anymore. He was just mindlessly eating and getting bigger and bigger.. I love him and I don’t want him to risk his health. I would hope someone loved me enough to have a word if my weight started to spiral out of control.