Husband gave me THE chat today

[Heartofstrings]

He did the whole "for your health" bmi needs to be lower speech. What a bugger. He came at me from a kind and supportive approach but was very categorical that I need to lose weight.

He is totally right. I've been trying to ignore and doing lots of comfort eating.

Now what the hell do I do

I'm 5ft4 and 170lbs. It's a bmi of approx 28.8

It's really interesting to me how different weights fit different clothes sizes.

I'm 5ft4, 138lbs and I'm also a size 12!

I'm 5ft4 and 170lbs. It's a bmi of approx 28.8

It's really interesting to me how different weights fit different clothes sizes.

I'm 5ft4, 138lbs and I'm also a size 12!

@Thewolvesarerunningagain

What? Why are people offering diet tips? OP if you want to lose weight, for you, fine. If my DH had told me to lose weight he’d be sleeping on the sofa.

In the op, in the second sentence she says "he's totally right" and then "now what do I do?"

So where your husband would be sleeping is irrelevant.

@Kattenzz

I'm 5ft4 and 170lbs. It's a bmi of approx 28.8

It's really interesting to me how different weights fit different clothes sizes.

I'm 5ft4, 138lbs and I'm also a size 12!

Totally! Someone upthread mentioned a weight approximate to mine and said 'a size 26'

I'm a 16

Thing is, isn’t it better that the OP start to lose weight at the point she is just overweight rather than waiting until she is obese and then morbidly obese?

If someone is overweight then they’re overweight. But truth is that the more overweight they become, the harder it is to get back to not overweight.

And let’s be honest, if you’re a bit overweight then you might buy the next size up, and as that starts to fit comfortably then you eat a bit more, until you go up a size again, and so it continues.

If people addressed their weight at the point they are heavier than they should be then we wouldn’t have such an obesity problem.

Similar to e.g. alcohol. if someone is drinking to much it’s surely better to mention it and address it at the point they are beginning to be dependent on it, not wait until they’re drinking themselves into oblivion every night.

If you wait until the person is obese it can already be too late. Plus it’s much harder to stay motivated when you have 10 stone to lose as opposed to just 2.

@Kattenzz

I'm 5ft4 and 170lbs. It's a bmi of approx 28.8

It's really interesting to me how different weights fit different clothes sizes.

I'm 5ft4, 138lbs and I'm also a size 12!

Clothes sizes are not a good guide though as they vary a lot between retailers (although not as much as people think on here - many retailers have reacted to criticisms of vanity sizing and there is less disparity now). It depends what kind of clothes you're wearing. If it's jeans or a fitted dress then that might be a reliable guide, but leggings & tshirts or anything with a lot of lycra then not so much.

Never an easy conversation to have OP. It sounds to me that if you look at your portion sizes and cut out unhealthy snacks (the comfort food you're presumably talking about) that might be enough on its own for the level of weight loss you'd be looking at to get down to a healthy BMI.

When my weight ballooned when I had my youngest DD that's what I did (I had about the same amount to lose as you - perhaps a little more). I was really surprised to learn that a portion of pasta or rice for me is meant to be 60g (dry, uncooked). I was having at least 5x that on average. I was also snacking A LOT on chocolate, biscuits, crisps etc.... so replaced those with olives, almonds, etc.... More filling and don't feel I'm missing out so much. Exercise I do a walking at home programme (Lesley Sansone if you're interested).

It isn’t obese but it is overweight, I still think the husband is approaching it from a health and caring perspective. Fwiw I’m the same height, my ideal weight is 115-120lb so 50 lbs lighter. I have a small frame, little pinhead and no boobs so my ideal weight is lighter than most people my height, I’m not saying that’s where the op should be. But if the op isn’t a serious bodybuilder she’d be healthier for losing some weight. Not trying to be snotty about it, I doubt anyone commenting is perfect and I’d be much healthier If I put on more muscle. Which I want to do as I want a healthy body.
So back to the plan- some good suggestions, what appeals?

Start now.
So you don't have to do every 5 kilo "If I started 7/6/5/4 years ago, I would have been down by now" like I do🤦

@Heartofstrings

He did the whole "for your health" bmi needs to be lower speech. What a bugger. He came at me from a kind and supportive approach but was very categorical that I need to lose weight.

He is totally right. I've been trying to ignore and doing lots of comfort eating.

Now what the hell do I do

Quite a drip feed to later announce you're a size 12

I can't see how it's a drip feed. 170lbs is around 30lbs or so overweight. That's a fair amount. I can post pictures of the fat rolls if you like

@Langsdestiny

I would just think my husband wasnt very bright. Everyone knows if they are overweight.

This always comes up. Everyone does NOT know they're overweight. It can creep up slowly on some people or they don't believe in BMI or whatever.

Honestly I’d be so pissed off. You know you would be healthier if you weighed less.

Don't mean to be rude but doesn't sound like a size 12 to me

@Kattenzz

I'm 5ft4 and 170lbs. It's a bmi of approx 28.8

It's really interesting to me how different weights fit different clothes sizes.

I'm 5ft4, 138lbs and I'm also a size 12!

I'm 5ft3 and I was a size 12 when I was four pounds away from the top of the healthy BMI. It's a bugbear for some people on MN if you say size 12s can be overweight, but it's obviously true.

@theageof

Don't mean to be rude but doesn't sound like a size 12 to me

Quite possible as she's only 5ft4 and maybe shopping in shops where the sizes are large.

As someone who is 5'4 and has been 170, I can testify that life is a ton better at 140. And not just for health reasons.

@Heartofstrings since he is training on PT get him to work 😁 saves some dosh.

Good luck and I hope your knee gets bit better soon

@Heartofstrings

I can't see how it's a drip feed. 170lbs is around 30lbs or so overweight. That's a fair amount. I can post pictures of the fat rolls if you like

It's a drip feed because it wasn't in your op

I didn't think my actual weight was relevant
I genuinely am 170lbs (well.... 169lbs) and definitely wear a size 12.

I'm just working at the moment but will take some pictures shortly

Fact is, my bmi qualifies as overweight. My scales don't lie about that

As he sounds like he is coming from a caring place about it I wouldn't worry that he has said something. He is probably just concerned with lockdown that, like most, you have put a few pounds on and doesn't want you to gain more and feel worse about a bigger problem. Especially with lockdown lifting and summer coming. Find something realistic food and exercise wise that you can stick to and go for it

Clothes sizes are so varied depending on body shape etc. I’m same height and 164 lbs, size 14. My target is also 140lbs. Felt so much healthier and looked better when I used to be that, which put me as a size 10.
I think your husband’s approach was sensitive and I agree that whilst not obese, those excess 30lbs make a massive difference to how you feel

Omg I could have written this, exactly Dane height and weight. Size 12 too.

Except I'm 4 weeks on. After crying and sulking for two days, because he said he didn't find me as sexually attractive, kindly, but still, I'm a stone down.

I've been exercising, calorie counting and not snacking.

It did make me feel shit but I feel so much better already, much more like me.

I think I needed telling tbh. I was in denial.

I’m the same height as you and reached 170 lb after I had DC2. I was a large size 12, pushing into a 14- I had a big moon face, multiple chins and my thighs looked like I’d been on steroids. I’ve since lost 2 stone and I’m still at the top end of the healthy range for my height, but I feel a million times better.

I don’t get people saying that you’re “only” a 12- if you’re 5”4, there’s a decent chance you’re overweight unless you’re very muscular.

DH never said anything to me, but tbh I agree with the poster who said they wish their DP had said something earlier. If DH had said something to me it would have been a massive kick up the arse to sort myself out, rather than take months to come to the conclusion myself.

I was very similar to you OP. Maybe slightly lighter, but still firmly in the overweight category. I’ve always done lots of exercise so didn’t particularly ‘feel’ overweight, but was always a bit shocked when I saw a photo of myself. Size 12, but pushing up to a 14. If I’m honest I probably just didn’t buy clothes if they didn’t fit me in a 12.

Did the blood sugar diet for 8 weeks (largely in support for DH who was obese). OMG it’s been life changing. Now about 59kg / 130lbs. I feel amazing and find it very easy to keep eating the same way (without the calories restriction). I definitely look back now at photos and think I was overweight. DH has lost about 3 stone / 18kg and is also astounded that he didn’t realise how overweight he was.