I've actively decided to STOP DIETING!

[Sweetheart]

I had a long chat with some female friends of mine recently that made me really think about why I'm ALWAYS on a diet. I realised that I have pretty much been on a constant diet for the last 20 years (my entire adult life) which made me so sad! I realised that I've never really been happy with my weight and how I look and to be honest probably never will be! I'm actually not even sure that how I want to look is even attainable.

So there it is - I've decided to STOP dieting. I'm currently not at my heaviest but not at my lightest either. The weight I am now I have been hovering around for about 5 months so I'm just going to try and stick at this weight for a while and learn to actually eat normally - not constantly counting everything, weighing everything, sticking to the god forsaken rules!

I've had a few scary realisations this week........1. I am so out of tune with hunger - when I actually want or need to eat.

1. I think about food all the time - probably because I'm so deprived. I asked dh the other day why he never eats anything after our evening meal and he told me he just never thinks about food - this was a revelation to me.....I think about it constantly.
2. I don't think I've set a good example to my kids over the years. It can't be good for them to watch mum eat a salad whilst they tuck into the normal evening meal........or to watch mum weighing and measuring every bit of food......or to watch mum have a juice / shake in place of a proper meal.

I'm hoping the freedom from dieting will teach me how to actually eat normally for the 1st time in my adult life.

The only things I am imposing on myself are:-
Plenty of water each day
Try to only eat when I am actually hungry (this is a tricky one to figure out)

Has anyone ever had any experience of this? Or am I just going to end up even fatter and back on the next fad diet?

Milliy I find if I tell myself I can have it I find I really don't want it .

exhamilton - bugger off and peddle your crappy tea elsewhere - we don't need it!

Helloooo...how's everyone doing?

Anyone? It's so easy to think it's not working and slip back into restricting food by diets, lifestyle change or fasting in all its forms. I have been walking a mile every day for 3 weeks now and I'm really seeing benefits. Feel more upbeat and fitter and side affect- jeans a bit looser.

Hi sorry I've been away for a while - I did reach my max limit weight wise so I really needed a reality check. I have reigned myself in - started keeping a food diary and really trying to go back to making sure I am hungry. i have put on about 2ibs a month since stopping in October and I'm not willing to risk putting any more on.

So I guess I'm counted as a failure now.

Also my father has been taken very ill and so things become much more difficult when I'm both working and having to be at the hospital a lot.

Your so not a failure Sweetheart but you have to learn to eat like person who's never had any issues with food, eating or diets. Someone who eats when they are genuinely hungry and stops when "satisfied " not full. It's a relearn situation. I have found myself doing this even more now I am exercising a lot.

I posted awhile ago that eating mindfully as in when genuinely hungry is the missing key to body led eating.

I've been doing awfully - I'm heavier than I have been in years despite only eating 2 meals a day. It's really knocked me sideways and I'm in a state of loathing my body.

TitsalinaBumSquash why have you only been eating two meals a day? And what have you eaten?

TitsalinaBumSquash if I ate only two meals a day it would be eg: a feta cheese salad with dressing and a chunk of bread followed by a chicken veg dinner. I would be losing weight on that. I eat a snack of flat white coffee with either peanut butter and apple or a couple of biscuits. Oatcakes and goats cheese. Cadburys creme egg in the evening.
Giving up dieting does require a period of allowing yourself all foods you love but you do have to be aware of true hunger signals. It works if you listen to them. If you overeat every time, every day then you are usually overeating beyond your body's hunger system. Most commonly you stay the same weight (or gain a little) then when you trust your body to make the right choices you stop being so bothered by food and start maintaining then losing. Its body led eating and when you have gone through the stages you will mostly be eating only when genuinely hungry then stopping and not eating again until your hungry again.

I eat usually brunch and then dinner because of times, I'm busy in the morning so make
Myself something at home when I get in about 11 and sit down and enjoy it in the quiet. This is usually 2 poached eggs on 1 slice seeded toast with a price of fruit and fruit tea, alternatively I'll have a smoked mackerel, boiled egg salad with spinach, water cress, rocket, tomatoes and cucumber and then some fruit.

Dinner is whatever the family is having, sometimes roast dinner sometimes spag bol and then I usually have a glass of wine in the evening.

I have a hot chocolate everyday but it's an options one with semi skimmed milk so not calorific.

I'm satisfied, not stuffed but not hungry. I get my 12k steps everyday and climb my 20 flights of stairs although my Fitbit claims I only burn 1700 a day so who knows. My clothes don't fit, I'm blobby and miserable, my sever fatigue is better though and I don't feel unwell.

TitsilanaBumSquash if that's all your eating and nothing else I'm very surprised your not losing weight or at least maintaining. Have you been eating all the foods you love? Chocolate, cake, cheese etc only it sounds like you are watching your intake? Just wondered.Do you like "Options " with their sweeteners in? I find them disgusting haha.

Sweetheart hope your Father gets well soon .

I do like options! it's something I drink because a full on hot choc can be a bit rich in the middle of the day and I like the mint one.

I'm not consciously choosing to eat in a certain way, sometimes if I'm not out in the morning I'll have a big bacon sandwich but then I'm full until late afternoon.

Anyway, it's my birthday tomorrow, I'll try and sort all this out afterwards.

How's everyone doing? I'm struggling at the mo. Been on antibiotics and now I'm better I can't get my head back on track. Eating whatever I want regardless of hunger. Any tips? X

Hail try eating whatever you want but when truly hungry. Maybe go out and do a special shop just for you where you can choose foods you love.

Hail also it's all about your mindset. You've been under the weather so don't be hard in yourself. Your body may have needed extra food to deal with it. Read some books like Beyond Chocolate and get back into feeling this way of eating.

Thanks Milly, I definitely need a food shopping trip. Stuck in a rut and food not exciting me at the mo x

Hail

I'm still reading.......

I haven't gone back on a diet but I AM trying to pull myself back in and regulate myself a bit more. I had gone into dangerous territory of eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted which was really bulking me out.

I'm hoping this is part of the process of undoing 20+ years of diet mentality - I've swung too far in the opposite direction so perhaps now I can learn a balance point.

A few breaks away coming up so I really don't want to loose too much control now otherwise I'll be a size of a house by the end of the year.

I have been doing this for 6 months now - am 8ibs heavier than I was when I started - I'd love to get to a place where I'm comfortable enough to step away from the scales!

I'm approaching 4 months but don't want to get on the scales. I know I haven't lost. Maybe when we feel the heat of summer we'll all want to eat salad with a passion. Although I haven't lost it's such a welcome relief not to be thinking about food morning, noon and night! Keep up the good work Sweetheart

Sweetheart 8lbs isn't too bad considering all you've eaten and enjoyed. I gained weight at first but now I do eat mindfully which is normal. I have no need to overeat as I buy all foods I love. Honestly. There is a difference between eating mindlessly and eating mindfully. It's the key. I've actually started losing weight recently but that's due to walking a mile every day.
My eating day is roughly:-
Cup of tea in bed and one custard cream
Brunch/lunch one slice wholemeal/sourdough with half a mashed avocado with squeezed lemon on, handful of tomatoes and cucumber/peppers
Filter coffee with mini bag of Cadbury mini eggs
Chicken with garlic butter, carrots, broccoli spears, peas, cauliflower, Toms and fresh parsley.
Tea and some chocolate
Lots of tea and water during the day.
This is one day but that's how I eat.

I have to admit - I certainly have eaten a lot of cake, sweets, takeaways and drunk a lot of booze in the last 6 months! More so than over the diet years. So I guess I deserve those 8Ibs.

It was my birthday recently and I have 2 years until a "significant number" so I'm thinking if I can loose 1Ib a month for the next 2 years I'd be happy with that.