I've actively decided to STOP DIETING!

[Sweetheart]

I had a long chat with some female friends of mine recently that made me really think about why I'm ALWAYS on a diet. I realised that I have pretty much been on a constant diet for the last 20 years (my entire adult life) which made me so sad! I realised that I've never really been happy with my weight and how I look and to be honest probably never will be! I'm actually not even sure that how I want to look is even attainable.

So there it is - I've decided to STOP dieting. I'm currently not at my heaviest but not at my lightest either. The weight I am now I have been hovering around for about 5 months so I'm just going to try and stick at this weight for a while and learn to actually eat normally - not constantly counting everything, weighing everything, sticking to the god forsaken rules!

I've had a few scary realisations this week........1. I am so out of tune with hunger - when I actually want or need to eat.

1. I think about food all the time - probably because I'm so deprived. I asked dh the other day why he never eats anything after our evening meal and he told me he just never thinks about food - this was a revelation to me.....I think about it constantly.
2. I don't think I've set a good example to my kids over the years. It can't be good for them to watch mum eat a salad whilst they tuck into the normal evening meal........or to watch mum weighing and measuring every bit of food......or to watch mum have a juice / shake in place of a proper meal.

I'm hoping the freedom from dieting will teach me how to actually eat normally for the 1st time in my adult life.

The only things I am imposing on myself are:-
Plenty of water each day
Try to only eat when I am actually hungry (this is a tricky one to figure out)

Has anyone ever had any experience of this? Or am I just going to end up even fatter and back on the next fad diet?

For most it's very true. I'm in my 50s and my weight is more now than my 20s and 30s. Also though we tend to move less naturally I think. I partied and was always out weekends when in my 20s then busy with kids in 30s then more sedentary in my 40s and 50s.

We are the same height and have the same physique, Milliy, and I store weight in the exact same places. Yes, Kim K has nothing on us!

All the Lols 😂BookwormMe2

Just found a blog called The Fuck It Diet and a book to go with it by Caroline Dooner. It's about how to eat like a normal person and there is a podcast too.

Book will be released next month

FFS!!! Had my child home sick from school today.....baked brownies and ate about 6 of them.....then had a snooze from the sugar intake.

Definitely not part of the "eat when hungry" plan!

Days like today I still definitely do not have control of my eating!

Ok...
.switch of mindset.....instead of looking at today as a disastrous right off I'm going to address the positives....

1. I still did a 30 min workout
2. I still drank 2.5 litres of water
3. I didn't resort to boredom internet shopping

These are all part of a set of goals I set myself at the start of the year.....not resolutions but more goals for the year.

It would have been so easy today to fail on every level....but I still stuck to some of my goals....

I did not reduce my alcohol intake....but it is valentines so the and I shared some wine over dinner.....I don't usually drink on a Thursday night but I had a dry weekend last weekend and a sit down dinner with DJ was totally worth it!

Were they big brownies? 😂
Sweetheart I get how you feel but sometimes we eat for reasons other than hunger as you did today. It happens. The brownies were used to get you through today. Let it go and just move in. Your positives are good gains. Tomorrow is another day. It's when we beat ourselves up about it that we are more likely to eat even more.

The tray I used to bake them was about 30cm x 45cm......they were about 2cm thick. I probably ate 1/4 of the tray.....?

Hi, I would like to join please. Have tried not dieting before, I remember buying Diet Breaking by Mary Evans Young in 1996, but I really need to try and get a handle on my eating now. I'm almost mid 40s (44) and heavier as I an getting older, although I am still a healthy BMI. I am finding it hard to let go of the dream of being skinny of weighing what I used to weigh, about a stone less than I do now. I know I need to be realistic but I would like to mend my disordered relationship with food. Have tried Paul McKenna but it felt like the hungry and fullness diet. Find it very heard not eat when I am tired, stressed, when I feel as if I deserve a treat and as an excuse to sit down and relax, know how fucked up this sounds. Just now I have eaten a full pizza, I was getting full but could't stop and I knew I was eating it so I didn't have to get up cause I am so tired. Am going to read through this thread and try and get a handle on it.

Hi Octapus, thanks for coming to join us! I've been diet free since October....yes I'd like to be smaller but I realised I was never going to be the size and shape I wanted to and I was making myself miserable trying.

I think you will find as you move along your journey that the eating because you are tired, bored etc will happen less and less......it sure takes a while....I am guilty of boredom eating yesterday! But it is sinking in, little by little.....and it is so empowering to be diet free

Octopus37 Hello. Am I right in thinking you have tried a lot of diets on Mumsnet? Recognise your name.

I personally do eat according to hunger. I love eating when I'm properly hungry as it tastes amazing but I do stop when I feel slightly satisfied rather than full. I don't like full.

How's the gym going Sweetheart

Milly, yes you are indeed right, I have been on lots of diet threads

Welcome to the thread, Octopus! I hope you find it useful. I was in your position about six months ago, where I'd tried everything, including the hunger and fullness diet. I'm at the stage now where I have admittedly gained weight, but my mind is finally relaxed and I'm making far healthier choices and naturally want to exercise more and biggest shock of all drink less alcohol. If you're prepared to give yourself a break from the mindset, you will eventually start to even out.

Milliy, was it you who said they'd tried hypnotherapy for this? I want to keep up the positive mindset I've now got and was wondering if a few sessions might help? I had hypnotherapy for claustrophobia and absolutely loved it (and it worked) so I'm wondering if it might have a good effect.

Sweetheart Those cookies are what your body needed in the moment - getting to grips with not dieting is a rollercoaster and indulging the odd craving will stop you falling off the wagon completely. I often re-read your original post and think how far you've come from – you're far more relaxed about not dieting than you were at the beginning and your attitude has really rubbed off on me!

BookwormMe2 yes I did hypnosis and it reinforced my hunger signals. When I'm satisfied after a few mouthfuls I get a feeling in the top of my stomach that lets me know that I can stop eating now. I know there are bloggers out there who call the hungry full signals to be counter productive but I would disagree. A major part of relearning how to eat like a person with no food binge diet issues is tuning into hunger.
I have observed people who don't have any problems and the rag whatever they want but stop as soon as they are satisfied, not "full". I'm now one of them. I order cake and coffee and I will most likely leave half the slice as the last mouthful didn't taste as amazing as the first. Yes I can continue eating but usually I don't want to. I will often wrap it up and take it home or put it aside and have it later if I want it. This is in my opinion the missing key and final stage to losing weight when learning to eat normally and stop dieting. It's how slim people often stay slim. It's your body's own well tuned calorie control mechanism.

They eat not they rag

BUT you do have to totally have let go of the diet mentality first. You need to have filled your kitchen with all foods you want and gone through the stage of eating everything and then replacing it.

Thanks Milliy, that's good to know. I've definitely let go of the dieting mentality - nothing is off limits to eat now and I've long stopped thinking about the calorie/fat content in food. I think I might look into hypnotherapy just to reinforce how positive I'm feeling. I want to hang on to this mindset forever!

Hi can I join you. I certainly need to get out of the diet mentality. I'm sick of diet plans, diet speak, healthy eating plans, exclusion diets. All telling you what to eat and how to eat. I can't stand them all they make me do is rebel despite years of diets etc I'm still overweight and if i think about the amount of money f money and time I've spent on diet books and joining fees to diet club it's embarrassing

nellyitsme 😊

I keep saying I need to change my name . Because I too tried this last year prob around same time as you op . Shame I didn't find this thread .
I have not lost any weight really but I am walking lots now and am noticing a difference. I'm not walking for weight loss but for my mental health really . I also gave up dieting for my mental health .

I eat what I want when I want but because of my daughter I do cook properly . I do have low days where I will eat to fill a void or for comfort but the difference now is I'm not stuffing my face because I'm starting yet another diet Tomorrow.

One thing I have noticed is I did have a muller light one day and I actually couldn't eat it . It was so so sweet and synthetic.

I try break habits daily so I might not watch tv for a day or I will shop in a different shop . Go on a different route walk . I have downloaded a magazine subscription to read something different, one with stories not diets and more diets . I listen to podcasts . This is all me trying to improve my life and not just to be about weight the whole time . I believe in time my body will adjust to a certain weight .

I do feel jealous when I see girls at work losing 14lb like a previous poster says but I don't feel envious when their whole chat is about naughty foods or they were bad at the weekend .
On the whole I feel completely liberated . I never want food at night time now and I don't think about food all the time anymore which I did .

cantstopeating01 nellyitsme Not dieting is liberating. Diets are so invasive in our society. People want to feel like children and to be told what to eat and when and how much. They think rules are the way to lose weight. They hand over the responsibility to someone else but ultimately they stop following the rules and rebel. Then we binge. Always the binge. When you allow yourself to truly stop dieting and listen to your body and be in the moment then you end up taking pleasure in food and stopping when satisfied. People worry that if they give in and allow themselves to eat anything they want that they wont be able to stop but if you are truly mindful and slow down, you wont overeat because you will feel satisfied. It has to be the food you truly desire as well. No point having a jammy dodger when you really want a custard cream (if you see what i mean).