BigMoFos Week 33

[WigWamBam]

I think the general agreement was that we wouldn't weigh this week, but I thought we ought to start a new thread anyway.

So here it is

Oh dear - how disappointing. Not nearly as awful as the last 2 years. Just a bit sad. You survived the day with her and SIL then?
It's reading MN that makes me realise that I'm really lucky with my ILs - they're very easy going, don't see dirt at all, and gave me a subscription to Vogue and a big box of Green and Blacks for Christmas. You couldn't ask for more, really, could you?

I survived it ... just about. It was made pretty obvious that I was the cuckoo in the nest though and I felt quite awkward. SIL made loads of pointed comments about MIL being their mother, she wanted lots of photos of MIL's first Christmas in the new flat, but I wasn't allowed to be in any of them because MIL is their mother. SIL is usually very nice but I think she must have had raging PMT or something because she was constantly spoiling for a fight and occasionally she went puce, her voice went up three octaves and she turned into a totally mad shrieking harridan.

Your ILs sound wonderful, Jackie ... would you swap next year?

Yeeurgh - sounds pretty stressful. Well done for surviving it all. Don't think I'll swap, if that's OK with you. They do have their bad points (the farting, and pretending it hasn't happened, the falling asleep and snoring a lot whenever they sit down, and the bickering with each other) but it's really quite minor stuff in the grand scheme of things.

Can't I even sell it to you as some kind of social experiment?

Nice try, but I'm not biting, m'dear.

Tsk ...

It was worth a try

MIL deliberately bought dd the same things as we did too, which really made me want to spit ... particularly as the only thing she gave her that wasn't a duplicate was something that I had bought, and the old bat snaffled from me.

Ooh - what a mean and spiteful thing to do. And what malicious forward planning that must have taken . What a cow.

WWB - that's awful... Can't believe anyone would do that

Meanwhile I really really need to get back on track eating-wise - had leftover trifle and after eights for dinner last night...

Knowing what she's like, you'd think I'd know better than to tell her what we'd bought! Luckily dd had opened all her presents from us first, so was completely disinterested in the ones from MIL - it seems that MIL thought we would bring all the presents to open there, so she could get hers in first. Dd actually asked her if she'd done it on purpose ... and if she's so transparent to a 5 year old, she must surely realise that I know it's deliberate.

I kept waiting for dh to stick up for us - to say something about the duplicated presents, and when SIL was huffing and puffing about me not being in the photos "because she's our mother" I so wanted him to say "and WWB is my wife" - I ought to have known better really.

Oh well, all over and done with now. Except the eating ... I daren't go anywhere near the scales, Dotty because my eating is completely out of control too.

Have to say, I have had the odd visit to the scales - it seems to vary wildly, so I'm just noting what's happening, and using it as a reason to gradually start working my way back to sensible eating. Not all the way there, just going in the general direction. How long does it take for food eaten to appear as weight gained, I wonder. ie, if I eat huge meals and snack all day one day, when does it appear as a weight increase on the scales?

Jackie - my weight gains always seem to happen the week after I've eaten too much - so next week when I go back to WW (Jan 4th...) I think will make for depressing reading. Not worrying about it too much for now though - I'm back at work tomorrow so will probably start to try to get my good habits back over the next day or two!

WWB - I've had the same kind of disappointment/bloody angry feelings with dp in the past when she's done nothing about what her parents have said/done. In the early days (well, we'd been together for 9 years...) her Mum would tell people dp had been in a relationship with a man and had got pregnant and he'd left her. Far more palatable than being with me... I went bonkers with dp when I heard (and she was playing along with it) and we agreed we'd never be able to survive if we started to go along with lies about our family - not fair on us or our children.

Anyway, MIL is much better now - has grown to accept our family make up (on the surface anyway..!).

Families eh - who'd have 'em???

I wonder if it's a generational thing, Dotty - the older generation don't seem to "get" unconventional or same-sex relationships at all, whereas I think our generation are a lot more relaxed about it all. My mother is approaching 70 and she used to have a real thing about homosexuals ("abomination" was her pet word), and she completely refused to believe that lesbians existed at all. And then about 5 years ago she started working for a gay man - and was completely amazed to find that he was totally normal - didn't have an extra head, didn't letch over everything in trousers - contrary to everything she'd ever believed. She now lectures me on how nice gay men can be ... despite having once ripped an Aids ribbon from my coat because of the gay connotations. I think she still struggles with the concept of lesbianism, though. Fear of the unknown, maybe? Perhaps amplified because most mothers don't believe that any man is good enough for their daughter, let alone another woman?

At least your MIL has come some way towards accepting your family set-up - even if it is only on the surface. MILs are weird, no matter what kind of family they belong with! I do think we'd all be far better off without them.

Evening all. Just checking in. Have missed you Big Mo Fos and been wondering about your Christmasses. Sorry yours sounds not exactly perfect WWB - I haven't been here long enough to know the ins and outs of your relationship with your MIL but she certainly sounds poisonous and I would also have been waiting for DH to step in with some sort of comment over being included in the photos. Is he oblivious, or is he reluctant to cause a rumpus, do you think?

My Christmas was not the greatest either. We went to my PILs and, although they are sweet and caring they are a) utterly negative about everything b) drop endless weighted comments about how they don't see enough of the grandchildren c) live in the middle of nowhere and d) [God this is outrageous, but I have to tell someone] well, I found them to be a little bit frugal on the food and drink front tbh!. I was actually HUNGRY on a few occasions over Christmas and had to keep helping myself to sweets and nibbles cos they certainly weren't making any effort to offer them round. And beckoning DH into other rooms and hissing things at him like "well, I'd quite like a DRINK, it being Christmas and all, so could you please suggest it?". The sausage rolls and mince pies were trotted out several times, COLD FROM THE FRIDGE FFS! no effort to heat them up etc. No butter or salt allowed on vegetables (MIL keeping an eye on FIL's cholesterol, but HONESTLY). I know I sound like a greedy pig, but then I am aren't I? If they'd been here for Christmas (which they have been plenty of times in the past) I feel pretty confident I would have been more generous and we'd have had more interesting and varied and PLENTIFUL food than we had there.

Oh well, rant over. I sound mean and spiteful, but I'm not really. Just feeling a little bit short-changed!

Oi, twoisenoughmum - you're not a greedy pig. None of that negative thinking here, thank you very much. My sympathies, though.

• what happened there then? Missed it all. Troll, presumably.

Yes, horrible troll.

Can anyone get me back on track eating-wise..? Back to work today and I'm struggling!

Dotty, I don't know the answer to getting your eating back in control but I wish I did ... although I've just weighed myself on a new set of scales that dh bought, and they make me 24lb heavier than my old ones did, which ought to be enough to stop me eating completely!

Twoisenough - Jackie's right, you're not a greedy pig. Positive thoughts, they're the only ones worth having (although I'm struggling myself with those atm).

WWB - that's a bit of a shock for you! But have you weighed on the old scales, to see what it really is? I keep thinking I ought to get some new scales, but am a bit worried about the inevitable jump in the figures that will happen.

Dottydot - maybe don't worry about eating the wrong stuff - just make sure you eat loads of the right stuff and drink lots of water as well. Start slowly, and work up to eating less of the bad stuff very gradually. Mind you, I did have loads of stilton and brie at lunchtime, so what do I know.

The usual scales say around about the same as they did before - maybe a pound or two more but certainly not 24lb!

I'm not getting on them again ... what I can't see won't hurt me Although dh reckons I ought to weigh myself on the scales in Boots, just in case the new ones are right so I know exactly what the damage is. I think he thinks that if I really am closer to 23 stone than to 21, knowing that will spur me on a bit more. It should do really, shouldn't it - that's a horrendous weight.

Good advice about drinking loads of water and working up slowly to eating better, Jackie.

Well there you go then WWB - you haven't put on all that much. If you could face going on the new ones you could just declare the next weigh-in 'week zero', and take that weight as a new starting weight. But I agree it would feel as though you'd put on loads, even though you haven't. It is just a number, remember... .

I know it's just a number ...

... but look how big it is 21 stone is one thing; almost 23 is another kettle of fish altogether.