I weigh 19st 8lbs - anyone else with a lot to loose?

[OhIAcheAllOver]

I have to do something.

I'm ashamed that I've allowed myself to get so huge. I've been in denial for years, avoided full length mirrors for years judging new clothes on how others say they look. I

I've downloaded MFP, brought a jawbone up2 tracker, got a pair of weight watchers scales, a pack of slim sip and am determined.

I've tried weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge diet, orlistat, and a dietician. The next step for me is surgery, which I don't want.

I started today, anyone like to share my journey?

Well done stumbly!!!

Lemon err photographing myself.... my lens would break!!

I'm another pound down. Just about to go under 19 stone. Coming off very slowly, but coming off so right direction!

Well done weasel!

I keep telling myself long-term consistency is key and that 'slow and steady wins the race'

Hello - Mumsnet first timer here, joined properly today after months of reading things posted via the facebook page. Hoping some direct moral support might help, rather than just sitting and reading the threads in isolation.

I am a mum of one, he is 15 months. I was always overweight before I had him but by some miracle lost my appetite and only put a stone on while I was pregnant (and then lost it with breastfeeding, which I've stopped now).

I just had myself weighed at the end of last week. I started to go to small group PT sessions about a month ago and only just got around to starting the goal setting stuff with the leader. My scales at home have told me I am hovering around the 17st mark for months, her scales said 17st 10lbs! I would've cried at the extra 10lbs but my emotion was actually 'well I can't feel much worse than I already do'. I'm only 5'3 so I would like to be 10-11st.

I have found the sessions really hard but am trying to persevere. The other 2-3 people in my group are always slimmer (and seemingly fitter) than me but not too off putting, I feel like the room is full of 'real' people - not shiny gym people.
That said, it's really bloomin' hard! I have burst into tears in the car about 3 times on leaving a session and one time I was actually full of tears whilst mid-plank and just had to try and sort my self out before I made eye contact with anyone when I stood up.

I just DON'T GET the rush of endorphins that I'm sick of hearing about. I hate exercise. I really do. I dread it but the only reason I keep going is because it recently hit me that I might die young and I don't want to leave my son without a mum. I'm crying now just at typing that. There is a strong history of Type 2 Diabetes on both sides of my family. I have PCOS but the symptoms have improved massively since pregnancy. Other than that there is nothing wrong with me, I am just lazy.

I hate diets. I have no will power and I love carbs only less than my family. If I could eat potato at every meal for the rest of my life I would be on cloud nine. I don't feel satisfied until I have had carbs in a meal. I can eat fruit and veg til the cows come home but until some dry carbs have been consumed I feel like my meal is incomplete (potato, rice, bread, crackers etc). My only saving grace is that I don't really have a sweet tooth.

I follow so many pages online which have motivational things posted but they just annoy me. Having recently read that weight loss is 20% exercise but 80% food I feel even worse about things.

So all said and done, I am hoping to be inspired here. Motivated into action. Even scared into it... yes, maybe shock will work...

Sorry for the super long post.. got carried away.

Hi FFL...

I can't bring myself to use your full username...because you aren't a fatty for life!

Have you ever done Slimming World? I am a fellow carb lover...I once tried to low carb and it made me feel very, very angry.

On SW potatoes, rice and pasta are 'free foods' and you can eat as much of them as you like. It's the only diet plan (and I've tried every single one) that I can get on board with and I find the weekly weigh in and group really motivating.

I also don't get the endorphin rush....but exercise at a small gym 2-3 times a week, mainly strength training as I don't find that as horrific as cardio.

Also it's with my DP who is a PT and has 10% body fat!

Hi, thanks for your replies, I realised after I posted that this wasn't a new thread and thought it might not have a lot of followers still.

I changed my username soon after.. I doubt you'll think it's much better but it's very very accurate. I'm sticking with it til I deem otherwise ;)

Anyway.. a friend tried to get me onto SW, it seemed really complicated but after seeing it mentioned so many times on these weightloss threads I am thinking I might have to go to a meeting to see for myself... maybe it just sounded complex the way she described it.

I am also hesitant about being able to follow a programme, I am still looking for that will-power chip in my brain and am excellent at making excuses.

I'm surprising myself at how honest I'm being here...

i think a lot of people have been very honest on this thread - much more than irl. its great and the support has been invaluable.

well done for jumping on the bandwagon - there are still quite a few regulars here.

i agree with Stumbly that slimming world might be your best bet - you get to eat with very few restrictions and it seems to work well.

Ahhh littlemiss - I know what you mean about annoying advice- usually from skinnies.
I totally eat my feelings too - and having such a young child it is hard to find time for yourself. Carbs are ok and necessary - someone advised my to up the protein which is more satisfying than just fruit & veg.