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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

BigMoFos Week 16

218 replies

WigWamBam · 24/08/2006 09:57

Nice, shiny new thread.

Winnie, come and talk to us over here.

OP posts:
JackieNo · 28/08/2006 09:07

Champs - we started off as the BigMothers, and hub2dee said whenever he read it he read it as BigMoFos, so we changed to that.

justamum · 28/08/2006 14:36

i think bigmofos is a cool name for the gang.
i need some words of motivation, it took me weeks of posting on here to actually feel in the "right place" emotionally to start eating well and not binge/comfort eat now i am back to square one partly because of my b-day etc, but mostly due to the upset in childminding arranagements. hopefully my new ccare will cost less than before but i irrationally feel angry and betrayed by my ex cm. i feel really frustrated with myself that i can't seem to manage without the emotional crutch of overeating

JackieNo · 28/08/2006 15:15

Justamum - I know what you mean, I'm feeling like I might be slipping back, but we both know that we can do it, because we've made a start and had some success once before. And if we do slip, we can just start again, with any luck from a better position than when we started the first time, iyswim. Not expressing this very well, sorry! I'm also trying to remember that this is going to be a long journey - possibly a couple of years, and to look at the overall trend from that point of view, not a week-to-week short-term one.

suejonez · 28/08/2006 16:04

Justamum - you're going to change the habits of a life time in a few weeks. You are going to over eat occasionally, IMO thats NEVER going to change, what has to change is your response to it when you do.

People who don't have a weight problem think when they overeat, oh I must cut back a bit now.

People like us that have a problem with food personalise it much more - "I'm such a failure" "I can't control myself" "I'm never going to be able to do this".

I don't succeed in losing weight not because we can't (we've all proved we can) but because we haven't learnt how to deal with setbacks. You CAN control yourself, you have proved you can, just because 10% of the time (probably more like 5% in reality) you struggle with it doesn't make you a failure, it makes you human.

If a stranger said to you 90% of the time I stick to my new regime (say going to the gym 4 times a week) and 10% of the time I don't - would you think "they're a real failure"? No you'd think gosh thats doing well considering they weren't going at all.

As I said to Dotty earlier - our single biggest problem is how unrealistic we are about ourselves. Also it amazes me how little we value what we do well and exaggerate what we don't do so well.

As Jackie said (slightly more succinctly) "we can just start again". Over the coming months (and in my case years), it's really going to boil down to just starting again.

My weightwtchers leader many years ago said to me that the people with a lot to lose who lost all the weight weren't those who lost weight the fastest o made the most changes or miraculously turned into a person who didn't have an issue with food. They were the ones who kept coming. Relentlessly. Who weighed in even if they'd put on weight, who kept coming even if they had several bad weeks in a rows. They were like the Energiser Bunny - they just kept going!

Thats what we all need to do.

suejonez · 28/08/2006 16:05

of course that should read - "you're not going to change the habits of a life time in a few weeks"

MamaG · 28/08/2006 16:15

Right. Want to join the BigMoFos. Have been invited

Is it general support and encouragement?

suejonez · 28/08/2006 16:16

Hurrah - I knew you'd crack in the end MamaG

MamaG · 28/08/2006 16:17

Is it a bit like AA? do I have to say

My name is MamaG and I am a BigMoFo?

suejonez · 28/08/2006 16:24

we're all doing our own diets (some in addition to going to one of the slimming clubs, some doing it on their own) but we can give advice on specific health, nutrition, calorie stuff and many of us are lifelong dieters.

Most (though not all) of us weigh on a Wednesday and email our loss to a central email address (this week its mine because WWB is on holiday).

suejonez at aol dot com

you don't have to say your weight if you dont want to, you can just email what you've lost. I'm pretty pen about it as in my case being honest about my weight (which is now down to 20st 8lbs) is a part of facing up to this problem I have with food and not trying to hide from it. But should do what makes you feel comfortable.

Everyweek the weight losses (for the week and cumulative) are posted then we start a new thread. No recriminations etc are carried over into the next week. Every week we start again.

At the beginning we encouraged each other to think of a habit we wanted to acheive in the short term. In my case it was walking up from a further tube station to work rather than getting off at the one close to work and stopping buying myself food to eat on the way home. Also I'd encourage you to have a short term weight loss goal - say 7 lbs or 1 stone. Most weight loss in the week is awarded the crown (can get ugly if there's a tie, particularly if JackieNo is involved).

Any questions?

suejonez · 28/08/2006 16:26

and if you found last weeks threads you would have found several from me saying "my name is surejonez and I'm a foodaholic, it's been 3 weeks since my last chocolate cheesecake..."

So yes, occasionally it's JUST like AA!

MamaG · 28/08/2006 16:28

I think you've covered everything! I'll email you my weight (not brave enough to post it on here!)

Feel a teeny bit proud of myself though, having a bit of a crap day but bought some dried apricots in the shop instead of the usual choc bar

I'm not following a diet yet - just cutting out the crap and trying to up the exercise, will see what the dietician throws at me...

suejonez · 28/08/2006 16:41

Why don't you think of some other small goal prior to getting to see the dietician? Say walk 15 minutes every day or something else that works for you.

MamaG · 28/08/2006 16:42

Yes, I'm going to walk the dog for 30 mins every evening after putting the kids to bed

suejonez · 28/08/2006 16:44

Thats a great start and the dietician will be impressed!

JackieNo · 28/08/2006 17:48

Welcome MamaG. And don't believe everything suejonez says about me - as I recall I offered to share the crown and it was snatched away from me.

Had a bad-ish evening last night - DH went to bed early as he had a headache (isn't that supposed to be my line?), and with him and the DCs in bed, I ended up picking at things. Found myself standing in the living room, with a spoon and a tub of coffee ice cream, just spooning it in mindlessly. Didn't have too much though (I would have done before these threads). But today I've mowed the lawn, and tried to have a swim - blimmin pool all taken up with classes, though. Did have a bob about. Once DD is back at school, I have a bit of time after work on Mondays and Tuesdays, so instead of coming home and Mumsnetting like I usually do, maybe I can take my swimming stuff to work and go straight from there to the pool. Good intentions, anyway.

MamaG · 28/08/2006 21:09

Thanks

Dottydot · 28/08/2006 21:45

Hi all
I've not had the best day today... Had my Mum and Aunty over and did a roast dinner - lamb, roast potatoes and veg. for the first time in a month didn't have a small plate and ate a lovely meal!! I didn't have any afters, or wine, so I wasn't all bad, but not as good as I have been...

But I'm back at work tomorrow which is a good thing, eating-wise, as I'm in a really good habit of buying a bag of grapes each morning on the way in and snacking on them at work all day!

justamum · 28/08/2006 23:12

well, i've just finished the last of my birthday chocs. i figured i might as well get them all eaten so can draw a line under the last few days and start anew tomorrow, there is no point in leaving them in the house or i'll just scoff 'em when i start flagging. I think ds is coming down with a cold as he slept for 2hrs this afternoon and still wanted to go to bed at 7 so that will be fun, anyone got any tips on how to cuddle a toddler and bf at the same time?
Hi MamaG, the great thing about this thread is that we all have "food issues" and completly understand what is going on mentally when we fall off the wagon (so to speak). I think the general ethos is that persistence is what counts and that we are all aware that we "emotionalise" food too much.
There are definitely deeper issues going on here for many of us that make it infintely harder to say "i'm going to lose x amount by x date" because there is a risk of failure in that approach. Far better for everyone to set achievable goals and to maybe simply say "by x date i want to weigh less than now" which is so much more managable.
I know for me one of my problems has been accepting this is a long term thing, i have a tendency to say "if i lose 2lb a week i can stop dieting by x" which doesn't really address that this has got to be about relearning eating habits for good.
I'm going to bed now because tiredness is definitely one of my triggers for overeating, g'night, thanks for support

Littlefish · 29/08/2006 09:17

I'm still here, but lurking and feeling v fat.

I've just spent the weekend with my family -

mother (anorexic/bulimic),
sister (ex model)
brother (stick insect)
aunt (judgemental & sanctimonious)
father (silent, but disapproving)

Feel very bruised and fragile.

I've got a day to myself to do some house cleaning. I feel the need to do lots of throwing away. I'll be back later (hopefully feeling better).

Families - who'd have 'em!

JackieNo · 29/08/2006 10:10

Oh blimey Littlefish - you have my sympathies. Hope today improves for you.

suejonez · 29/08/2006 10:45

Littlefish - the story of your sister (how ever lovely) being an ex Chanel model and an architect still has the power to give me cold sweats. If its any consolation I told my mum that I could see why your sister was a model if she looked anything like you. I thought you were gorgeous! And not just in a "its whats on the inside that counts" kinda way! You need to take a deep breath and think about how lovely you are and what a lovely DD you have (and probably a lovely DH too). And you can knit too. And sing. And teach. My god woman, if you're feeling inadequate, there's really no hope for the rest of us .

I do, in my saner moments, think that I'd rather be my size with the person I am than have the issues some of these people have (thinking of your mother father and Aunt in particular).

Hope you feel better about yourself soon. You're only overweight you know - you're not a mass murderer!

JackieNo · 29/08/2006 10:52

Good post suejonez. Just went off to have a shower, and was thinking back on the meet-up and thinking to myself exactly the same thing - you are gorgeous, Littlefish. And all the other things that suejonez lists too - so don't do yourself down.

Littlefish · 29/08/2006 13:54

Oh, you are all just so lovely. You are like comfort food without the calories, and you're the sort of comfort food that makes you feel full up for ages.

I laughed out loud at "you're only overweight, not a mass murderer" and have been chuckling to myself ever since.

Thank you for letting me be self-indulgent. I really appreciate it.

justamum · 29/08/2006 15:18

littlefish, i know where you are coming from on the glam family thing, my sister is always soo effortlessly sexy & stylish and has no idea. And don't get me started on my sil, she is not slim, but if i told you who she was you would understand my inferiority complex!!
I agree with everything everyone else has said, i haven't met you but if Sue & jackie say you're beautiful you can bet they're right. You teach and sing AND knit! if I could do one of those i'd be happy (my sister also does cross stich)

Littlefish · 29/08/2006 15:22

Thanks justamum - it's good to know that I'm not the only one!

Is your SIL well known??? Is she Fern Britten????? Is she Dawn French????? Is she Vanessa Felps (Littlefish runs out of celebrity role models!)