Bloody f**king nora. Just weighed myself and I want to die.

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

I can't even bring myself to type in my weight because I am so ashamed :(

I need to lose 3.5 stone before the end of May (going on holiday with a thin friend) I am doing My Fitness Pal (calorie counting) and I am going to do 1200 calories a day. It's brutal I know but then so was the reading on my scales this morning.

Effing Nora :(

I tried the Shred last year but I have a dodgy knee and it completely knackered it for ages. I'm aiming to walk more which probably isn't the best was to lose weight effectively but I'm not a gym/exercise class person at all.

Yes, I have a dodgy knee and I avoid level 2 of the Shred which seems to be particularly bad for those of us with knee problems. I go straight from Level 1 to Level 3 now! Luckily when I was at school I did a lot of sport, so I've been taught the correct techniques for the moves the Jillian does (or I can make a pretty good guess at what the correct technique should be!) so I've managed to avoid making my knee any worse. I'm not sure how much of that is dumb luck though! I'm off to bed now - I have a long day at work tomorrow whcih will leave no time to exercise, so I'd definitely better not fall off the wagon food wise!

Right, at the end of my first day. Found it touch. Got very very hungry after dinner but was narly up to my calorie allowance.
Had forgotten how hard this is. Ended up diving headfirst into the nutella with a tea spoon (and not logging that bit!!)

Will get there...

Log everything. Even if you go over. Even if you have to guess weights. It's the only way!
Thanks for friend requests everyone, nice to meet you all

Ok this the funniest and most honest thread I've ever ever read on mumsnet and I've been mostly lurking since 2009!
I weighed myself this morning and it was hateful, have put on half stone over Christmas so not good! I had have lost 2 stone since DD was born last year but totally lost my way as Christmas approached....the cheese eating celebrations began at the end of October
But I have made a start today and u lot have strengthened my resolve to get back on the wagon!
By the way that auto correct link was hilarious, was crying at masturbating, menstruating, meditating! Tho I might be slightly hysterical at the thought of the hard work ahead as DH says its not that funny!

Armpit snatches, back hamsters and hip slugs, begone!

Starting in earnest tomorrow.

OK I just read this whole thread and have downloaded MFP and put in todays food and exercise. I have 2 1/2 stone to lose, can't run, hate fitness videos etc. Will be walking a lot and changing eating habits. Got school reunion in June, first time back in 25 yrs so I need to look decent!

can't work out how to add you all as friends but please feel free to add me and I will ,make my diary public too Humiliation is good for the soul.....maybe.... My MFP name is panda101paws

I think you're all fab by the way! its no coincidence that fab and fat start with the same letter.....as do skinny and sad...

I also am a Munter. Took some very honest naked shots of myself on iPhone this morning in an attempt to slap my fat chops into gear. I was however so horrified by the fat old ( god I look old) dog in the shots, and believe me, they were foul, that I deleted them all.
Unfortunately, I went to take a pic of dd later in a shop and they don't quite delete, so there was the last shot of my fat gunt at the bottom. I could cry.
Lost half a stone in a month before Xmas by low carbing, and it was great when people started noticing.
Tried low carbing again today and sat resolutely whilst kids ate their lunch and had water, then caved over a fucking cinnamon swirl.
Back on the wagon tomozza.

I'm going to have a go at the 5/2 diet - so just 500 cals tomorrow and Thursday, but just eating normally the rest of the week so it's not one amount every day.

As long as my overall week has a deficiency then it's ok - I just need to make sure that 'normal' eating isn't being greedy or eating for the sake of it.

I think I may have PCOS but don't want to have the tests (my one sister has it confirmed, we think another sister probably has it too) - symptoms of too much body hair , bad skin, trouble losing weight...so it seems I need to lay off the carbs as well which is a shame as I'm a carb junkie

Pleeeeeease let me join!?! I have messaged some if you on MFP, need to get back on wagon. Lost 4 stone last year, sold all old clothes, put 1 stone back on and Must lose it (ideally 3.5stone let's be honest). Would like to be 10 stone when my friends start turning 40... Facebook pics etc etc.

This thread has cheered me up no end. I'm about to be fifty quite soon and feeling miserable about having turned into a fatty. Am def. delusional though as in my head I'm still young and slim(ish) however horrible Christmas photos have seen that idea off once and for all.

Don't discriminate between sweet or savoury snacking-happily eaten half a choc orange tonight followed by some tortilla chips.

SO-have signed up to MFP as snicelydoesit and if you don't mind will trawl this thread tomorrow for peoples usernames to shame me into keeping it up

maureenshit - how do you do salad ( no dressing) and protein at lunch when you are eating lunch on the go ie not at home?

And do you have carbs with your tea eg rice with your veg curry?

I meant to add something bups but forgot earlier .

If you want to lose 3.5 stone, then it is an exercise in futility to start at 1200 calories. As you lose, say, 20lbs, you have little room for manoeuvre. You're setting yourself up to fail.

Far better would be for you to start at 1400 calories and carry on with this for maybe a stone and a half and then reduce to 1300.

I'd also recommend moderate carbing. With calorie counting its very easy to have a day that looks like this ...

Breakfast - cereal
Lunch - sandwich
Snack - banana
Dinner - pasta

So - you may be on target calorie wise but you've eaten a steady stream of carbs all day. Far better is to keep carbs to one meal a day ( I do breakfast when I have porridge and berries ) and eat no white carbs at all. They are pointless wastes of calories.

Also a change in mindset helps. Try not to think in terms of ' days off ' as its not helpful. I'd also recommend revising your goal. Don't think about having 3.5 stone to lose. Right now - if you're for example , 13 stone 7 , set your target at 12 stone 13. It's achievable in a relatively short time scale and once reached it motivates you to aim for the next goal. Set targets for BMI and inch loss too- oh and take photos! I cringed at mine but the difference between then and now is astounding

Fb message me and I'll send you my mobile number and send you some before and after pics of me. I got to 9 stone in a year from over 15 and have maintained for almost 5 months now . Trust me - on seeing my before pics you're going to feel a whole heap better!

Stop looking at the number on the scales! It makes no discrimination between fat/muscle/water etc. Eat fat - good fat! Avocados, real butter (not chemical marge), eggs, whole milk (fend off osteoporosis in old age), olive oil, coconut oil etc. Smaller portions of carbs - and good one at that ie, whole grains, coloured not 'white' as in sweet potatoes/squash/pumpkin instead of white potatoes. And eat smaller portions of everything. Chuck out all the processed food and sugar. Eat tons of greens.
Eat this way and you not only enjoy your food more, you will lose weight, be much healthier and will be satisfied because you need the fats to feel full and satiated and for hormonal and mood balance. Check out 100 days of real food. I have been doing this and have added in exercise and I have lost weight (no idea how much, but I had to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe because my clothes were hanging off me!). I relapsed over Christmas, but surprisingly my clothes fit just as they did before. Good luck!

oh, and if you can, check out the documentary 'Hungry for change' it explains how the information we are fed as to what is healthy and what is 'not', is completely skewed. I watched it on netflix, but I am not in the UK.

Not a great day today, but not too bad either. I was in a meeting from 11.45am to 5.45pm, so I drank 4 bottles of water and ate a Mexican salad at lunch, but also went for a bl*y brownie cause I just lost the battle with my willpower.

I manage a low carb dinner to try and counter balance. And lots more water....

I am 43Spamm on MFP. See you all tomorrow. By the way, I am in the USA, hence why I am posting so late.

Carried. Tomorrow for eg I'm have ing left over ham. Chopped up onto bite size pieces with tomatoes rocjer and cucumber.

Carried. No carbs at lunch or tea.

right i have bitten bullet with MFP and have already written down a lot of what i intend to eat today

Jut weighed cereal its ahem 74g ( bran falkes in a hurry)

Morning. I have shredded and eaten some porridge. Raaah!
I have decided to only to weigh in on the days where i manage a big poo before breakfast? Y'know, for motivation.

I had 3.5 hours sleep on DS's floor last night. He's teething again, to coincide with day 4 of sleep training. Oh joy. I feel like shite. And today I'm fasting - so no sugary treats. I'll be in bed at the same time as the DC tonight.

at 'hambeast'.

What a great word Bups. I have never heard it before. Have you patented it? I fear you may need to.

Shiney get lost - you were NEVER 15 stone. I refuse to believe you. You are a wisp of a girl. A mere slip.

at fellatio. Well I sort of am now but I wasn't then that's for sure!