Bloody f**king nora. Just weighed myself and I want to die.

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

I can't even bring myself to type in my weight because I am so ashamed :(

I need to lose 3.5 stone before the end of May (going on holiday with a thin friend) I am doing My Fitness Pal (calorie counting) and I am going to do 1200 calories a day. It's brutal I know but then so was the reading on my scales this morning.

Effing Nora :(

Ok. There must be some explanation. You are 6 foot 7, aren't you?

Morning!

I have changed my MFP name to Atalune I am on there but with a crap profile and no picture...yet, but will get on it. I have friended some of you, will some of your friend me please? (lonely emoticon)

I am about to have porridge and banana for breakfast.

What happens when you go on MFP and get some friends? (currently it says quite damningly 'you have no friends'.

What do you do? Look at each other's profiles to see what you eat? Blimey.

I remember last february after I had been on a diet for 6 weeks, I had a mad bingefest on the contents of an all night garage and entered the lot. Thousands of calories of crap. I put it in MFP in order to try and put me off bingeing again!

Yesterday's entry:

7 shortbread petticoat tails (damn you christmas)
10 tuc biscuits
Turkey salad
Soup

HEALTHY

PMSL I have days like that Getorf. It starts off all worthy and goes pear-shaped at some point.

I get really annoyed with myself when I've wasted a bloody expensive Atkins protein shake for breakfast, and then had an almond croissant chaser.

Shiney - right - I've changed my goals to 1400 cals, based on what you said . But I don't understand why? Can you explain why setting it at 1200 to start with would equal failure? If I can understand^ the logic of weight loss, then I reckon I'll have a fighting chance.

Good to have so many of you on MFP.

My muesli this morning was 100g - I poured a normal portion then weighted it. FFS - that's over 2 portions. But 45g looked like a bit of dust in the bowl.

Sigh.

I dont weigh things! How do I know what a portion is, where will it tell me that. Bum, I knew I would be crapola at this!!

Shiney you do speak sense.
BUT you have to be able to let yourself off once in a while, don't you?? I have a weekend away coming up without boys, just me and Dh and he is taking me to posh restaurants

I did 5km at gym last night, first time I have managed that in ages. Kettlecise tonight. Food all logged for the day.

I got motivated after Miranda lost lots of weight. She was looking far more feminine and svelte than me. Not good.

I think I need to crash diet initially to show my body what's up and then I can adjust to a more normal food intake.

I have stopped boozing as well. It has nothing to do with my sprainned ankle from a boozey falling over. Nothing at all.

Do you find also that if you make one transgression (eaten sensibly all morning, then for some reason scoff a mini trifle) then you can't just chalk it up to experience and continue to eat sensibly for the rest of the day, but rather think FUCK IT and eat like a child at a tea party for the rest of the day, and start fresh the next day.

Why do I do that?

I agree with Maureen. No elasticated waists. Last year I bought a pair of duck egg blue skinny jeans and my legs looked so much like cold porridge in them it inspired me to keep at it. I never got any kick up the arse from wearing tights and woollen skirts, or leggings and baggy tops.

And there was a daft outcry about that Kate Moss comment, but I think it's a pretty good one. Eating that crappy muffin is a pleasure that will not last as long as a night out in a pair of jeans you couldn't do up last month.

Take what you normally eat, divide it in half. Then throw it in the air and whatever you manage to catch in your bowl is a portion. Apparently.

lol at Miranda

Pinot - OK... let's say you weigh 13 stone and want to be 9 stone. So, you start off quite happily at 1200 calories and the weight starts to shift. Eventually, the loss will slow down and plateau as your body gets used to its new calorie intake, so the thing to do would be to drop your calories to keep things moving and weight dropping.

If you have started at 1200 calories, what do you drop to? 1000? OK, so you do that..and great , another stone gradually goes. You then plateau again.... and it's not a good idea to drop to 900 calories as it isn't sustainable.

By starting at a higher limit you have lots more wriggle room. I used to be perfectly capable of putting away 3500 calories a day, no problem... < fondness for trifles, kettle chips, cheese and cakes > so I shall assume that some of you are similar. Therefore starting at 1400 or 1500 calories a day is already a big deficit based on what you usually do.

And the more you weigh, the higher you should start at. A woman weighing, say, 18 stone, should really start at 1750 calories a day. This would produce a good initial loss.

Ohhh gotcha. So it's about not letting your body plateau? Thanks

Morning chunks (and not chunks glares at Shiney)

Shiney, do you reckon I'd be onto a go-er if I alternated calorie intake like Hevak says, 1200 one day, then 1400, then 1600 then back to 1200? I fear that my metabolism is sluggish anyway as past experience with WW/SW says that I lose weight well for a few weeks then slow down the halt completely. Perhaps I need to keep my metabolism on it's toes?

Ok, have set myself a short-term goal and it's 1.5 stone. I know, it's still a lot but honestly, the weight I am... a few pounds would be like chucking a deckchair off the Titanic. :(

My stupid Blackberry is incapable of recieving picture messages. It just chews them up and spits them out for some shit reason. I will cry if I have to take picture of myself.

Fellatio, I shan't patent hambeast. It is free for all to use.

Incidentally, has anyone tried sea kelp as a metabolism booster? I have got a bottle sat on my kitchen windowsill but I am unsure of it. Can't find much info' online either.

Lizzy - I think of it like this now.... I never have 'days off' ..so if i was going for a meal out, it would be just that. Before I would think ' Oh a weekend away! I might as well just eat, eat , eat and 'start again' on Monday! '... and then it dawned on me that this way of thinking was not helpful.

I now < if i'm having lunch out, for example > enjoy the lunch and eat what I fancy. The crucial difference is that i will have eaten my usual breakfast and then won't eat again after lunch until I feel hungry and then I will eat something light to redress the excesses of earlier, if that makes sense.

I can't do photos either. I would tumble into depression.

Yes WHY do blackberries not let you recieve picture messages? What's the bloody point.

I am going to buy an ipad at the weekend.

You are so very, very disciplined Shiney love. V impressive.

Bups - no. no need to do anything like that. It doesn't 'confuse your metabolism ' or keep it revved up. Far better is to just eat three times a day, don't snack, no alcohol and no white carbs. Restrict carbs to one meal a day. Account for everything in a diary. Stick to 1400 calories. IF you do this for a week, you will see a shift in your weight, guaranteed.

It really IS that simple... although obviously complicated by our minds. I am not a doctor but i could almost guarantee that there is fuck all wrong with your metabolism. You just need to buckle down and get on with it!

No carbs for lunch either? So salads...and...? Can you share some meal ideas?

This is like the olden times shiney diet threads where we all used Food Focus and not MFP

Err, I haven't been disciplined over christmas

I just couldn't stand it any longer. I have been overweight since having DS who is now 6. I only have a weight problem when I get pregnant and then struggle to shift it afterwards.

I never could have imagined being 9 stone again and wearing size 8.. I really was pretty big and lived in leggings and tunics...always depressing as i have a love of clothes and make up etc... Dunno- just decided to give it a really good shot and it worked.

Shiney, what are white carbs? Is that like processed food?

So porridge is Ok cos it is a whole food?
White rice is not ok?

sea kelp yes I used it after my 1st baby. I think it did help. It is also an appetite suppressant. Win win.