Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

Hi all,
Just checking in after my weekend of hen nights and bbq's.......want to have a proper read through what I've missed since I last checked in but thought I'd just pop on to give everyone a wave first .............

at 2Noisy

PM week for me too - mood tends to make me more likely to snack sweet things, plus water retention. Not holding out a lot of hope this week, as not been able to exercise due to sick kids. I hope to dust off the cross trainer soon - managed to fit into my gym gear - bit lumpy, but ok.

Phew, it took a bit of time to read through all that!

Well, Friday night was spent in the neighbours garden drinking rose spritzers (VERY diluted, bloody love pink wine but unfortunately the only thing I can drink in any decent quantity is vodka, unless I want monster hangover ), and even declined a chicken kebab when the drunken phone order went in at 11.30pm [saintly face] but of course, Sat night was THE HEN NIGHT so the halo slipped a little .....damn those BOGOF cocktails! (and thanks AlpinePony re hold it all in underwear.........had an all-in-one slip thingy, god only knows how I wouldve looked without it!!)

Anyway, was good as gold yesterday conveniently forget the wetherspoons breakfast bloomer and am trying to stay focused again today.......time will tell tomorrow hey?

Am going to try to get back into exercise again this week as well, was doing the shred and going to gym twice a week, but thats kinda tailed off a bit over the last week...........got a reasonable excuse, as am having various tests at drs for chest and pelvis pains, but I feel like I'm skiving...........! Never thought I'd have a guilt trip about not doing exercise!

Anyway, enough about me, hows everyone else doing? Are we all looking forward to weigh-in-Tuesday?

What, tomorrow, you mean? It will be a blue eyed miracle if I have gained no more than 2 lb!

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! VERILY THE DAY OF DOOM APPROACHETH!

Right. Owing to being hungover and having had 4 hours' sleep I am getting An Early Night, so herewith suggestion re. tomorrow's Day of Doom (TM):

Instead of all individually posting your losses then leaving me to totally cock up do the Big Fat List from there, pliz could you all PM me tomorrow instead, then I will compile the list and the Big Fat Rankings from what you give me and post it tomorrow pm once they're all in?

That means we still get the list and the bitter envy and competitiveness but there is less chance of my making sixty-seven mistakes.

If you think this is a good idea y'all, remember we want three numbers: Target XX, Total Loss XX, Loss This Week XX. Don't forget to tell me if you're doing kgs; anything else and I'll assume lbs.

I'll put this week's Hot Loser at the top and indicate the overall Hot Loser with a star or somesuch.

And to keep it easy shall we set a deadline of say 4pm? Will you all have weighed in by then?

Lucks and slender thighs to all!

Same here colditz! Got a feeling these Tuesdays are going to come round all too soon!
Okey doke Bloofer, will pm you in the morning.

I will weigh first thing (after a poo hopefully).

Okey dokey pig in a pokey, now then loss seekers! (anyone? anyone?!).

Good luck for this morning - especially, and I speak largely for myself here, on the Big Morning Poo front .

I have just woken from worrying dream in which we all went and looked outside and saw fleets of strange and terrifying aircraft darkening the skies. Let's hope it's not prophetic .

Are you all going to indulge in that sanity-saving Doomsday treat?? I'm broke-ass today and DH is on the night shift so there'll be no exciting dinner, but I might eat TREATS at the theatre tonight.

Failing that food for today shall verily be:

B - eggy bread (HEB) (again! Am obsessed!)
L - Roast Vegetable pasta with feta on top (HEA)
D - lentil dhal.

And lots of fruit and yogurt along the way...

BollocksArseBuggeryBuggeryFuck

Diet fail! 1lb gain!

However, after the initial horror, followed by a sense of hopelessness and futility, I am now feeling motivated and positive. If I'm honest with myself, my diet was fairly poor last week (a whole pack of lemon bakewell tarts, anyone?...and that's just a fraction of the crap I sneaked in between healthy meals) so I am determined to be more strict with myself this week and cut out the junk altogether. I have to bare flesh in Spain in 4 weeks time, for the love of god...you'd think that would be adequate incentive to give the hot cross buns a wide berth, but apparently not...

I have lost over 6 stone, FFS...I can do this!

In the words of someone (the name of whom escapes me)...today is a good die(t)

Hoping you all have had a more successful first week than I.

Am I destined to fail at everything today? I even cocked up the italics...

Oh Fuck .

It's SO depressing. But a mere gnat's teardrop in comparison to 6st gone...

I've put on nearly a pound too. :(

mine was my first weigh in so no loss as yet - hoping for next week to be a good one... just need to find a method for my madness!

Just here quickly to wish a good day of doom to all. Will probably be much radio silence over next few days as we are taking my children to have quality time with their grandparents, and skulking off to spend all day on Mumsnet not usually considered good form there.
I will not be cooking for several days (hurrah!) (I love cooking but have got fairly bored of it all lately) so will try to eat healthily(ish) from what is on offer. Meals are always huge, but less oportunity for snacking in between, which to be honest is my downfall.
Thanks v much for the SW explanation Bloofer When I am back on menu planning duty I shall try following (broadly)
Will try to establish a starting weight in all this today and post at some point.
Rushing now. Svelte thoughts to all...

Sorry about the gains chaps . But! This is only the first week. Takes a while to sidle into the Way of Things. And it's always worth thinking of the CALAMITOUS gains that would have ensued if you'd not been watching things at least a bit.

Here's something Ever had an earworm?

I had a storming good week- which I am absolutely not going to crow about as this coming weekend is my brothers wedding in France and the whole weekend is filled with eating/ drinking plans. I predict a short glorious leap forward, and then a long fall back down the rankings.

I am also going to start taking measurements round my waist/ bum/ thighs for myself as I am certain sure I'm going to have shit weeks where I will need some number, any number, to look positive and cheer me up.

May all your scales report favourably (but commiserations for those saying it's already crap).

Pffthtt to the video...

Also, not that I'm at all doubting my skills to use the internets, but can you just confirm my PM worked? Ta!

I think my 1ib loss can be solely put down to my enormopoo this morning. Tmi?

Yes C4ro I meant to do measuring too and forgot. Good plan Stan.

Think that we just have to accept that, for the purposes of this thread, there is no such thing as TMI. The path to to weight loss is strewn with indignities...

as I have literally no concept of boundaries or person dignity in RL, I fail to see why I should adopt such an approach now

C4ro it did indeed work and I have replied??

personal Bloofer personalal

I am diving into studies for the duration, so pliz not to worry if you don't have responses to PMs immediately.

I will post The Big Fat List at around 5ish.

OH FFS!!!!

I weighed before I pooed.

I think that's a very good idea c4ro about the measurements, I downloaded an app to store mine. Should my phone ever be stolen I'll not be reporting it missing due to the S.H.A.M.E.