Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

How was your run cheep?

I have just eaten a whole packet of Boasters. Bugger. Things will change as soon as MrFC comes home.

Going shortly - in fact was just about to go and get changed / warmed up! (still not had snack... am hank marvin!)

did nearly 1.5 miles

well done cheep, I'm really hungry I need to go to bed before I raid the kitchen.

Yep, pissed again. That would be four nights this week. Blame Mahler for breaking my heart.

IWillCountToThree what news on the Hypno gastric band? How did it go? :)

GOOD MORNING YOU ORRIBLE LOT!

24 hours left before the Day of Doom (TM). Now I am deluded firmly of the opinion that you can drop at least 1lb in 24 hours, if you eat plenty of high fibre and senokot, spank it at the gym (or shagging of course and are generally Very Good.

I don't anticipate being anywhere NEAR the top of the list having got wankered 4 times in 6 days this week , but am going to try and drop that lb by going to the gym and eating a Red Day -

B - eggy bread, mushrooms and tomatoes (HEB)
1/2 pint of milk (HEA)
L - sardines on toast (HEB)
D - bolognese and lots of veg and prolly 1oz cheese (HEA)

That there 1/2 pint of milk went into a banana milkshake, which was a bit naughty, and prolly about 4 syns.

Can I just a bit and say how grateful I am to you all for joining in. I really do feel so invigorated and supported and less afraid of my thighs.

Ski is that you?!

Well my trying hard this week is looking dodgy on the scales. I "feel" tighter though so I may just have to grit my teeth and report no loss. Or, I could go to the gym tonight for a run. Time will tell.

bloofer Nope, not me.

Oooooo....

I feel tighter too NOT LIKE THAT really your mind is a sewer . Do you think there is any truth in this bidnit of heavy gym sessions making you gain weightier muscle mass, or is that just something fatties like me tell themselves?

Incidentally used an adductor machine for the first time yesterday and am walking like John Wayne with an STI.

Morning all!

Bloof I don't know if you have only just re-started exercise or have been doing it for a while as I cant be arsed to read through again but my SW consultant insists that if you are starting new exercise you won't reap any of the benefits weight-loss wise for the first week, and then hey presto! Svelte and gorgeous and SOW the following week. Just need to keep at it. No idea if that is true or not, but sounds good.
.

Well its a new week, the sun is shining, and I am determined to be positively SKINNY by Sunday. Bring it on!

That's reassuring Stix, ta! I have been gymming it for about a month, but this week has been properly menkul everyday-like, so I might be plateaued this week. Pliz to direct me to above reassurances when I have a colossal childish strop tomorrow morning

I've remembered I promised a breakdown of the SW principles to those who wanted them, so see below. Other SWers please add or correct as need be!

Essentially, food is split into 3 groups:

FREE FOOD, of which you can eat unlimited amounts
HEALTHY EXTRAS, of which you may eat set amounts daily
Syns everything else, of which you may have between 5 and 15 a day.

Additionally, food is split into RED or GREEN days, and the day which you choose to undertake will determine what constitutes the free food. I'll list some examples below:

RED DAY

All lean meats and fish are free (this includes smoked fish and tinned fish in tomato sauce). you can eat unlimited amounts.
All fruit and veg are FREE except starchy veg such as potatoes and sweet potatoes etc.

GREEN DAY

All rice, potatoes, lentils, pulses, beans, pasta are free. You can eat unlimited amounts.
Again, all fruit and veg are free.

Other free foods - free on both days - include fat free natural yogurt, quark, mullerlight yogurts, fat free cottage cheese, EGGS (the bliss!) most seasonings and stocks.

HEALTHY EXTRAS

On both RED and GREEN days you can have 2 Healthy Extras from the A list, and 2 from the B list. This ensures you have enough fats, dairy, calcium, fibre etc. I can't remember them all, but I'll list the ones I use most (I have lost my book!).

HEALTHY EXTRA A
1 oz cheese
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp tahini (I think?!)
1/3 pint milk

HEALTHY EXTRA B
2 slices small loaf wholemeal bread
1 baked apple with 1 tbsp mincemeat
various cooked or stewed fruits (with no sugar)
about 1oz muesli
small portions of various cereals

there are more complicated things like Extra Easy and there is far more variety in the Healthy Extras, but that's the basics.

Because like A TOTAL SWINGING TIT I have joined and left SW 2 or 3 times in the last few months I do have a couple of books hanging around. If I can find a spare I am more than happy to post it to whoever wants it. you do often find them up for sale on eBay too.

Afternoon Ladies

Blimey, 48 hours absence and just look at the amount of yakking! Good work, all!

Welcome to the new Losers?even if I am more a little envious of the weight some of you are starting at.

So, bingo wings?.yes, Bloof, they can indeed be conquered. I have a little bit of ?wing? which is valiantly holding on for dear life but a fairly rigorous regime of upper body strength training has banished the less resilient fat cells. It has only taken a few million bicep and tricep exercises in varying forms. The downside is that my upper arms would not look out of place on an eastern European ladies shot-putting champion.

C4ro, I have two dogs. High maintenance (but easy) one is a Newfoundland; the other is a git. You?d think dog walking would be excellent exercise but git dog is prone to expressing his independent nature by legging it. Therefore, lots of dog walking time is spent hanging around in one spot awaiting his return. Keep him on a lead, you say? He point blank refuses to walk. He weighs over 8 stone (big dog, not just fat but a veritable lightweight compared to my 9 stone+ Newfie)). Moving him against his will requires a stronger person than me, even with my shot-putter biceps. He?s a complex animal. Anyone who extols the virtues of pet ownership as being good for the soul wants to spend some time with git dog. That would give them a whole ?nother perspective on the matter.

Am not hopeful for DoD (Day of Doom (?)). Saturday was ok, even factoring in a 3 course meal because I burned a lot of calories interval training on the treadmill (and interval training keeps you burning fat for longer afterwards?don?t ask me why, maybe someone else can explain the science bit). Was out all day and snacked constantly (including ice-cream?deliciously full fat ice-cream) so completely lost track of calories consumed. Had a terribly important presentation and meeting this morning and needed chocolate to settle my nerves (gin would have been better, and lower in calories, but apparently frowned upon at 9am on a Monday morning).

Bloof, as I understand it, there is truth that packing on muscle will make you smaller but heavier (relatively speaking). From my own point of view, I am heavy (very fucking heavy) but I know I am a smaller dress size than some other people that weight the same, or even less than me, because I now have a lot more muscle mass than they do. Muscle mass is more dense than fat, so a pound of fat and a pound of muscle weigh exactly the same but the pound is muscle is smaller. I?m not explaining this very well at all, am I? Anyway, it can be useful to track your measurements as well as the number on the scales?I know from bitter experience that the figure on the scales can stay stubbornly static but my measurements show that I have lost inches.

Zumba for me tonight which, like a complete saddo, I always get quite excited about. I will try and squeeze in 20 minutes or so on the treadmill too just to make sure I counterbalance this morning?s chocolate fail.

With the DoD looming large, wishing you all a positive rest of day and pleasing figures on the scales tomorrow. Would it be too weird to wish you all nice big pre-weigh-in poos? Yes? Ok then. Forget I said anything.

Oh dear.

I've spent the weekend in Skegness with my children, and all the subsequent chipshops.

the scales Do Not Lie (except about my height, which they have pegged as 2 inches taller than I actually am)

they will tell tales about my chips.

Bloof, Just a note on youir basic SW principles up there:

Extra easy days on the new plan are not complicated in the slightest- Only 1 a choice and 1 b choice on the healthy extra's but you dont have to fark about with free food-it's all free. All lean meat, all lean fish, all carb heavy foods are free.

Sorry, have been swamped all weekend!

Hypno was v interesting, only about 45min session but i have another tonight. Don't feel as hungry but i'm still having probs knowing when to stop once i start eating! :( They suggest a few sessions before you start to see results.

We'll see tomorrow whether I've actually lost anything.

I'm doing extra easy as are all the members in my class.

Hi I will.
I've got my first tommorow then one next Tuesday. He said it usually takes 4 sessions. I trying to be open minded and am willing to try anything!
What was "Interesting" about it?

Hm, maybe I have written off EE as too complicated for my little brain.

Isn't there something else about how if you're doing it you have to make sure at least 2/3 of your plate is superfree food? Not that that is especially complicated. I'm just lazy

When I joined SW last week and the consultant told all 4 new joiners to do the Extra Easy plan for a month first before thinking about Red and Green days. She even made us staple together all non-relevant pages in our little green books so we wouldn't get confused, bless her.
I think that 1/3 of your plate should be veg or salad ?

Am not expecting big things tomorrow morning. I have been ravenously hungry and craving chocolate all day, I did have some 'choceur' from Aldi (classy :o), wondered why I had no control and then I got my period. Will try and get back to the celery but I think my first week has been a bit hit and miss. Will try harder next week but we shall see anyway, you never know!

Only that's funny! . It's kind of sweet but also why I don't really want to go to classes, as I don't like that sort of kindly patronising tone

Yeah 1/3 of your plate should be veg or fruit for each any every meal. But thats easy anyway.

Is it the pre menstrual week that's the bad one or the actual menstrual week?

Boo for weight gain? For me, it's definitely the PM one. Once the whole ghastly business kicks off, my water retention vanishes. Is so different for all....