Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

try these they will be suitably distracting .... here was it a serious article??

I'm very sorry duckymum - I did mean to say hello this morning then that gobshite bloofer waylaid me with her gubbins.

pixie Arf. I wouldn't say a thing.

bloofer I had another moment of clarity regarding exercise. Lunges (of which MrsFC appears to be a fan. The mentalist). Now I can squat with the best of them, over and over - I've got lovely strong leg muscles. But because of the, and I believe this is the technical terminology, Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down bodyshape, I find lunges difficult. My balance is terrible. Split my legs box style and of course you can lean back, lean to one side, bend over and touch the ground. Scissors splits and I fall over. Boo's bodybalance class is good for practising this, if you don't mind being shown up by middle-aged hippies and pensioners of course.

B: greek yoghurt, blueberries, dash of honey
L: roasted goat's cheese, sun-dried toms, baby toms, pinenuts, honey, balsalmic, olive oil on a bed of rocket
3 squares of 72% chocolate
D: salmon & roasted veg (no carby veg obv.). Kwark + fruit.

I fear bloofer's too young for deelyboppers.

MrsFC At 5'10" and that weight you are positively svelte!

Mrs FC you are 1 inch shorter than me and 7 stones lighter than me-your weight is almost my target weight :)

just checked her age on her profile and if she is being honest Pony indeed she my be too young, I on the other hand remember deeley boppers and pixie boots the 1st time around. wanders off to look for zimmer frame.

Forgot to say I did cycling yesterday, not a proper ride as it was only to the hair dressers and back but 6 miles and a reasonable pace wasn't too bad. Then I resisted cake at a coffee thing at the village hall.

With or without your ra-ra skirt? Jelly shoes (and bag) for summer obviously!

Har har Hedgepig I might get me summa them! Though I fear it would not fit perfectly within the publication's ethos. Photo duly done and I look like a simpering good-natured fat teaching assistant in a posh primary school. I look like the sort of person you could trust to know how to use vinegar to clean a grimy window, and who irons their tea-towels. Obviously in my head I look like a cross between Dylan Thomas and a blonde Joan Jett - talk about cognitive dissonance (I think....).

Pony as always I want your lunch please!

Oh my. I have just purchased an ice cream maker. I have just made syn free ice cream from Mullerlight vanilla-DH and i just polished off the whole lot in one trot. I have a delicious lemon pineapple sorbet in the freezer

I have been challenged by one of my group members to recreate "carte dor" belgian cinnamon waffle. I reckon I can probably pull this off with a little inventiveness at only 2 or 3 syns a pop.

:)

MrsFC I forgot to say earlier, after my c-section I was back on the horse at 6 weeks and had "minimal" pain in my abdomen. It wasn't pain free, but it felt like I'd done too many sit-ups, not split open and guts on the floor type pain. I was back at Body Pump at around week 16 I think (would've gone earlier but was lazy) and did the full abs routine which I found a lot easier than the shoulders/chest. Dunno what that was about.

oooo fish was it nice???? I have toyed with the idea of getting one for that very purpose! How long did it take to make the ice cream? I am just not sure there is room in my tiny and disorganised kitchen...

fishfingers 5'11"? wow! I'm impressed! What size feet? I'm a 9, and it's such an ARSE.

I want, I want! How much is an ice-cream maker then?
Banger racing is no more sadly Health and Safety and all that malarky has conspired to ruin it.

MrsFC I had a c-section six months ago and still managed to fling myself around the living room with gay abandon when doing the Shred. Well, not quite gay abandon - I did hold on to my belly for a lot of the exercises but that was paranoia rather than neccesity.

Right. Gonna try some crunches tomorrow. Thanks y'all! Ooh. The ice cream sounds bloody lush.

I bought a small ice cream maker from Lakeland last summer for about £40, and had completely forgotten that you could make ice cream from Muller lights - so huge thanks to fishandlilacs for reminding me.

Having a bad day - liquid dog poo, cat sick down the utility cupboards and all over the floor and DD has the squits as well - and feel like Lady Macbeth what with all the handwashing going on here. Hope everyone else having a slightly more fragrant day.

only that sounds really yuckk.

Just found bacon and white rolls that needed eating up, salad for tea methinks

I just went to the best party ever ever ever and had so many spectacular fails and I am gloriously unrepentant. I may change my tune on Tuesday - but I can't even list my syns - I think there would be 6 million. I trie to stick to gin and slimline tonic and then someone got the tequlia out. And at 3am I was munching on baguette with brie.

Go on, teach me the error of my ways :o

Fish MrBoo was telling me today about someone discovering a bottle of Bombay Sapphire at the 11th hour...

Consider it a boost to your metabolism Boo

Hello all,

I happened upon this lovely thread yesterday and I've been PMSL. Blooferlady you're very funny, and you too Pony, and also whoever it was who said that in some dreadfull place the vegertarian option was to fuck off. I'm still laughing at that one.

Anyway I've namechanged for this lovely thread as I'm usually to be found elsewhere (somewhere dark and unamusing) . I joined SW in Jan and I need to loose about 25 lbs. I've been struggling because I've been stuffing bananas, grapes and pinapple as they're free and limmitless (I spell very badly I'm afraid) but allas they are full of sugar so am having to moderate things a bit, ie no more of it which is a bit of a shame. I'm on EE which is brill but quite high carb . It's hard but I'm gonna do it this time. I go by the scales at SW and get weighed there on wed so will report my gain loss then

Boo I heard tnat MRboo was a brahma last night-shame we didn't see that, i doubt it will happen again very soon.

What ho Vanille - flattery will get you everywhere have another of my great flapping bingo-winged waves of hello

I will suppress my insatiable MN curiosity and refrain from hunting you down - sorry you have had to be in dark places .

We will look forward to your Wednesday reports - I fink someone else here weighs in at SW on a Wed but I have just come back from the gym and am so tired I can't function the scroll button on the mouse .

On this here fred Tues is the Day of Doom (TM) and everyone'll PM me what they want posted in The Big Fat List - it'll mean you're both 6 days behind your actual loss but you will still be on a level with everyone else 'cos we're not posting actual weights, just weights lost and targets. Do you see what I mean? CLEAR AS MUD

I see what you mean. Thanks. You're so organised and spirited and able. I don't know how you can be arsed, but I more than admire your enthusiasm and your leadership qualities and it will be good to do this alongside RL SW.

It's so easy to fall off the wagon most days but I desperately don't want another hot, fat, sad CBA misserable summer so we MUST do this and try our hardest not to use this thread as a humerous way of failing IYSWIM.

This thread is a great laugh which is the extra added bonus that attracted me, (somewhat lacking in the RL SW) and we (I) really really want to succeed. Roll on some weight lossess, and Bloofer....you WON'T probably always come last !!!

Slimmer thighs......here we bloody come

Thank you for welcomes. Yes, I get the point of consitency in weighing apparatus (was actually thinking of using my mum's, mainly as I often happen to be round there on a Tuesday), but like the idea that has planted itself in my brain now that I could just tiptoe round different sets of bathroom scales until I get the answer I want. I promise not to do that though. Oh no.
There were scales in the ladies' in my last office (issues?) - I used to get on twice a week when pg, just checking.
I may see if I can find some small enough to hide under my cupboard for the rest of the week, not sit there taunting me. (Why do bathroom scales seem too grown up an item to have in the house?) I will then do some complex re-calibration if required.

I would be interested in a precis of SW if it is not too much trouble - mainly as I once met someone who had lost loads at one round the corner from me, and wondered what it was like, but have always been too chicken to sign up. and am scared I would only last a month--

So for me, 1 day in and not looking too good yet - banana & greek yoghurt, orange juice, slice of toast & peanut butter, bacon & tomato roll, apple, a few custard creams (trying, tantrumming toddler drove me to it). Dinner tonight is ham, scrambled eggs and the first asparagus and new potatoes of the season. Written down it looks a major carb-fest, but this menu was set by DH, before I signed up here. Also better than most days lately (which will tell you how bad I have been) Anyway, I haven't even established a baseline weight yet, so what good would it be to lose anything today?

Is the Shred any good for exercisephobic sloths like me? I have heard of it and was wondering about giving it a try, but for reasons too dull for even me to go into I haven't ordered yet, and fear the momentum may be lost unless someone promises me I will become addicted and be a size 12 for the first time ever.

Oh, and deeleyboppers - I had Pac-man ones. Suspect only suitable if writing for retro gaming magazine.

Just a short couple of days and the thread leaps on!

fishandlilacs pixiestix I love Cornwall, we spent years going there camping every summer in my Childhood. This summer my old am-dram group are in Minack so that is this summers hols sorted.

AlpinePony Ta for the advice on exercise ideas. It's too late now to start a gym here but I will take a look in Vienna. If they have one with a pool as well (swimming is my least-of-all-evils), I will join and go for it. I quite like the skiing too- PILs are near Innsbruck- but I'm not all that good and after a solid few hours, my legs will shake.

B.Lady I love eggy bread. Do you do anything to it beyond just dip/ soak and cook?? I would be interested in the outline of SW plans. I
have a vague idea of WW points but none at all about SW methods.

WhatTheActualFuck What sort of pooch have you got? Isn't dog walking an excellent exercise plan.

cheepcheepchoconora There better not be any upper or lower weight limit to joining! I'm impressed so many of you run.
duckymum Clothes brought it home for me totally. Not to bore on but scales is a good idea.

Hedgepig Deely-boppers!

Hello's to all the new faces.

Well, today was a salad lunch (good) but tonight a sausage and onion butty might have more than undone all that. I've also not been very careful on snacks the rest of the weekend- Tuesday may not be my finest hour, loins may need re-girding. We went to the flower fields today and then to the seaside but it wasn't well planned. It was so busy there that after we drove round twice for parking we gave up and went home. There were at least two car clubs doing cruises round the area so presumably that and a bit of sun was why it was heaving. This week I've got to do a work trip on Wednesday- nice one for a change to Rome- but due to no cheapo in/out flights, I'll have to go the night before which will be the first night away I've done since DD arrived 8 months ago.

evening all my god there's loads I have missed, had a rare full day with DH and the DC's so we have made the most of it , been to the beach this morning collecting shells and for a long walk, then went for a pub lunch - hunters chicken - not ideal but not awful? although was followed by a large vat of homemade ice cream from this delicious place we had to detour on the way home to get to!
Then went to a local mini railway thing for a ride / play in the park

the DC are now fast asleep and I shall be going out for my run as soon as its dark - as unfortunately I still only have a cold weather running top (ordering summer one tonight) and actually I kind of prefer running at night anyway - although last time was dusk and I quite enjoyed that (apart from melting in top!) so I am weaning towards daytime exercise .... am hoping to increase my running distance tonight (shhhh) my current route is 1.1 miles and I am hoping to increase to about 1.4/1.5 miles (which includes a slight hill) ..... fingers crossed!

not had any dinner yet so will have a snack in a bit to keep me going then dinner when I get home