January 2025 starters - it's our anniversary!

[HeidiLite]

new thread, losers!

ah sorry about MIL, must be challenging for your DH especially. I can understand the conflicting feelings.
Fx for your brother.

Over ehre, went back to gym and did a leg day yesterday - can feel it today! I don't mind though, I rarely get sore nowadays, it's strangely enjoyable.

It’s quiet on here! I’ve worked from home most of the week, so I’ve barely moved or left the house. Also on my period, so feeling particularly lazy. Weight was 58.3kg this morning so at least that’s remained stable.

Worked out we spend £1000 a month on food for the four of us. We barely eat out anymore. And there’s barely any waste. I am cooking more and buying more meat for protein, but somehow this has taken me by surprise. I’ve no idea how much we were spending before MJ. I was travelling more for work, so eating out more. But food is now our biggest expense.
My menu for mid-week usually has one chicken/turkey, one veggie, one oily fish, one white fish/seafood, one pork and one red meat dish.
I don’t think I want to cut back on it, as I think we eat a very healthy balanced diet. So cutting back would mean sourcing cheaper ingredients, which would mean driving further away or forgoing taste. So guess this is just the new normal?

Morning @DGmaintaining .

I think your food bill is probably about right for good quality food with a good amount of protein. I transfer £1000 to a Starling account each month and use it for food, cat food and petrol. I spend it all every month, petrol is usually three tanks at £175 ish as I wfh a lot. DS is away at uni. DD is not always at home but I do feed their friends a lot.

Yesterday I fancied Caesar salad, after a trip to M&S for lettuce etc, chicken, croutons and fresh dressing I had spent £22 on Caesar salad for two people- I did add avocado and nice cherry tomatoes but still food is expensive. Hasn’t it gone up by 23% in five years?

I’m trying to weigh less often, twice a week 🤞. Going away today for a food filled weekend.

I completely agree about the cost of food. I try to do the weekly shop at Lidl to keep costs down but top up with ‘nice bits’ from M&S. For a family of 3 + 2 cats, I reckon I can spend £200 a week easily.

However, we don’t eat out much or get takeaways, so good food is one of life’s pleasures. Since losing weight I feel like when I do eat, I want it to be good quality food that nourishes my body.

@jinsI hope your brother hasn’t impacted his health as much as you feared. I lost my beloved aunt to myeloma and it was rough. I do appreciate it’s complex when the relationship isn’t a peaceful one. I am expecting to feel relief if/when my own mother dies.

I spend about £200 a month on food for just me. I never buy alcohol which probably helps.

Back from a week in a hotel and have gained two pounds. It could have been worse and I have to accept that this is what maintenance looks like. It’s weird though because at 8:4 I really feel that two pounds!!

Back to normal life now, which mostly consists of trying to stay warm!!!

I’m spending less on food since getting hello fresh boxes which is a big help and I’m lucky to be able to pick up late night yellow stickered items free but it’s still a huge part of our outgoings. It’s not obvious where cuts could be made either. The main positive with hello fresh is that it seems to have replaced the weekly takeaway which is a good thing as the weekly box costs about the same as fish and chips for three and a lot less than a curry.

Weekend is here! Not sure why this still feels significant to a retired person but it really does. I’ve got a pile of clothes to ponder adjustments and I’d like to get on with that.

The MIL visit was difficult. DH had been asked to explain the test reports to her and see if she was happy to be discharged from the specialist. So having refused chemo for 15 months and hearing that the condition has progressed she now wants chemo. Far too late but the question has to be asked. So that’s all been handed over to BIL to deal with. I get it, my own mother spent her last 12 months hoping to die and yet she put up an incredible fight against the pneumonia and sepsis that finally took her.

In other news I’m now convinced without any real evidence that DHs best friend is having an affair. (I’m very good at spotting this and have never been wrong). I’m very polarised on this issue so I’m going to be ‘busy’ when he visits. I give it 4-6 weeks before the truth emerges.

Must stop rambling. You lot are a real sounding board sometimes. Have a great weekend all

ah @Jins MIL sounds like a very challening person.
And the friend situation is tricky of course. I always wonder how people find the time and energy for affairs, how much planning and sneaking around must go into it.

A friend of mine had an affair with a typical 'wife and I are not together any more, no relationship, just living there because we need to wait for x y and z before we tell kids' guy. Got pregnant. Of course turns out the husband and wife were very much together and he had no plans to break up. So far so typical. However, what is atypical - the wife has fully accepted the kid, kid stays with dad quite often and is always included in family holidays 😮Can you imagine going on holiday with your DH, your DC and also your husband's DC with his extramarital partner??

Wow @HeidiLite i can't decide whether that's impressive or just really really sad! I mean, brilliant that the innocent child in the situation isn't missing out, but still 🤯

weigh in here today and I've decided to revise my original target of 70kg a tiny bit and go a little lower.

SW 101kg
GW 68.5kg
CW 69.4kg

hopefully that will give me a nice buffer of a couple of kg. My BMI is currently 21.9 so right in the middle of the healthy range.

so glad it's the weekend, work continues to be terrible 😞 Really in 2 minds as to what to do. It'd be really hard for me to find another job which is anywhere near as convenient for me. I think I need to just make the decision to stick it out another few years till retirement but it also feels like giving up. Argh!

@Jins the MIL situation sounds so tough 💐 when my FIL was dying with terminal cancer, he'd made the decision to have no more treatment and had a prognosis of only a couple of months, but when he was got ill with something else (infection), he was adamant he wanted as much intensive treatment as he could have, which led to a quite long and very unpleasant hospital stay. I couldn't understand the point of it but the fight for life can be difficult to resist.

Gosh @jins you have a lot going on. Hoping for a peaceful weekend for you.

Oh @Jinsthats a lot. Hope you’re ok and can have a relaxing weekend.
Agreed on food, for a family of 3 we probably spend the best part of £800, but like others we prioritise good quality food and cook from scratch every night. We very rarely get takeaways, maybe once every 2-3 months.
I’ve been feeling a bit fed up this week, have had a bit of a week of it, combination of this dire weather, injured foot so can’t run, and 4 job rejections. I’m a really upbeat and positive person but it’s got to me this week. I was bingeing too earlier in the week and had a good look at my spreadsheet and think I’ve been too intermittent with doses so I’ve gone to 5mg but plan to consistently jab every 5 days and see how it goes. Back on track since Wed and been to reformers today and feeling much better! Still wish this rain would stop..
Have a wonderful weekend everyone and @PrepossessingPenelopeenjoy your foodie break!

Thanks all but I’m not adversely affected by any of the nonsense. I’ve been comfortable with my feelings towards MIL for decades, just watchful for DH having a wobble. As far as DHs friend goes I’ve already detached and moved him into acquaintance status so he’ll get the same treatment as any other random that pops round. I know his wife but we aren’t friends and I’ve decided not to say anything. If I’m wrong this will be the first time ever. We shouldn’t generalise but men aren’t very good at hiding these things 🤣

My relationship with my mother was awful, I’ve made a point to parent in the absolute opposite way.

sorry you’re feeling down @26inprogress it does sounds like you’ve had a really tough week so don’t be too hard on yourself.

@MJalltheway that sounds like a really good plan. Similar to mine.

@Jins hope all not too stressful. @HeidiLite i think the wife must v v nice.

I’ve not been posting as I’m trying not to focus on my snail pace !!

We spend a fortune on food about £250 a week, I don’t really add it up. We do have a teen boy though.. I like us eating well.

sorry @26inprogress , 4 rejections will certainly get you down. But I'm sure it was good for something. Can you do something enjoyable today to cheer yourself up?

@26inprogress i think this weather is getting to us all. It’s beyond miserable. My office is in a tall building and I spent two days this week peering out through thick cloud. That, combined with the truly awful newsfeed at the moment is enough to make us all feel like everything has turned to shite.

I’m suffering from weight loss comparison envy. My cousin is also doing WLI and has lost 4.5 stone. Whilst I’m pleased for her, I feel like a failure myself. That and my husband has decided to cut out his snacking habits since Christmas and has already lost almost the same as I’ve done in over a year. I mean his snacking habits were bad - lots of sweets at work to keep him going (I get it, he works long shifts at unsociable hours) but almost two stone 😲. Whilst I’m over here, still tubby and a long way off my target. I was thinking earlier about how I joined Weight Watchers years ago because I was horrified about being 11stone 3lbs. I’d bloody jump for joy at that weight now.

And on the food shop costs. We spend around £1k per month too. It’s outrageous. We don’t eat meat or buy booze either. Teenagers eat A LOT. When I started WLI my cousin said ‘you will cover the cost of your jabs from the money you save on food’ Yeah, no. I’m not the major source of food expenditure in my house!!

@MJalltheway how many years until retirement? If you moved would it effect pension?

@Polkadotdash oh I’d be inwardly fuming - so not fair. All you can do is keep going .

@Polkadotdash ooh that's so annoying - DH is the same, has only 2 croissants instead of usual 3 for breakfast and drops 5 kilos in a week. Very unfair.

It’s just another annoying advantage that men have!

In other news, I have my annual staff conference on Tuesday. They have announced that there will be a professional photographer there to do headshots for our Teams profiles. Now, I do need a new photo but:

1. What the hell do I wear?
2. How to I arrange my face so that I hide my hamster cheeks? Smile? (Moon face) No smile? (Resting bitchface). Half smile? (Patronising or smug). What do I dooooooo?

@Polkadotdash if you are brutally honest about it, is there anything you can do to improve your rate of loss? (Go up a dose, calculate TDEE and stick to it, weigh food out, eat whole foods, lift weights etc etc). If you are already doing everything you can, then that is the best your body can achieve and there's nothing wrong with that. We are not men, and our bodies are much more fearsomely complicated than theirs. Women are designed to store fat to sustain a pregnancy.
As for the photo - always smile!

@BlueLimes i have about 3 years in mind because that will take me to full state pension entitlement and our youngest will finish school then too.
But honestly, the amount I earn in comparison to DH means my income is not very relevant so whether I work or not doesn't really change our lifestyle.

@MJalltheway if it making you miserable - I’d do something else especially if the money doesn’t matter that much.
Or is there anything you can do make it more tolerable or change the way you feel about it? I only say about you changing because of my absolute nemesis (narcissist) at work who’s junior to me but so awful I wanted to leave. I changed my interactions so it’s a bit more tolerable. I absolutely get being miserable though and it really affects your time away from work too.
Hopefully that doesn’t sound patronising- not my intent.

@Polkadotdash wear a dark block colour and do the slightly stick chin out but look slightly diwn thing.

@MJalltheway i know that if I exercised I’d get better results. I still feel really delicate from my hysterectomy though, as well as puffy from it too. Also, I know that if I went back to 7.5mg on MJ I’d be losing again. But I can’t afford either the gym nor the higher doses. I can’t take some comfort that I haven’t gained weight in the 4 months on Wegovy. But I just feel like I’m treading water.

I’m out doing Saturday chores so I thought I would pop into Next/M&S to see if they had any cheap, camera friendly work tops. I ended up trying on trousers too. M&S I’m a size 16. Next I’m a size 12. Make that make sense.

I’m so sorry @MJallthewayi missed the work stuff, that sounds awful. We spend so much time at work that being unhappy really does impact our whole life. Hope you can change something so things improve, life’s too short to be unhappy.
Thanks everyone, I’m much better today, just been one of those shitty weeks and most recruiters are just complete eejits, a few standout exceptions but honestly!! I also meant 5mg every 7 days not 5! I’m still 23bmi but I look so wrinkly and old at the moment that I want to wait to see whether the collagen and exercise help ( and get rid of this damn perioral dermatitis) before I think about dropping a bit more.
@Polkadotdashim sorry, you do seem to have had a challenging time on WLI. Are you getting enough protein and drinking lots of water? I find that really does make a difference to me. Agree with everyone else, smile and block colour, in a colour that really suits you.

@BlueLimessorry about your work too, what is wrong with people! Good to have you back, and any pace is pace, so keep going!

I had a Vinted nightmare this week, a too good to be true me and em jumper was too good to be true, wool and cashmere is actually polyester with a split in the arm and ‘dry fat’ on the washing instructions. I bloody pressed all ok by mistake and of course Vinted now won’t do anything even though the seller has disappeared, presumably for selling fakes! Have had to raise it with my cc co 🤞🏻.

@BlueLimes @Polkadotdash solidarity my lovelies.

i have pretty much decided to give up. Going up to 12.5 was meant to be my final push but it did fuck all to be honest except cost me more money. I remain either 2lb or half a stone away from goal depending on what mood i’m in (and my goal is higher than bmi 25. BMI wise I am still just under a stone overweight).

I have therefore decided to go back down to 10mg from next week and stop expecting anything. Ideally I’d then try that for a couple of months, move down again, spend a few months there and see if I can go down again etc etc. whilst I have no intention of actually stopping, trying to get actively lighter is starting to have a real negative toll on me now and whilst I can afford it, I can’t justify it iyswim.

annoying about Vinted, @26inprogress
I had a disappointing Etsy purchase, dress for DD described as handmade and cotton, was a polyester rag with Made in China label. Seller kept arguing it matches description. Etsy refunded me but didn't do anything about the seller. Such a shame, at least Vinted is trying to keep all the Shein stuff sold as made up brands with fancy AI photos under control.

@myladyjane hello! You’ve popped back up. Sorry to hear that you are stuck too. It’s sooooooo frustrating. And expensive. 🙁. Solidarity, sister.

@26inprogress Vinted are useless if anything goes wrong. It’s basically like an online car boot sale.