@PearlTeapot So sorry its so hard :( I wish I could say something that would help. But there are lots of people here who care. I've love to pop over a colouring book and jigsaw and a new book and some fun craft for distraction (things that I'd love but do get that wouldn't be for everyone!!)
I've got myself into an anxiety spiral leaving Xmas so late (waited until i stopped work) and going to see relatives later . I used to love "making Christmas" but it took ages and I just haven't this year. I am so so bad at presents too. I've got some for my kids but not friends or colleagues. SO about to go out and look for something... I feel I have failed xmas
However - I was Amazoning presents this weekend and bought myself new pants (just basic black ones) and new bras ( again just basic - m saving for BRavissmo when I am closer to goal) and they arrived this morning and I feel so good. I think I have neglected myself a lot over the years (feel fat/ think i wont buy things until "i lose weight" / hating how it looks anyway etc / very low incomes so making do..) But the new jobs has given some leeway and actually several packs of black asda pants means I wont have to worry about having enought - they are full briefs so comfortable and fit. I didn't realise just how much better that would be. I think when morbidly obese nothing fitted nicely anway - now at size 16-18 things can actually fit!!
Oh and Bras!!! Again - they fit.... Not my wired ones that the wire came out of....
They feel so good.
AND another happy admidst my crazy - I'm supposed to do my blood pressure each month for ADHD meds... LAst couple of months I just entered hte previous month.
YESTERDAY IT WAS ACUTALLY NORMAL!!!!!!! I am so so stressed but I guesst he weight loss has brought it down. TOp of normal. But not been normal for like forever. THe fear with ADHD meds is it raises it I think - but nearly 8 stone off must make a big difference>
Does that mean its better for my circulation? heart?
Also - been out and about ad although larger no longer feel like that obviously very morbidly obese person I felt last year . I've still got a long way to go, and currently in a burnout/ anxiety spiral BUT really noticing the victories as well especially as I'm very nearly a year on MJ so looking back.