@OhPolly I want to give you and your lovely dog a cuddle.
@WeeBean hello! Very similar starting stats to me! Welcome!
Can I have a bit of a moan/rant?
Today's been a bit of a mess, mentally. Four hours at minor injuries waiting to be x-rayed but they said it looks like I need an MRI and they can't do that because my leg is so swollen, so they've booked it in for two weeks' time. They gave me crutches and painkillers and told me to rest.
I still feel really upset and defeated. I feel... fragile, like my resolve is thin glass, ready to shatter. I had an entire bottle of wine last night and no dinner, so with the wine included I had 1100 calories. And I'm like, yay. Wtf? That is not a yay. Shit's sake.
And here's something. Our shower is on the top floor, 2 flights of stairs away, and I can't get there. I can shuffle on my bum up one flight of stairs to the main bathroom, which has a bath and no shower, but it's a big tub and I can't get in it alone.
My partner hasn't seen me naked in over two years.
He is a very lovely and compassionate guy and he'd be sad if he thought I wouldn't ask for help out of shame over my body, but also, during sex he's asked me to leave a top or dress on a couple of times because he liked the dress or the top, and it just didn't feel like he was making a sartorial decision.
There's so much shame and awful self talk bubbling away inside today. I feel exhausted and starving (due my injection tomorrow so no suppression left) and dehydrated because in the melee, my new lovely stanley cup got left behind at the gym.
I'm going to end the rant here, and thanks if you made it through, and sorry if I brought the mood down. I want to do a separate post about self talk in a bit because I was thinking a lot about it today so I guess gird your loins for more of my shite.