Everyone just hates fat people

[mamabeeboo]

Yes I'm fat and yes I'm taking the WLI.

I've had it out with a friend of a friend during a catch up dinner yesterday and I'm fuming.

I've lost some weight and still have a good 5 or so stone more to go before I'm anywhere near the 'normal' BMI category. So no, I'm not wasting away or disappearing, or losing weight too fast.

The mistake I made was being honest about the jabs. But I stand by it, I think it's important to get healthy, regardless of how you do it, just get there.

ANYWAY, this person has suddenly decided to feel concerned for my health, now that the loss has become noticeable. With some silent nods from others about how you should 'just eat less and move more'. No shit is that what was supposed to do?!

A big discussion about:
just have willpower
just have smaller portions
do it the normal way, you don't know what you're putting into your body
it's not healthy
just put down the fork
it's about dicipline
it's not really losing weight though, is it (huhh??)
it's more rewarding to do it the normal way so you can feel achievement

It's gotten me thinking of how so many people just hate fat people. You want us to pay for being fat, to suffer at the gym doing workouts we don't like or can't do with joint pain and back pain etc. You want us to 'just have willpower' like it's that easy. You want us to try all the diets and fail so you can feel superior with your 'discipline' and that you 'look after your body'.

You hate the fact that these WLI have levelled the playing field.

I said all this yesterday and it became very frosty. These aren't my friends, I was there for the birthday girl, but I won't sit there and take it.

I'm posting because I'd love to hear what you might have heard when talking about WLI. (Or if anyone agrees with the above 🤔)

I havent told most people because of just this. I know what is involved and that in no way am I cheating. But I literally cant be arsed to have these conversations. I do think part of the venom about people using these injections is that it makes it clear that obesity is not just a case of willpower, it is not just a simple thing, but there are biological factors which make it harder for some people not to become obese. But if it is not all the fat persons fault, who will the non fat people feel superior to?

Exactly this. There are evolutionary reasons why some people retain weight much more easily than others - in times of famine they had a better chance of surviving. Scientists think now that the microbiome plays a significant role as well.

At the end of the day there are thin people who eat whatever they want and stay thin. There are thin people who work at being thin. There are fat people who eat well and exercise. There are fat people who eat unhealthily for a whole range of reasons.

You cannot tell anything about a person's character or their life by their size.

My apologies - no I cannot.
My grandmother told me that my mum was never overweight and didn’t deserve whatever the “plump” remark meant. They put captions underneath every eighth grade child’s photo, and that’s what they gave my mother.
My Nana told me that if anything, Mum was 5lbs overweight.
And that’s all I know.

Have not RTFT, sorry.
Talking to my husband about this earlier. There was a person on here a few months ago who was the most honest “thin” person I have heard ever talk about WLIs.
She was fascinating to me.
She basically said that she thought being slim was the most important thing ever. That she had spent her entire life, denying herself stuff, that she thought about every mouthful, that she “fought” the food noise every minute of every day, that she knew the calorific value of everything, that every food choice was based on calories/carbohydrates/sugar/fats (it was the 1980s) and therefore people on WLIs were “cheating”
i’m not even on WLIs, but who the fuck are we/you cheating? It is so not a competition, and to those of you who use any fucking way to be fitter and thinner, well the fuckity fuck to you. I hope your journey is brilliant for you

Before I get piled on, obvs she grew up in the 80s. It wasn’t actually the 80s.
Because if it was, I would not be annoyed about this on a Saturday night and would be asking which one of you wants to have drinks in my red and black box room in our three bedroom semi (no idea where we got the drinks from, my dad was a drinker but I assume he kept an eye on it) followed by the town disco in, (and wait for it) does anyone remember the “Chinese “ dress phase?
Actually quite nice I guess?
North Surrey, fuck am I actually talking 50 years ago? I think I am!
Anyone?

Why should one group continue to suffer pain while the other gets an easy, painless solution?

Seems like you're really struggling being thin. Like I said, if you developed more discipline and willpower then you may not struggle as much.

And why would you want the jabs to be more widely available? So you can take it?

But you just said that you aren't the one needing willpower since you're a size 8. 🤔 You either need the jabs or don't. You either have willpower or don't. Which is it?

Work on the discipline and saying no to cake will get easier, and it won't be such a "struggle" (your words not mine) . You've got this 👏

That she had spent her entire life, denying herself stuff, that she thought about every mouthful, that she “fought” the food noise every minute of every day, that she knew the calorific value of everything, that every food choice was based on calories/carbohydrates/sugar/fats

Funny thing is that most of us fatties have done exactly the same. At least she managed to be thin after all this.

Weight loss drugs are simply another tool to facilitate losing weight. The result is the same as any other method. A calorie deficit which leads to weight loss. Note I said weight, not fat. Losing body fat and maintaining muscle takes more than just a calorie deficit and this is the key to long term weight loss that’s sustainable over time. The goal should not be to stay on these drugs for life. It should be to use them for a period to give you a window of peace from food noise, allowing you to implement lifestyle changes. There is no shame in using weight loss drugs, they are a means to an end.

I'm also a craver and a binger. It's best to reflect and understand what you're eating or why you are craving something. Are you bored? Habit? Do you eat refined carbs that make you want it? Once you figure out actually why you're craving, you should be able to fix it. There's always a reason, even if not apparent.
Some things that have helped me - simply not buying junk food, so it's not at home when I crave it. Keeping busy. Brushing teeth. Chewing gum. Drink water/tea /sparkling water.

this is the advice you gave a fellow poster Op.

my question is… how can you do all the above if an injection is simply squashing your desire to eat? Genuine question

Why, whats it got to do with anyone else? Its not a competition, its not a tugging forelocks situation, its not a 'bear my soul' situation.

You've fallen into the trap of viewing weight as some sort of moral or cultural issue and looking outward rather than inward. No other medical need does this, why obesity?

Hi, what do you mean? I still have to do this, whilst the jab reduces my appetite. Is that what you're asking?

Ok that answers my question

sorry I just thought the jab basically completely diminishes appetite, I didn’t realise you still get desire to binge and crave food

Before taking weight loss injection - I had to see a cardiologist for health reason.

The appt was 12 wks after starting mounjaro- I'd lost 15kg, my blood pressure had dropped by 15 mmHg puting me in the healthy range. My ECG was normal.

He was delighted with the results and that I had I didn't need to go medication. We discussed mounjaro and his reaction for very postivie and encouraging.

Yup, this is why people say that you still have to put in the hard work. Imagine how it is off the jab, the temptations are deafening and actually ruins my days.

But protein shakes are full of artificial chemicals. By your reasoning they surely must be ‘cheating’ too.

So does that mean you’ll be on it forever?

I genuinely don’t give a hoot either way. Not my business
just trying to understand if that’s the intention

Maybe the jabs ought to be prescribed to anyone fighting with food noice? I'm serious. It sounds exhausting what you're going through so I do think the jab could help your ME as make you stop thinking about food all the time. Then again you might just wind up emaciated and not healthy if your ideal si a corpse like body type rather than a healthy one. Maybe you're hungry because you're not eating enough and it would be good for your health to gain some weight?

Just thinking out loud...

What, he didn't tell you that you were cheating, just needed some willpower, that he didn't want to take it even though nobody had told him he should and you weren't on the same level as people who'd lost weight through dieting? Wow, it's almost like people who know what they're talking about think differently to some of the wise contributors on this thread...

I don’t think it’s hatred for fat people, it’s that people are insufferable know-alls and don’t understand that nobody wants their unsolicited advice and implicit criticism. It’s the same for all sorts of topics (ie parenting, depression) - “just do this”, as if it had never occurred to you.

This is the worst argument. It’s actually laughable how you think protein shakes are comparable to weight loss injections. As I said, if you want to compare weight loss injections to anything in the bodybuilding world it would steroids. They are both medications. All food and drinks are full of chemicals because chemicals are the components of life. Doritos and coke are full of artificial chemicals, are they a cheat?

My husband was very much in the "just eat less and exercise more" camp. As I said to him, "I haven't managed that in 52 years of trying on and off, what makes you think I'm going to have a personality transplant now?"

Since I started on weight loss injections, its given me the confidence that any temporary stalls are just that - temporary. As a result, I've not just maintained my healthy eating plan for the longest period ever (tricky, as I can't lose weight if I eat any more than about 1100 calories, and will put weight on at 1300 - bloody menopause), but also kept with my fitness program as well. I'm determined not to become thin by losing disproportionate muscle mass. I'm healthier than I have ever been. The bingos are disappearing and with the amount of pilates I'm doing, I bet when I lose the slab of fat round my midriff, I'm going to discover abs of steel under there!

My husband has seen all the effort I have put in, and has gone from being "eat less, exercise more" to "I'm really proud of the work you've put into this."

If and when I finally do come off the injections, I'm hoping to make the weight loss stick. There's been a few posts about how thin people get food noise, too. I think the thing is, the thin people know that if they resist the food noise, they get the reward of being thin. Fat people know that even if they resist the food noise, they'll still be fat. We have nothing to lose by giving in. Already at this point, I feel like I've got something to lose. If I have to keep going back to Mounjaro to regain the health mindset I have now, so be it.

I have the opposite to you OP. I haven’t read your full thread. My BMI is 29.
I have to track all of my calories and struggle to either stay at this weight and every so often I loose about half a stone and then it goes back on. Its a battle that has been going on for years with me. I exercise a lot have a low resting heart rate etc.

I have been told multiple times from people who have started on weight loss injections (when I haven’t said anything btw as I know how hard it is to loose weight!)
That because I am the size that I am (Baring in mind I’m a size 14 clothes!!) I don’t need the jabs as im not big and I wouldn’t understand how hard it is too loose weight 🙄
Im not sure if it’s because my work uniform (nursing dress) makes it hard to see people’s real sizes or what…..I don’t know.

Im very much….each to their own! But a lot of nurses who are in these injections who I am coming across have very strong opinions on how other people don’t know the ‘struggle’

There is a mildly infuriating article by Elizabeth Day on glp-1. Basically saying we all need to love ourselves more and not fall into the old 90s mindset of body shaming.

She then goes on to list some of the downsides of these drugs as reasons she won’t be taking them. Without acknowledging that as a slim woman she would not be prescribed them.

These drugs come with risks. Risks worth taking when obesity is causing other, significant risks to a person’s health and wellbeing.

Why someone like Elizabeth Day needs to write about this is beyond me. Especially when she says nothing about the complexity of obesity, the misery is causes and the enormous health risks it brings.

Slim women - these drugs are not meant for you. Stay in your own lane.

The reality is that a lot of us are doing it for health reasons.

I had a low 30s BMI on commencing, would probably be perceived as chubby rather than especially fat by most people, and began MJ because I was advised to lose some weight due to a health matter. My feeling unbothered about my size and having a good relationship with my appearance hadn't prevented the weight impacting on my health.