SIL invited only husband to wedding

[NiftyFawn]

Am I being crazy , entitled or rude ? My husband's sister has recently invited only my husband to her destination wedding . We have had no falling out or anything like that . Feel very hurt , it feels disrespectful to me and my husband . MIL fully supports this which makes it worse . Am I wrong for feeling like this ? DH fully agrees , interested in others thoughts

Does he agree with you or her? It is weird. I would hope he would say we come together or not at all.

I hope your DH has your back. Mine would refuse the invite , no questions asked. SIL is extremely short sighted.

Totally rude unless they are having a tiny ceremony of parents/siblings only in which case she should have taken the time to explain that to you beforehand!

If it's a destination wedding with just siblings and parents then for me that's ok. If there are other relatives like aunts or grandparents then you should be there too.

Never makes any sense to me to say 'come at great expense to celebrate our union as spouses, it's very significant! But you can't bring your own spouse' 🤔

Are other sibling’s partners going?

Who’s going? 6 person wedding is different to a 600 person wedding.

I really don't see how you can ask a sibling to spend time and money travelling abroad and not bring their spouse. No kids maybe, although I actually think that's unreasonable too if it's abroad, but no partner?!

Need more info.
How many are going, are other in-laws invited, what’s your relationship like?

It does seem a little bit odd not to invite you. Are there children invited? I generally take the view that people can invite who they want but it does depend.

I'd be hurt as well. The wedding is a celebration of your SIL and soon to be BIL becoming one family... it's a bit if a contradiction on their part really that you aren't being viewed as family

YANBU. DH will have to ask her what’s up.

Are you going on the actual holiday itself ? It sounds weird, where is it being held?

Any chance she's trying to be thoughtful but being clumsy about it (e.g. there's no kids allowed and she knows you have three and couldn't both attend? Or there's no way you could both afford the air fare?). Unlikely but hey...

It’s appallingly rude and crass of her to do this. My DH would probably not go if his sibling did this (although I certainly wouldn’t ask him not to go, it would be up to him). I would have very little to do with her in future. Life is too short to bother with people who treat you badly, and she doesn’t consider her brother’s wife family.

My DH wouldn’t go
Is there some weird but important context you’re leaving out - like you and SiL hate one another? You get massively drunk and shouty at family events?

YANBU, it’s mad. I’m not going to SIL’s wedding with DH (also abroad but they live there) but I was invited!

Ouch, that’s bad. My OH just wouldn’t go if this happened, he’d be raging.

When I was invited to a family wedding without my spouse I declined the invitation and have pulled back significantly from that family member. I think it’s incredibly rude of them.

Say absolutely nothing. They will know it is upsetting and are waiting for a reaction. Don't give them one. Book a pamper day let hubby go and if it ever comes up just smile sweetly and keep any conversation very low key, nothing that would give away your real feelings or they have achieved their objective. Also if you stay very neutral its likely that your husband will not feel torn but irritated with them. Its possible they are trying to cause rows between you and hubby. Treat it as insignificant. Hard I know but dont give them any power.

So is there a backstory?

How many are attending? If it is just parents and siblings it’s more understandable than a much bigger wedding.

I think it's the destination wedding bit that makes it unreasonable - DBro had very limited numbers at his legal ceremony (in the UK); they were permitted a total of 8 guests (including witnesses) as that was what you got on the minimum package, so it was parents and siblings only. Wider family came to the celebration a couple of days later. But I wouldn't have been impressed at being invited to a destination wedding on my own.

It's mad, but it's one of those things that's so mad I wouldn't comment on it/start an argument. You can't argue with crazy.

You've got no need to spend your money or your time going to her destination wedding. Brilliant! Book a lovely break somewhere you actually want to go instead.

Never mention it to SIL again.

It’s far gone beyond rude. Even if only 6 people going you don’t invite one half of a couple. Disgusting behaviour.

My DHs brother and sil have done this
It's a remote venue in a different continent that's childfree. It's a 100 person wedding...

They invited me but not our 2 and 4 yo (thus knowing i wouldnt be able to come)
Then they went on and on with Dailymail sad faces that I wouldnt come...

Just batshit....also so offensive to my children (& their goddaughter!!!)

I have said NOTHING.
My dh dealt with it
I have given them zero to push back on and said nothing.

I've just dropped the rope.

It's absolved me from having to bother with them at all in the future.