SIL invited only husband to wedding

[NiftyFawn]

Am I being crazy , entitled or rude ? My husband's sister has recently invited only my husband to her destination wedding . We have had no falling out or anything like that . Feel very hurt , it feels disrespectful to me and my husband . MIL fully supports this which makes it worse . Am I wrong for feeling like this ? DH fully agrees , interested in others thoughts

Agrees with me

No, absolutely not . Just doesn't see me as family

He agrees with me , finds it strange and very rude

Guest list wasn't 10 ppl and I have no idea about the destination , totally beside the point tbh

Were these lots of weddings all "destination " weddings overseas, or were they genuine can't afford celebrations in the uk with a few people down the pub? There is a big difference.

How do you know the exact guest list and not the destination? Seems a bit odd.
If they don’t see you as family then there is some backstory there? Feel like we’re not getting the full story?

Be grateful. Destination weddings are an expensive pain in the arse. Rude of her not to invite you, but at least you can save your annual leave and money for something you actually want to do.

You have a very strange SIL. There’s really nothing you can do except take note and match her energy.

If you and/your husband are so not involved to not know where they’re actually going? How exciting the plans are?
If you are not their friends, you also know more than tou should..
Do you care about this marriage or not!

it doesn’t seem helpful to say be grateful here.

I’d be pissed off too and neither dh or I would go if we found ourselves in your dhs shoes. A wedding can’t be important if my husband/wife isn’t family, clearly our wedding was meaningless to the bride.

SIL is terribly rude! I would lose her number. Atleast you know how she really feels about you. FWIW, my DHs extended family have never viewed me as family and we've been married for 20 years. Suits me just fine.

She’s very rude. In his position, I wouldn’t go.

Really depends on many circumstances, like if this is a really tiny wedding or were there any indications of you not being able to make it, etc.
Personally I wouldn't feel offended in the slightest if we weren't communicating a lot, it's one thing to not be invited to a wedding of someone you know really well and are practically friends with, whilte not being invited to someone who you mostly see as a distant relative of sorts would be fine in my books.

So what did your mil say about you not being invited ?
I. think destination weddings are lovely if thats the dream of the b and g.
But...I wouldn't be going if the cost was too high and if the destination didn't hold any interest for me. .

I find this mindset that husband and wife must go everywhere together and be invited to everything together very weird.

There's a simple solution. Ask your SIL why you weren't invited.

Totally insane & rude. My Dh wouldn’t go.

This is the nub of it. The SIL and her intended clearly don't actually "get" the xoncept of marriage and have no understanding of the impact it has. I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out that the event you aren't invited to actually has no legal standing and they are doing the "legal bit" (ie the actual real getting married) on a different day and potentially back in the UK - the event you aren't invited to being really just a self-indulgent photo shoot, not a wedding.

If sheunderstood the meaning of getting married she would see you as family. As she clearly doesn't, her marriage will not last long.

What your DH does would depend on to what extent his relationship with his sister is a context where him spending a lot of money to participate in a self-indulgent photoshoot of a fantasy charade without legal standing feels like a normal thing to do. He can say no

You say this is a "destination wedding", but with a very limited guest list (or at least you imply that). Does this suggest perhaps that they're renting a big house for everyone to stay in and have counted how many beds are available or something like that?

I agree that the situation as you have described it sounds weird. My family all live in different countries and when visiting expect to be (and are) put up in each others' houses. But if there was a celebration with lots of family members coming, we'd find our own accommodation and I might just go on my own to keep expenses down. But my DH would expect to have been (and definitely would have been) invited to attend.

she is very rude.

he should tell her, he wont come without his wife

P.s It'll only cost you about £000 and we'll probably divorce in a year or two after I've compained about him on MN for things I knew about him before he married but never mind.
I know someone who had the massive expensive wedding aboard, whistles and bells on. It was dressed up like an ott celeb thing, he was a serial cheat before they married, she knew this but he needed 'taming' and she's do it. Within the year, he's moved in with someone else, no kids thankfully and she's paying off the debts incurred.

I think it's incredibly rude, why would you pay a lot of money to go abroad to a holiday destination without your wife? Realistically you wouldn't. I could maybe understand if you were a gf of only a few months when the invites went out, but not inviting your brother's wife is beyond rude. If my SIL did this to us my husband would simply decline the wedding invite.

We are nc with h's side since his parents died due to the general toxicity that runs through it. 3 dominating males who all think they are Billy B Bs and sadly weak women. Having said that at least two have seen sense and got out of it.
Apart from h's kids there is no contact and it's bliss.

Exactly who is invited OP? It is really hard to judge the situation from the minimal info you have given.

It very much depends on how many guests there are. If it’s just a few then and he is super close to his DS and BIL then I would be ok about it though not thrilled. If there are more than single figures I’d be well cheesed off and expect him to refuse to go.