@Bellyblueboy
Sorry I have just seen you asked me a question.
I had a myriad of feelings.
It was my brother’s second wedding and wanted to tie up loose ends but nevertheless I could not believe that he didn’t see my partner as a member of his family.
I thought he was rude, arrogant and entitled putting style above substance. Really old fashioned I know, but no sense of etiquette.
I can’t believe how upset I was and I remain upset. A real visceral feeling.
I remember walking up the stairs and seeing bottles and bottles of chilled champagne. There was actually staff standing behind chairs like he was the king entertaining foreign dignitaries. I sat there thinking he’d put this before making his family happy.
Now to be honest my partner didn’t give two fucks and was probably relieved and he and both my boys groan if this subject comes up.
Brother number 2’s wife didn’t seem to care either but my sister was beyond enraged and my BiL ‘forgot’ his keys and wandered in to be given champagne by bride’s dad. I don’t think my brother has ever forgiven him. Bride’s brother’s wife was literally outside with her children for the duration. After about three hours she tried to get in but was stopped by staff but her wiry nine year old boy shot through to get his dad.
In our case the bride and groom had some of their cousins and friends there, some of whom were in couples. And giant hydrangeas!
What I have asked the OP is, does she know who actually is invited because that would inform my opinion.
I am genuinely embarrassed but I could rant for hours. Years later my partner’s brother did not quite do this but didn’t reveal he was getting married so I went on holiday.