SIL invited only husband to wedding

[NiftyFawn]

Am I being crazy , entitled or rude ? My husband's sister has recently invited only my husband to her destination wedding . We have had no falling out or anything like that . Feel very hurt , it feels disrespectful to me and my husband . MIL fully supports this which makes it worse . Am I wrong for feeling like this ? DH fully agrees , interested in others thoughts

Feels like she's either 1) laid down a bit of a challenge to your DH regarding his loyalties or 2) doesn't really want him there/care if he comes and knows he won't come if you're not invited. There really isn't a third path IMO (although many on here would find a way, I'm sure, IRL there isn't.)

Depends if the third path is NO spouses are invited, in which case what’s the issue? People are not joined at the hip. I’ve been married several decades, several adult children at this stage, and I can count the weddings I’ve been to with DH on one hand. Been to heaps on my own, and he has been to many on his own. The other doesn’t feel the need to create drama but has a Netflix night, a takeaway and genuinely hopes the other is having a good time. Outrage is all a choice.

Not inviting spouses on a destination wedding is particularly egregious because it’s a lot more than the uninvited person having the sofa to themselves for an evening.
There are cost and annual leave considerations.
Marriage is meant to celebrate coming together, it’s really not normal to separate married couples in this, particularly a sister in law.

Sure but the sibling is invited so they clearly are... I am baffled by the idea of then not inviting their spouse. To a wedding .

As pp’s have mentioned, I feel context is all. If the wedding is B&G plus literally 4 other people, then I do not feel it is at all rude (although thats a big ask money- and holiday entitlement-wise). If, however, there are 50 - 100 ppl invited and they have purposefully excluded you then that is absolutely horrible and you and DH should be distancing yourselves from them. Until we have the answer to the size of the guest list, no one is really in a position to say.

at the risk of derailing this convo: nope. SIL wanted to "steal my thunder" of delivering the first grandchild. They only set their date after i had told my parents i was (against all expectations) pregnant. I told them all at 8 weeks for various reasons. 2 months later BAM! "we're getting married on [duedate+2]" so - meh. fuck em.

I am hugely disappointed not to have been at only sibling's wedding, but then he's turned out to be a bit of a waste of space even though when we do see each other we have a lot of fun. So meh.

ETA. also no to going and bowing out. The whole point of the exercise is that i don't live in the same country. SILs loss. I'm a great and supportive family member to her offspring.

Maybe your husband should refuse on the grounds that his sister's intended spouse is not family, either

How very weird of your SIL!

Even if one takes the view that in-laws aren't family, it's still pretty rude to not invite a spouse to a wedding!

Care about this marriage ? Maybe some people need to research what marriage means . I do know , and it was very apparent my husband her brother was just expected to go , by himself . My post was simply a question how ppl would feel

What has he decided to do OP? Has he spoken to them about why you have been excluded?

It’s very sad that some people think it’s okay to exclude siblings’ spouses for major events. You can afford a destination wedding but not one more plate of food and chair for your brother’s wife.
No wonder they never have a decent relationship.

Most people have destination weddings because it's massively cheaper for the bride and groom, and say sod everyone else's annual leave allowance and holiday budget.