No kids allowed at the wedding is on father's day!

[IrisRuby]

My husband is best man at his close friends wedding and for years we always thought they would be kids at the wedding as our friends do like kids.

Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this.

several months went by and no mention of if kids were allowed which I found odd because normally people would know well in advance if not to arrange child care. I just sent a text saying I'm looking at booking a hotel are the kids coming so I know how many to book for just to see if they were allowed. I got a text back saying nothing under teens allowed as I want everybody to enjoy a day with their partner and she said she doesn't think it would be child friendly.

I was upset by this and so was my kids as we have been talking about the wedding for so long all of our other friends going are also gutted by this too. To make matters worse I've just realised that it falls on father's day. My husband is great dad and we are both big on spending time together as a family.

My husband friend has to run everything past her she is very much the boss. So it's no surprise he has had no input into the wedding, but I just thought of all days why fathers day with no kids allowed. We both agree it's going to taint the day for us now.

Their day, their way I’m afraid

I think it is really dumb to have a no kids wedding on Father’s Day, I’d be so unimpressed.

I just wouldn't go. It is their choice, but it's also your choice whether you go or not.

I'd just celebrate Father's day the day before.

I'd be fine with this. You obviously suspected it would be kid free. I would have asked before discussing it with the kids.

Is Father’s Day really a thing? We’re a happy and close family who love celebrating and I don’t think we’ve ever done anything for Father’s Day. A card and chocolate if we remember and no big deal if everyone forgets. Not much more for Mothers Day either. It’s another one of those ‘traditions’ that has been bigged up to get people to consume more.

Their wedding, their choice.

It was foolish to get the kids excited about a wedding you suspected they wouldn't be asked to given the bride's comment at the previous wedding.

Having a no-kids wedding on Father's Day is a bit weird but ultimately Father's Day is 1) made up 2) just a date in the calendar so you can designate it on a different day if you want.

Have the invitations not gone out saying "no children" or only to named adults? Only a few weeks away now.

Their wedding, their choice.

Was a bit silly to assume kids when they hadn’t been invited, and she’d made the comment at the previous wedding. It was your choice to talk about it with your DC, not knowing if they were invited or not.

Father’s Day celebrations wouldn’t bother us, just move the day?

You clearly don’t like her though. Just don’t go if it really bothers you that much.

I’m always surprised how often people post on this forum about the topic of kids at weddings. Not sure what advice or guidance is being sought when a couple state they want a child-free wedding. The only 3 options are surely: go without your kids, one of you goes and the other stay with kids, or politely decline the invitation? I guess option 4 is get the couple to change their wedding day to suit your specific circumstances/needs…..😐

What I meant to say was in the post also is the bride did say although this was a couple of years ago that she was going to have kids there. I just assumed. That is why I was taken back when I heard what she said last year. At first I thought I heard it wrong because I was shocked.

Their wedding their choice, but I understand your annoyance.

I also hate it when the bride and groom say things like ‘it’s so you can really enjoy the wedding’. Actually it’s a pain organising childcare for a night and it would be less stressful to just bring the DC. Own the decision (they’re the ones paying after all) rather than acting like they’re doing the guests a favour!

We got a save the date card in February, but that was only because my husband went to their house and picked it up with a link to their website with no information of no kids or anything. Just info about the venue and when it starts.

Fathers' day really isn't such a thing. Even if it is for your family, you can choose to make a special day and make it Fathers' Day any other Sunday, doing what you want and not being at someone else's wedding.

Their day, their choice.

Not sure why you are giving the bride so much flak, it doesn't come across well.

You choose your attitude. If you want to let it "taint" the day, then so be it. Tbh, with that and the way you describe the bride, if you were my "friends" I'm not sure I'd want you there.

Can you really not enjoy one day without your kids? Is it really going to be tainted?

Father’s Day is made up.

So dramatic.

I'm not a fan of childfree weddings in general bit the fact that it's Father's Day is really neither here nor there. Same as Mother's Day. You can get a card the Day before or after.

She said she wouldn’t be having any kids at her wedding last year.

Why on earth are you now confused at ‘no kids?’

Why would you get the kids all excited about a wedding that you knew there was a good chance they haven’t been invited too?

I can see your point now. I've decided I'm not going anyway seen as I've been told not to bring my baby and I'm exclusively bf.

Op you mustn’t like the couple that much to make this all about your needs. When we got married 15 years ago we had no kids there. As much as I love kids, it changes the dynamic of the whole day.

She said a couple of years ago she was going to have kids there.

For the vast majority of people Father’s Day or Mother’s Day isn’t a big deal, past giving a card and/pr present in the morning.

Given it’s not a big deal for most people can see why someone wouldn’t avoid that day particularly if it works for other reasons. I think you are feeling put out that it’s a child free wedding and going to keep finding additional reasons to be wound up about it.

I genuinely don’t understand why people get so upset other people choose to have child free weddings.

More important that what she said in the past is who the invitation was addressed to - were the children's names on it?

Just to explain a little more why I was abit annoyed by this. My husband friend was late for our wedding and made the wedding cars late (he was the best man) and it was at 3 o clock in the afternoon. He didn't even arrange a stag doo for my husband and has made sure he's having a week away somewhere for his. You say I don't like her I invited her to my wedding and hardly knew her at the time only met her once and she had 3 course dinner.

We've all been friends for years but I can't help but find it this latest trend no kids doesn't sit right with me and like I said I'm not going because I'm not leaving my baby with a baby sitter which is something she did suggest if it's going to be an issue and her wedding venue is 3 hours from our house.

Why are you trying to make someone else’s wedding day about you and your kids?

You’re being really self absorbed here. If it doesn’t suit, just don’t go.

It isn’t the “latest trend” to not have kids. We didn’t have kids (including babes in arms) at our wedding 15 years ago and thank fuck for that.

how old are your kids?

That's pretty irrelevant when you know that last year she said she wouldn't be inviting any