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Original poster

No kids allowed at the wedding is on father's day!

491 replies

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 05:41

My husband is best man at his close friends wedding and for years we always thought they would be kids at the wedding as our friends do like kids.

Last year I was at a wedding with this couple and the wedding we went to had no kids (apart from close family children) but did allow babies and I over heard the bride to be tell DH close friend" well I think it was very good of her to allow babies because I'm telling you now I'm not" I was abit taken back by this.

several months went by and no mention of if kids were allowed which I found odd because normally people would know well in advance if not to arrange child care. I just sent a text saying I'm looking at booking a hotel are the kids coming so I know how many to book for just to see if they were allowed. I got a text back saying nothing under teens allowed as I want everybody to enjoy a day with their partner and she said she doesn't think it would be child friendly.

I was upset by this and so was my kids as we have been talking about the wedding for so long all of our other friends going are also gutted by this too. To make matters worse I've just realised that it falls on father's day. My husband is great dad and we are both big on spending time together as a family.

My husband friend has to run everything past her she is very much the boss. So it's no surprise he has had no input into the wedding, but I just thought of all days why fathers day with no kids allowed. We both agree it's going to taint the day for us now.

OP posts:
BananaSpanner · 04/05/2024 06:59

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 04/05/2024 06:51

I wouldn't have a clue if an event I was organising fell on Mother's Day or Father's Day to be fair

Most people will as they know roughly when they fall and are normally noted in any calendar or diary in print or digitally. Most people planning a wedding would avoid significant dates like that especially if they were excluding children!

Mother’s and Father’s Days aren’t just about the adult, our kids actually like them more than we do and try and nice things for us. However, to be honest, it’s easily swapped to another day.

People can invite who they want to their wedding, however telling me it’s for my benefit and enjoyment is a dishonest pisstake.

Itsonlymashadow · 04/05/2024 07:00

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 06:52

Me neither it was my mum that mentioned it by looking in her diary to book day off work, she was going to look after our dog

So what’s the point of the thread?

You wouldn’t have thought about it either. So why do you think they should have?

Theunamedcat · 04/05/2024 07:00

When I booked my wedding Sunday was the most expensive day to have it

Disasterclass · 04/05/2024 07:00

Well they should have sent an invite to everyone being clear no kids were invited as not everyone would have been in your position and heard her say she doesn't want kids there.

That said it sounds like you haven't let her know that you're not going. In which case you should do this asap. I wouldn't go to a non child wedding if I had a 4 month old, but it's their choice and shouldn't be a surprise given how long you've known

SheilaFentiman · 04/05/2024 07:00

Also… you just sent a text about this re hotel bookings when the wedding is in less than two months? And the wedding is three hours away on a Sunday when at least two of your kids need to be at school the next day? And you only just realised it was Father’s Day yourself but you are pissed off with them for putting it on Father’s Day?

Riiiiiight.

MississippiAF · 04/05/2024 07:02

BananaSpanner · 04/05/2024 06:59

Most people will as they know roughly when they fall and are normally noted in any calendar or diary in print or digitally. Most people planning a wedding would avoid significant dates like that especially if they were excluding children!

Mother’s and Father’s Days aren’t just about the adult, our kids actually like them more than we do and try and nice things for us. However, to be honest, it’s easily swapped to another day.

People can invite who they want to their wedding, however telling me it’s for my benefit and enjoyment is a dishonest pisstake.

Show quote history

Depends if you think mother and Father’s Day are ‘significant dates’

I certainly wouldn’t.

SheilaFentiman · 04/05/2024 07:02

And your DH is the best man but never once said to his mate, or his mate to him “hey, are kids allowed? No? Ok!” in all the planning.

But this is the bride’s fault, somehow?

Mmm hmm.

chaticat · 04/05/2024 07:02

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 06:18

Just to explain a little more why I was abit annoyed by this. My husband friend was late for our wedding and made the wedding cars late (he was the best man) and it was at 3 o clock in the afternoon. He didn't even arrange a stag doo for my husband and has made sure he's having a week away somewhere for his. You say I don't like her I invited her to my wedding and hardly knew her at the time only met her once and she had 3 course dinner.

We've all been friends for years but I can't help but find it this latest trend no kids doesn't sit right with me and like I said I'm not going because I'm not leaving my baby with a baby sitter which is something she did suggest if it's going to be an issue and her wedding venue is 3 hours from our house.

Get over your wedding. Its irrelevant.

Just do what you want. You've been told the deal. It really doesn't have to be a BIG THING. It's not a drama.

funmamamoo · 04/05/2024 07:02

Weddings are a celebration of romantic love and union between two consenting adults NOT a child's party. It costs a fortune to have kids there. My wedding was child-free and every single guest invited came. They all embraced the opportunity to let-loose and enjoy themselves without kids.

It sounds like your kids are your life OP. You probably need to get one.

That said, as you have said (numerous times) you are EBF. The perfect reason not to attend this union between two people you patently dislike.

Itsonlymashadow · 04/05/2024 07:03

SheilaFentiman · 04/05/2024 07:00

Also… you just sent a text about this re hotel bookings when the wedding is in less than two months? And the wedding is three hours away on a Sunday when at least two of your kids need to be at school the next day? And you only just realised it was Father’s Day yourself but you are pissed off with them for putting it on Father’s Day?

Riiiiiight.

Have to say I find the timing of all this very weird.

Family of 6 wait until now to book a hotel? Hotels rarely have plenty of rooms available that accommodate 6 or can guarantee 2 rooms near each other that you can wait until last minute to book a room.

and save the dates in February for a wedding in June?

Cactuslove · 04/05/2024 07:03

If I could have a mothers day kid free I'd take that as a win 🤣 mothers day and fathers day are just cards and chocolates and the responsibility of looking after the kids like every other day of the year.... a day off sounds like a proper father's day to me!

chaticat · 04/05/2024 07:04

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 06:50

I did try her that that and they she said to try and get a baby sitter and give baby a bottle.
She said she really wanted us there. It wasn't a matter of I understand

That's fine you just have to say sorry I can't make it as my child needs me but DH can still make it. It's not that big a deal

Potplant19 · 04/05/2024 07:04

I think you've been treated quite harshly here.

4 months is tiny and I wouldn't be leaving a baby that you to go to a wedding. I'd be disappointed they hadn't spoken with you beforehand about the no kids aspect, especially the baby.

Their day, their way etc is fine but with that comes you don't get the guests who can't easily attend as a result. I've declined invites to child free weddings in the past because my children were too young to be left.

Original poster
IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 07:04

I heard the comment last August and I thought have I heard that right.

I had to ask on February and the wedding is in June if kids were going because nothing was mentioned on the wedding or in person.

She then went on to say let other people know no kids.

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 04/05/2024 07:05

So you have known since Feb about the no kids?

Original poster
IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 07:06

Yes but nobody else knows

OP posts:
Doghairdoishare · 04/05/2024 07:07

My husband's close friend had their wedding on a Sunday and it was no children. My daughter was only 8 months old. Oh and it was MOTHER'S DAY. My first mother's day!!! It was 4.5 hours from home so we had to stay away from our baby overnight too.
I sucked it up and attended the wedding BUT still hold a tiny grudge. There were family members children there and it was only a small wedding which didn't help the rage I felt.
Anyway I think you should go and just quietly seeth.

Original poster
IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 07:07

My husband has let other people look know with toddlers

OP posts:
Itsonlymashadow · 04/05/2024 07:08

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 07:04

I heard the comment last August and I thought have I heard that right.

I had to ask on February and the wedding is in June if kids were going because nothing was mentioned on the wedding or in person.

She then went on to say let other people know no kids.

So the text was in February? You have known since then?

and decided today you aren’t going? So annoyed she didn’t tell you. Though you knew.

But you have been intending to go, without the kids, for a couple of months and now deciding you won’t be going. Today?

Cas112 · 04/05/2024 07:08

There wedding, what they say goes. Most people prefer a wedding with no kids apart from the people that mither to take kids

Celebrate Father's Day the day before

Myusernamemustbeatleastthreecharacters · 04/05/2024 07:08

I would be more worried about the bride reading this thread which seems very outing, you aren't coming across like you like her at all, which will cause more of a problem in the social circle than whether kids were at their wedding, which is a choice thousands of brides and grooms make, also their wedding was probably a bit cheaper for booking on father's day.

SheilaFentiman · 04/05/2024 07:08

“Most people will as they know roughly when they fall and are normally noted in any calendar or diary in print or digitally. Most people planning a wedding would avoid significant dates like that especially if they were excluding children!”

Venues get booked up, there may not have been a ton of choice. We were far more concerned about the dates of a major football tournament when booking ours as that impacted more guests!

Original poster
IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 07:09

She said to let her know by this date when they finalise everything. She has been hoping I get a baby sitter.

OP posts:
Itsonlymashadow · 04/05/2024 07:11

IrisRuby · 04/05/2024 07:06

Yes but nobody else knows

Really?

They aren’t planning a children wedding without telling people it’s childfree.

They waited til February to do save the dates and the save the dates indicate children are invited? And they haven’t done invites yet? And hoping word of mouth stops people bringing kids?

It really read that either you are going to keep adding stuff in until you can get people to agree with you. Or they are simply trying to put you in a situation where you and your kids don’t attend.

Toomuchgoingon79 · 04/05/2024 07:11

I don't blame her for having a child free wedding- this is what we are doing!

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